After boarding the plane, I went right to the back to avoid everyone. It was easier this way. If I didn’t have to talk to anyone, then I couldn’t be a prick.
To my surprise, Catherine followed me and sat down beside me.
“Hey,” she whispered. “How’s the hand?”
“It’s fine” I shrugged.
“Will it interfere with your playing?”
“No, I missed my fingers. I should be fine if I keep it covered.”
“That’s good,” she added.
“Yeah, I guess…” I had no idea what to say to her. I knew what I wanted to say to her. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to tell her that I really wasn’t such a fuckin’ bullheaded prick. I wanted to ask her to fuckin’ help me escape this hellish existence. But all those words were pointless. She’d still be looking at me with pity in her eyes. She’d still look at me like a fuckin’ puppy dog she felt sorry for. I didn’t want that. I wanted her to look at me like I was a fuckin’ man. The way she had yesterday, and the day before that. Before I’d fucked everything up beyond belief.
“Can we talk? Somewhere more private?” she asked. I knew I’d confused her. I knew I’d hurt her. But I’d pulled away to save her from getting her heart broken. And yet, here she was looking at me like there was still some kind of hope for something between us.
“Maybe later,” I said, standing up and walking back to the bedroom of the plane. I couldn’t bear looking at her. I couldn’t handle seeing what I’d done to her reflected in her eyes. I already knew what a selfish prick I was, I didn’t need to look in the mirror.
“I’ll hold you to that,” she said to my back.
I closed the door without meeting her eyes.
Chapter 31
CATHERINE
A deep sigh escaped my lips as I watched Liam close the door, shutting himself off from everyone once again. I had no idea what he was going through, but it was heavy. It hurt to see the way everyone shunned him, but I didn’t blame them. Hell, I’d only been hanging around a few days, and it was too much to take. I couldn’t imagine what they went through if he was like this all the time.
I looked around at the others, and they were all lost in their own thoughts. Rocket was staring at his phone, Rhys and Slade were in a corner looking out the window. Ian and Rhone were snuggled up together and talking quietly. None of them had said much to me at all, and I felt like a huge outsider today. They were probably all wondering if I was going to write about last night’s antics in my story.
Hell, I was wondering the same thing.
At this point, I was so confused, I had no idea what to write. But our flight today was almost two hours, so I figured now was just as good a time as any to start. I pulled out my laptop, hoping the words would come.
I checked my email before I got started, and saw there was a message from my assistant, Lydia.
“Catherine, I’ve begun verifying the information you sent me about The Lennon Foundation’s charity contributions. I’ve called three of the recipients on the list, and the amounts aren’t matching up. According to them, The Lennon Foundation has only donated $500 to each of them, not the millions listed. It’s a large discrepancy, so I thought I’d give you a heads-up right away. I will check the rest and get back to you.”
“Let me know right away,” I replied, staring out at the clouds we’d ascended above.
That is so weird, I thought, there must be some mistake. I contemplated if I should tell Liam or Ian right away, but since the tension was so thick in the air you could cut in with a knife, I decided to keep my mouth shut until I knew more. Callum probably just sent me the wrong information.
I opened a blank word document and stared at the blinking cursor. Where should I start? What words could ever be accurate enough to describe Liam? I started typing, hoping something would work.
“Liam Mercury is abrasive, arrogant, and stubborn…”…No, that’s not right.
“Charismatic, confident and cocky, Liam Mercury has all the characteristics of your typical rock star…” No, that’s awful, too.
“His cock is even bigger than you’d imagine. When it slides into you, his skillful strokes will make you think you’ve died and gone to heaven…” I swallowed hard, my hands trembling as I remembered the feel of Liam on top of me, moving inside of me, his magical cock putting me under its spell.
I slammed the laptop closed. Maybe later I’d be more inspired.
Although the thought of his cock was very inspiring, I was writing for Rolling Stone, not the Penthouse Forums.
I looked out the window again, and let my thoughts drift away, my mind and body both remembering how it’d felt to have Liam’s hands on me. I wasn’t sure what happened to make him pull away. I wasn’t sure if it would ever happen again.
But I was sure I would never forget it.
* * *
***
* * *
The show in San Francisco went off without a hitch. No violent outbursts. No changed lyrics. No surprising kisses after the show, either. Just a lot of people left loving them even more and wanting them to go on all night long.
Just as well, I thought, as I watched Liam leave the stage and head towards his dressing room.
Rhone and I walked together back to the dressing rooms.
“How’s the story going?” she asked.
“It’s not,” I replied, with a sigh. “Things kind of went awry, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“Liam is a hard nut to crack,” she replied. “You got closer than most women do.”
“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.”
“Yeah, I understand. It’s a compliment, though. I can tell he cares about you, Catherine. Maybe that’s the problem. He doesn’t usually let people under his skin.”
“I was beginning to think he did, but his behavior the last twenty-four hours begs to differ.”
“Hang in there. Maybe he’ll come around. He’s a moody bastard, just like his brother.”
“How do you live like this?” I asked.
“You get to used to it,” she replied, with a smile. “It’s not so bad. After awhile, the fights don’t faze you. They fight all the time, but they make up just as quickly. They’ve been like this all their lives. And I guess the other bandmates have gotten used to it over the years, too. Although, I’ve never seen Liam hit anyone, so that was a surprise last night.”
“I have no idea why he did that,” I replied. “Did he tell Ian?”
“You don’t know?” she asked.
“No…”
“He did it because he was jealous. He saw Rocket touch you, he was drunk, and he freaked out.”
“Oh, god. Because of me? I feel awful,” I replied, my stomach sinking.
“Don’t. Rocket can take it. Liam’s hand got the worst of it anyway. And you should take it as a compliment. I’ve seen Rocket and Liam pass women around like a joint. Liam never gets jealous. His reaction last night means he really likes you.”
“Lovely,” I replied, my voice laced with sarcasm. “Next he’ll be pulling my hair.”
I blushed as I said that, remember he already had.
* * *
***
* * *
Back at the hotel, the party was a little more subdued than the night before. Liam was nowhere in sight, however. I wandered through the suite looking for him, and then decided to go to his room. I couldn’t take the silence anymore.
When he opened the door, he was fresh out of the shower. His hair was wet, and he wore nothing but boxers. I suppressed a groan and smiled.
“Hey, can we talk?” I asked. He nodded and gestured for me to come inside.
I sat down on his bed, and looked up at him.
Fuck, I wish he wasn’t naked. My heart beat wildly as he towered over me.