“Just hear me out, for chrissake,” I huffed. “As I was saying, he lived next door to Rodney, and I guess they’d been friends since the second grade or something. But when we hit high school, Rodney turned into a fox and started his band, and Bodie and Jude … well, I guess they were late bloomers. They were always so cute — you know, in that, like, puppy sort of way where you go Aww. But I didn’t even know their real names. I knew them by Diddle and Dee Dee.”
Veronica’s mouth popped open. “Those nicknames are fucking awful.”
I chuckled. “I know, trust me. I meant to ask him the story there, but I was way too busy with his dick.”
They giggled.
“Guys,” I said on a laugh, “I got diddled by Diddle.”
I got a solid cackle for that one.
I shook my head, smiling. “I guess Rodney gave them the nicknames. That’s not altogether surprising. Rodney was a cockjuggler.”
“So are you,” Ramona teased.
“It’s true, and I don’t judge a fellow juggler of cocks for their extracurriculars,” I said with a hand out. “He was always kind of shitty to them.” My tone softened a little, the edge all gone as I thought back, wishing I’d seen Bodie back then, wishing he hadn’t just disappeared into my periphery. “They were around a lot — hanging at practice, sometimes at the parties. I just don’t know why they hung around when Rodney was such an asshole to them. He was always teasing them about something, but he was so slick about it, you know? Most of the time, I didn’t know if he was complimenting or cutting me down. Bodie had so much more in common back then than I realized.”
I hated Rodney for what he’d done to all of us and found myself scowling at the memory of him, but I brushed it off and bucked up, smiling again with a shrug.
“Anyway, his loss. And now I find out that Diddle grew up to be Bodie, the super-hot surfer hunk. I would have bet a million dildos that I’d never see him again and been wrong, and I’ve never been so glad to be wrong in my life. He was incredible. Life-changing. He’s real smart too. I mean, he was always a brainiac in high school, and now he does … something in computers, I think.”
I got a look from Veronica. “You don’t know what he does for a living?”
I made a noise like an air leak. “You are such a judgy whore, Ronnie. One of these days, the tables are gonna be turned, but instead of being all Oh, look at me. I’m so perfect and smart and do everything right,” I mocked, “I’ll be like, Way to go, bitch! and buy you a really big, whorey penis cake.”
She laughed.
“I’m gonna tell the erotic baker to make it spurt vanilla icing. I’ll have them make licorice pubes and everything. Dick cake. It’s genius really — two of my favorite things. And that’s what you have to look forward to — no judgment.”
Veronica shook her head, though she looked entirely amused. “You are so bad, Penny.”
“I am. And I’m just like a bad penny too. I always turn up. There’s no getting rid of me.”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” She slung an arm over my shoulder. “You’re a good friend—”
“Thank you,” I said sweetly.
“Even if you’re disgusting.”
I leaned into her as we walked up to Tonic’s door. “Aw, I love you too.”
Ramona pulled open the door, and Veronica and I walked in, still canoodling. “Precious” by The Pretenders played over the speakers.
“Look, Ronnie — it’s your song!”
She laughed, slapping me on the ass when we parted.
Ramona beelined for the counter where Shep waited, smiling from behind his thick beard. I swear to God, he and his brother, Joel, had the most virile hair of any men I’d ever seen.
She practically jumped into his big, meaty arms. Ramona was a tiny blonde thing covered in tattoos, and he was a big, hairy beast with a smile only for her.
I found myself smiling too, watching how gross they were. They almost made me wish I wanted to fall in love.
The thought actually made me laugh out loud.
I made my way to my station in the back and stepped into my little cube to get myself situated.
Tonic was one of the premier tattoo parlors in Manhattan, so good that most of us were booked out for months. Joel and Shep had opened it forever ago and had curated some of the best talent in the city — so much talent that they got attention in the way of awards, magazine features, and even a deal with a TV studio.
About a year before, we’d started filming a reality show in the shop, which basically turned the place into a telenovela. Drama city. But man, was it fun, and everyone had seemed to get it all out of their systems in the first season. Season two would start filming soon, kicking off with Ramona and Shep’s wedding.