Author: Tara Sue Me
“That’s quite a collar,” Cole said.
“She’s quite a woman. ”
“She didn’t know you were going to offer it to her?”
“I was going to surprise her. ”
Without saying a word, Cole got up and poured Daniel another glass of scotch.
• • •
For the next five days, Daniel put off doing what he knew he had to do. Perhaps, he thought, part of him hoped Cole had been right and Julie would come around. As the days went by, though, and she didn’t take his calls or return his messages, he knew he had to take the next step.
He had to set her free.
She looked surprised when she saw him at her door, but she opened it and let him inside. Dena had told him Sasha had moved back to her own place over the past weekend.
“How’s Sasha?” he asked anyway.
“Good. She came back to work on Monday. ” She nodded toward the couch, but he shook his head.
“I’m glad she’s recovering well. ”
“Dena’s been by a few times. It helps Sasha to talk to her. Are you sure you don’t want to sit?”
“I’m fine standing. How are you doing?”
She glanced at him and then looked to the floor. “You told me once to be honest, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m scared. I know I’m a submissive, but I don’t know what to do with it. ”
Just as he expected. “I can understand you’re scared, but what I don’t understand is why you’re avoiding me. ”
She looked up, blinking back tears. “Because I look at you and I get all confused. I make up my mind to do one thing, but I look at you and second-guess myself. ”
It took all his strength not to touch her, to gently stroke her cheek and tell her it’d be okay. But that would be a lie and he never lied.
“I need you to remember two things,” he said. “If you forget everything else I say today, I need you to remember this: my feelings for you run deep and strong and true. Second, having you give me your submission means more to me than I can express with mere words and I am honored you trusted me with it for a time. ”
“For a time?” Her forehead wrinkled. “I don’t understand. ”
“I’ve been waiting for you to decide what you wanted, but you can’t seem to figure it out. That tells me you’re not ready. ”
“What?”
“I’m deciding for you,” he said, crossing his arms. “It’s over, Julie. ”
She sank into the couch. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“I’m doing the best thing I can for you. I’m setting you free. ”
“It feels like the same thing. ”
It felt like metal bars encircled his heart. Sitting on the couch, she looked so small and fragile. He wanted nothing more than to sit beside her and take her into his arms. He was supposed to be her protector, not the one to cause her more pain.
“I know it does,” he said. “Believe me when I say I’d rather cut my own arm off than hurt you in any way, but this is the only option that makes sense. The only option that allows you the type of safety you feel you need. ”
“Safety I feel I need?”
He sat beside her so they could talk on the same level. “You’re a submissive. You will never feel safer than when you’re under a Dominant’s control. ”
She wiped her eyes. “How can you say that with what happened to Sasha? She wasn’t safe with Peter. ”
“We’re not talking about Sasha. We’re talking about you. ”
“That’s semantics. ”
“It’s not semantics, Julie, and you’re forgetting one very important difference. ”
“What’s that?”
“I’m not Peter. ”
Her breath caught and he gave her a sad smile. He should feel insulted she thought for one second he could ever treat her the way Peter had treated Sasha. Instead, he just felt sad. Sad she let her fear rule her. Sad she didn’t fight him. And sad for the fact that everything they could have been together was slipping through his fingers.
“I know you’re not Peter. ”
He wondered if her words sounded as empty to her as they did to him.
“We both know that’s not the truth or else we wouldn’t be having this conversation. ” He stood up, suddenly tired. “Good-bye, Julie. ”
• • •
Julie went to work the next day, but she was only going through the motions. Inside she felt like a robot. A windup robot, threatening to run down at any second. Her feet were like lead and it took too much energy to function. Sasha was still too wrapped up mentally in her own thoughts to notice, but when Dena stopped by to bring lunch, Julie moaned. There was no way she could hide what had happened from the sharp-eyed woman.
“I brought sushi,” Dena called, gliding through the store, carrying bags into the break room in the back.
“Not really hungry,” Sasha said.
“Me either,” Julie echoed.