For the first time--for it must be remembered that in addition to her youth and immaturity she had hitherto been entirely land-locked, as it were, in her own memories and dreams of Zen-Kurel, and had never discussed her love with anyone--there began to dawn upon the ingenuous Maia some idea oi what Zen-Kurel must have felt upon hearing how the garrison at Rallur had been warned in time. Like a child to whom an adult points out something serious and unwelcome which till now has lain beyond the restricted field of personal experience, she sensed, vaguely yet dismally, that this was a matter she was not going to be able to disregard or ignore; and began by trying to do just that.
"I don't reckon he'd be angry--not if I could talk to him, like--explain--tell him the rights of it--how I felt an' that."
"Don'tyou?"
"I would 'a done just that--told him how I felt--if only there'd been time: I would have! Fact I was starting to, only soon as he heard that trumpet blowing for the muster he was up and off--oh! that was so dreadful, Sednil! When I realized he was going to the fighting--" Her tears began to fall again.
"And you think he'd have listened to you, do you?"
"He loves me. We could have gone away together: we could have gone to his father's in Katria--"
"And him one of the king's personal aides? I thought you had more sense, Maia."
"Are you jealous of him? Is that it?" She knew this was nothing to the purpose, but anything was better than accepting the truth.
"Well, I might be, but that's not the point. What I'm asking is, do you really suppose this fellow feels the same about you--that is, if he's still alive--knowing what he can't help knowing now? 'Cos if I was him I'd want to cut you up into fifty bits, that's what."
As a last resort the Serrelinda fell back on her dignity. "Since you're so keen on what's the point, that's not the point either, U-Sednil. The only point as far as you're concerned is that I happen to want to know where Zen-Kurel is now. That's the job I'm talking about; just that and nothing more. He's an enemy of Bekla, fighting for King Karnat, so I've got to be careful how I go about it, haven't I? No one's to know. I'm offering you four thousand meld to go and find out for me, and that's what I came here to say tonight. Never mind what you think Zen-Kurel thinks: that's none of your business. Do you want the job or not?"
"Four thousand meld?" He was clearly startled.
The jekzha had gone the length of the Sheldad and they had now reached the place, not far from the western clock tower, where it broke up into the narrower streets and lanes of the poorer quarter of the city. The jekzha-man stopped and turned his head.
"Where to now, sir?"
Maia gave him fifteen meld. "Just turn round and go back. You needn't hurry."
He shrugged his shoulders, pocketed the money and made the turn, pushing his way through a crowd of roisterers outside a tavern. As they got clear, a snatch of tipsy song came up from behind.
"--So then she jumped right out of Karnat's winder: No one could hinder The Serrelinda--"
Maia could not suppress a chuckle. "Never heard that one before."
"Nor me. They don't tell you, then, when they make them up?"
"Just as well they don't, some of 'em."
At least it had blown away the ill-feeling between them.
"I'm sorry, Maia: you're the last person in the world I'd want to fall out with. Yes, I will do this for you--for you, and because I need the money. Four thousand meld! D'you really mean it? Cran, I could start a business with that!"
"That's if you come back, Sednil. Trying to get information about a Katrian--you'll be running a risk, you know. You can get to Urtah all right, I suppose?"
"That's no trouble: I could be looking for work, couldn't I? But how about the money?" asked Sednil.
"When d'you--"
"Half now and half when jou get back. That's fair, isn't it? I brought it with me: two thousand. Here it is."
"You trust me that much, then? Two thousand--I could be off with that, you know."
"No, I trust you."
"It's just that I've got out of the way of being trusted, that's all." He paused. Then, "Yes, Maia, of course I'm jealous of this Katrian."
"Nennaunir loves you."
It was his rum to flare up. "Yes, so much that she wouldn't even speak up for me about that basting ring! She could have saved me--"
"Sednil, you couldn't expect it; you really couldn't. She would have, if the queen had sentenced you to the mines or to hang. She did all she could to get you out, and what's more she's succeeded--"
"You succeeded."
"She still loves you, Sednil. She's told me as much. And now she's rich and successful you'd be a fool to leave her."
"Well, that's my business. But I shan't tell Nan about this: I'll simply teU her that I'm leaving Bekla to look for work, and I'll be back as soon as I can."
"You could go so far as to tell her you're going to Urtah. See, it's only that I don't like deceiving Nan any more 'n what we have to. She's been a good friend to me."
"I shall go to Dan first, Maia. For one thing, it's less likely to attract attention than if I were to go straight to Urtah from Bekla; but besides that, my old mother's still living in Dari--or she was--and I'd like to give her some of this money. And won't she be happy and proud to see her son with a branded hand and release token?" added Sednil bitterly.
"But can't you tell her as 'twasn't none of your fault?" said Maia. "She ought to believe you--her own son."
"Oh, yes, and then s
he can just explain to all the neighbors, can't she, and to everyone else who gets to hear? Poor old woman, she'll be glad of the money, though. But I won't waste any time in getting on with your job, Maia, I promise. I don't see why I shouldn't be back in under two months. You say this Zen-Kurel was brought up in Dari: well, I could have known him when we were banzis, couldn't I, and be wondering what had become of him? That's where I'll start asking around, and then perhaps move up into Urtah, or even cross the Zhairgen. I may not have to go to Suba at all."
"How will you let me know when you get back?"
"I'll watch out for your lame girl in the market and tell her."
"Here we are back at the bridge. Good luck, Sednil, and I'll pray for you. Don't forget to give Randronoth's letter to Brero, will you?"
69: AN UNEXPECTED VISIT
Randronoth's letter--which bore the Canathron seal of Lapan--was short and so simple that Maia was able-- though with effort and a certain amount of inference here and there--to read it for herself. That, she supposed, was probably what he had intended.
"Beloved, beautiful Maia,
"I think of you always. I long to be with you again. I am sending you a present. Entertain and hear the messenger. He is my friend. He will tell you--" (The next bit was beyond her. Well, she thought rather impatiently, if he's going to tell me, don't matter, do it?) "He is to be trusted. Sednil is free, as you asked.
Your devoted lover, Randronoth."
She put it aside without reflection. The memory of the Randronoth episode was most bitter to her, not through any fault of his, but on account of its horrible and humiliating outcome. She simply wanted to forget it, and to forget him too. She felt nothing for him, and his feeling for her both alarmed and vexed her. Like most outstandingly beautiful girls, Maia had no objection to being desired where she did not desire--it was unavoidable, any-way--provided the admirer's behavior remained within reasonable bounds. But for a man in a high position to be virtually unbalanced--what she herself called "touched"--on her account was worrying, simply because one never knew whether he might not do something embarrassing or even downright dangerous. The present, being from a provincial governor, would have to be accepted, of course. She only hoped it wouldn't prove to be one which would make it more difficult to refuse him what he wanted--for to refuse him she was determined.