Author: Tara Sue Me
“Thanks,” Cole said. “Sometimes you just need to hear the words. ”
• • •
Sasha threw herself into work the next Monday. Julie thought she was trying to keep her mind busy so she didn’t have to face whatever it was that had upset her at the group meeting. Sasha refused to talk about it, though, simply stating she was done with being a submissive.
Since Sasha had the shop covered, Julie decided to stop by Daniel’s grandmother’s place after lunch. While cleaning house on Sunday, she’d come across the books she’d promised the older lady. A weekday afternoon would be a safe time to go take them, she thought. After all, Daniel would be working.
Except he wasn’t.
“Daniel,” she said, taking a step backward when he opened his grandmother’s door. “What . . . why . . . ?”
Daniel covered his surprise quickly and opened the door to let her inside. “I had to take her to the doctor’s. We just got back and I’ve convinced her to nap. ” He nodded to the books in Julie’s hand. “Wanted to swing by when I wouldn’t be here?”
She lifted her chin, refusing to feel guilty. “Can you blame me?”
“No. ” His expression was sad. “I can’t and I’m sorry, I didn’t say it to be cruel. ”
The truth of his words—the truth that he wasn’t a cruel man—made her feel warm inside. He cared for his sister and his niece, and took his grandmother to doctor appointments. She knew he’d asked Dena to check up on Sasha after the group meeting Thursday night.
Even in his playroom, where obedience was expected without question, he’d never treated her cruelly. He’d been patient, slowly introducing her to the unexplored side of her sexual nature.
She tentatively touched his arm. “No, I’m the sorry one. ”
She thought he looked tired and wondered if he tossed and turned the way she did. Did he lie in bed remembering their time together? Did those memories haunt him, too?
“Let me take those for you. ” He reached for the books. “You know you didn’t have to bring them. ”
“I wanted to. ”
“I know and she’ll love them. ” He walked into the sitting area and placed them on a table beside the couch. “Would you like to sit down? I’ll get you a drink. ”
She was torn. Like before, being in the same room with him left her confused. One look at him and she felt lost in need and desire. A glance at his hands and she wanted them on her. She missed his smile, his wit, and his easygoing manner.
“Or if you need to get back,” he said, misinterpreting her silence.
“No, it’s fine. ” She sat on the couch, not ready to leave him just yet. “Sasha’s got it covered. ”
He sat beside her. “How is she?”
“Overcompensating. Throwing herself into work. Refusing to talk. ”
“Do you think it’d be a good idea for her to talk with someone? Professionally?”
“At this point I’d suggest anything. ”
“That bad?”
“I just hate to see her hurting. ”
“I know how you feel,” he said. “It’s difficult to see someone you care about in pain. ”
She couldn’t face the intensity of his gaze, knowing he was talking about them, so she dropped her head and played with a loose thread on her shirt. “I know you told me it was over, but I haven’t stopped wanting. Needing. ”
“Julie,” he said, softly. “I only did what I did to ease your internal turmoil. To give you what you thought you wanted. ”
“I know, but you can’t command my mind the way you did my body. ”
“You just didn’t give me enough time. ”
Her head shot up. “What?”
“A Dominant-submissive relationship takes time to build, especially when one of the participants is new. ” He scooted forward. “Do you remember that last day? When I commanded you not to orgasm?”
“Frequently,” she confessed, earning a smile from him.
“Do you understand that, yes, part of the scene was taking control away from you, but it was also me learning you and your body?”
She shook her head.
“Learning what turns you on, what you like, what you love. How your face, body, and breathing look when you’re about to come. ” He leaned toward her and her body answered in kind. “Your forehead wrinkles and your left eyebrow twitches, by the way. ”
She couldn’t hold back the laugh. “What?”
“Right before you cl**ax, your forehead wrinkles and your left eyebrow twitches. ”
He would know, of course, because he was an excellent Dominant. Exactly like he’d told her once before. And still, even after what happened to Sasha, to be in the same room with him left her achy and needy.
Perhaps, she wondered, that was because her body accepted what she was and refused to deny itself that need.
And in that moment she knew. She could pretend all she wanted that she wasn’t a submissive, but pretending would never make it so. Daniel had helped her discover her true sexual self, and now that she knew the truth, she could never again deny it.
The only question to answer was, what would she do with that knowledge?
• • •
Dena nearly squealed when Julie asked her to come by for a talk the following weekend. Seeing Daniel again had ignited something inside her. Even watching Sasha deal with her own demons didn’t deter it. During the day, Julie forced herself to focus on work, but at night she allowed the memories to wash over her. Memories of time spent in Daniel’s playroom and in his bed, yes. But more important, memories of him.