He met her for lunch Wednesday at her favorite deli. Though they had talked on the phone and texted a few times, there was something about seeing him in person that made Julie feel as giddy as a teenager.
He stood when she approached the table and pulled her chair out. Before she could sit down, he placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
“I’m so glad this worked out,” he said. “That you were able to step away. ”
“Sasha owes me. She does lunch with Peter regularly and I’m left at the shop by myself. ”
“She’s a lively woman. The group wouldn’t be the same without her. ”
Julie placed her napkin in her lap. She didn’t have to look over the menu; she knew exactly what she was going to order. “She’s the people person of the shop. Never met a stranger. And she’ll talk to a stone wall just to have someone to talk with. ”
“You’re not exactly an introvert. ”
“No, I wouldn’t call me that. I’d just say I’m guarded. ”
“There’s a lot of wisdom in being that way. ” He stood up. “Do you know what you want? I’ll go order for us. ”
She told him her sandwich order and watched as he walked up to the counter. There was such confidence and grace in the way he moved, she swore she could watch him forever. Even though he wore a suit and tie, it was easy to picture him the way he’d been over the weekend. She knew exactly what was under those clothes.
“This looks great,” he said, when he came back with their sandwiches. “I decided to try what you ordered. ”
“It’s one of my favorites. ” Chicken, Brie, and sun-dried tomatoes on ciabatta. She and Sasha ordered takeout here at least once a week.
They ate in compatible silence for a few minutes, though she was aware he watched her with careful eyes. When they started talking, they spoke about work and how the week was going.
“How are you feeling?” he asked at one point. “Any questions about last weekend or anything you want to discuss?”
“Here?” She looked around the crowded deli. Sure, people were wrapped up in their own conversations, but she didn’t feel comfortable discussing kinky sex in public. He’d spanked her, for crying out loud.
“I could take you back to my place, but I’m not sure I’d be able to keep my hands off you long enough to talk. ”
That made her laugh. “It’s just so public. ”
“I think we’ll be able to discuss it without anyone knowing what we’re talking about. ”
She pushed her chair forward and leaned close to
him to ensure no one heard but him. “I feel conflicted. There’s one part of me that says, what should it matter if I enjoy being spanked? I’m a grown woman fully capable of making my own decisions. Then the other part says, why would a grown woman let herself be spanked?”
He didn’t show any surprise at her confession. “And in your mind you think a grown woman shouldn’t want to be spanked or submit sexually?”
“I don’t know if it’s me who thinks that or if it’s what society has told me to think. ”
“Then the question becomes, who do you listen to? Yourself or everyone else?”
She sighed and sat back in her seat, looking at the table. “You make it sound so simple. ”
“Do you think I never struggled with the nature of my sexual needs?”
Her head shot up. “You? Why?”
This time it was his turn to lean in close to her. “Do you think society at large finds it acceptable for a man to get off tying up his lover and spanking her? Forcing her to her knees so she can suck him?”
“That’s different. You’re the man. ”
“So where does that leave submissive men?”
She didn’t have a reply for that.
“You have to treat everyone by the same rules,” he said. “If you say men can be submissive or Dominant simply because they’re men, you have to say women can likewise be submissive or Dominant simply because they’re women. Fair is fair. ”
She offered him a small smile. “Everyone’s equal?”
“Everyone’s equal. Inside the playroom or outside the playroom. ”
“You make everything seem so easy. ” What he said made sense at the moment. She just wasn’t sure if she’d still look at it that way when he wasn’t sitting across from her.
“Not easy,” he said. “Simple. There’s a difference. Something can be simple and still be hard. It was simple for your body to react to me last weekend. It’s hard for your mind to admit your submissive nature. ”
She picked at a bit of cheese hanging off her sandwich. “You think I’m submissive?”
“Look at me, Julie. ”
Her eyes met his before she could even process that he’d given a command she’d obeyed effortlessly.
“I’m not going to answer that,” he said. “If I say ‘yes’ because I’ve been around enough novice submissives to know, it’ll appear as if I’m trying to fit you into a defined box. If I say ‘no,’ it’ll look like I’m trying to make you something you’re not. ”
“But if I’m simply looking for your opinion?”
He shook his head. “I’m too personally involved. Besides, understanding and accepting your sexuality is a journey of self-discovery. ”
They spent the next few minutes eating silently. Daniel seemed at ease with the quiet. She appreciated that he allowed her time to think. Of course, she could always think more about their conversation when they weren’t on a date.
“Tell me about your journey,” she asked, breaking the silence. “How did you know?”
He put the remainder of his sandwich down and wiped his hands. “First of all, you should know it wasn’t easy for me, okay?” At her nod, he continued. “While I was in college, I dated a girl who liked to be spanked. I kept telling her no, that I wasn’t like that. Couldn’t do that to her. She kept insisting, so I eventually did it. It had to be the most inept spanking ever, but it made me harder than I’d ever been before. ”
She nodded and picked up a potato chip. “And that’s how you knew. ”
“No, that’s when I broke up with her the next day and swore I’d never do anything like it again. ”
The potato chip fell to the table and he laughed at her expression.