ened she did make a few friends but never let any close enough to reveal her circumstances. Nor did her parents do anything to prove the stories untrue. That had hurt the most.
‘I was thinking of you,’ Kristof said, looking at her as though he were inside her head, seeing all her thoughts. ‘You could get hurt in all this. There’s a big heart in there.’ He gently tapped her breastbone.
‘I know how to look after myself.’ Surely he couldn’t see the hurt she’d fled from in the past. No, that was buried so deep it was invisible. Yet Alesha couldn’t help wondering if he did understand that she’d been hurt because he had too. She’d like to talk to him about that, get to know a little more about what made him tick, but those weren’t the rules of a fling. Certainly not theirs. So drawing in a breath, she eyeballed him. ‘Are we flinging tonight?’
The surgeon face disappeared in a wide smile. ‘Oh, yeah. After I’ve taken you to dinner at one of the best restaurants in town. Not the best in food—though it won’t be a dog’s dinner either—but in location. It’s on the coast where you can watch the lights coming on as darkness falls and feel as if you’re in a dream world. It’s magic.’
Who else had he taken there in the past? The green-eyed monster raised its head and she shuddered. The thought was unbecoming of her and their fling, and took effort to banish. ‘Bring it on,’ she said far more cheerily than she felt. This sudden sense of being just another notch for Kristof cooled her ardour. Then reality clicked into place. She hadn’t had any expectations of Kristof other than to have fun with him for a few days. He owed her nothing, as she didn’t him. ‘It is our last night together.’
‘Yes, Alesha, it is. And what a week it’s been.’ His finger now caressed her jawline, his eyes unreadable, and his face reverting to professional mode. ‘I’d better get back to my patients. I’ll see you at the usual time.’
But he didn’t rush away, hovered, that finger stilled on her chin, those eyes wary but watchful.
When Alesha was around this man her heart always thudded unusually hard. As though he could become something special. Or was already beginning to. But she had a track record of failed relationships, and this one wasn’t being given the chance to become one of those. This one had a finite end date. Tonight being it. It’d be the first time she’d walk away without that sucker-punched feeling in her tummy, because she’d agreed to the terms, had wanted them. This time she’d been in control of her emotions, and hadn’t fallen even halfway in love—hadn’t even come close to wanting to. Yet she was going to miss Kristof more than any man she’d known. There was something genuine about him. He was loyal, had integrity, was fun. A load more things she’d appreciated, and liked in a person. Wanted, even. But more than that, she cared about him, would like to see more of him because she enjoyed his company. That wasn’t love. That was too ordinary for love. Wasn’t it?
With a little shake of her head, she stepped away from that beguiling touch. ‘See you at six. I’ve got an island to visit.’
The sea was blue and she could see all the way to the bottom where tiny fish darted back and forth impervious to the boatload of tourists above them. The sky was clear and blue with not a breath of wind to jimmy up clouds. The air was hot as though they were already into full-blown summer. The coastline was beautiful, magical, and she couldn’t take her eyes off the hills and brightly painted houses and the boats tied up at wharves.
She didn’t want to go back to London in the morning. Back to a life without her fling partner. Except if she stayed on here Kristof wouldn’t be around anyway. He was heading to London too. Different flights, different times, same destination. From now on London wasn’t going to feel the same big city where she never intended putting down roots. Now there was a man living there whose company she adored. A man she’d enjoy hanging out with in their respective spare time. Not a man to get close to, or to share her fears and needs with. She’d done that in the past and had them thrown back in her face. She’d hate Kristof doing that more than anyone before, so she wasn’t giving him the opportunity.
The boat nudged the wharf, bringing her out of her reveries. Time to go back to the apartment and get ready for the night ahead. The last night with Kristof, because tomorrow, despite all the thoughts whirling around her head, they were going their separate ways. The finish of their fling, of anything between them. End of getting to know each other. As she’d accepted from the beginning, and as she knew was still the right thing to do, because at the conclusion of any relationship they had she’d still wind up alone, and possibly in this case far more hurt than ever before. Best to get out while unscathed, and happy to have known Kristof without the baggage. Except a part of her still wanted to know what made him tick, what was responsible for those deep, dark looks that sometimes filled his eyes, tightened his face into serious responsibility. If she wasn’t careful, she’d be wanting to help him move beyond whatever ate him up on the inside.
So, one more night. Go, get ready and make the most of it. Tomorrow was another day.
But as for going back to London tomorrow, where she had nothing planned to fill in the coming three weeks?
Alesha veered away from going up the hill and headed in the direction of the children’s centre again to ask Antonija, ‘If I stayed on for a little while would I be of use to you around here?’
‘Tell me why you want to do this?’
Expecting Antonija to simply say yes, Alesha dug for a simple answer. ‘If you think I could harm Capeka, then I withdraw my offer.’
Shrewd eyes studied her. ‘Is this about you?’
Too shrewd. But she had a new approach to life, remember? ‘I could return to London, drive through south England, hang out in cafés and bars. Or I can be useful.’ She paused. ‘And I believe this is the right thing for me at the moment. I need to know where I’m headed in the future.’
‘Enjoy the weekend and join us on Monday.’ Welcoming arms wrapped her up in a hug. ‘And thank you.’
‘No, thank you.’
And thank you, Kristof, for showing there are other ways to form relationships of all kinds.
Those couldn’t be tears threatening. She didn’t do crying.
* * *
The restaurant was intimate and stylish. Alesha looked around and felt a pang of longing. Not for the wealth that went with dining in a place like this, but for the week she’d had. Raising her glass to Kristof, she said, ‘Thank you for a wonderful few days. You’ve really made my holiday.’
Worry rose in his face. ‘Tomorrow you go back to reality. You’ll be all right?’
Yes, she would, again thanks to Kristof. Maybe she should give herself a pat on the back for getting out there and not sitting around sulking in the apartment. ‘Relax. I am not going to come knocking on your door in London demanding more attention. I only hope you’ve enjoyed these few days half as much as I have.’
His glass lifted towards her. ‘I have. Thank you back. Not that it’s over just yet.’ His mouth softened into a smile that sent threads of warmth right down to her toes.
‘Thank goodness.’ She grinned back. Another night of passion to top off the week was exactly what she required. Who’d have thought on Saturday that she’d be feeling so relaxed and happy? Certainly not her. It seemed being strong and not getting involved suited her after all. ‘I’m not going back to London tomorrow. I hadn’t made any fixed plans to fill in the weeks other than apply for jobs through the agency, and now that’s sorted with a six-month position on a paediatric ward starting in three weeks.’ She grinned. ‘I had a video interview with the recruitment officer at the hospital yesterday and got an email this morning saying the job is mine.’
He tapped the rim of her glass with his. ‘Congratulations. You never mentioned anything about this.’
‘Didn’t want to jinx my chances. Anyway, I got to thinking about what I’d do for the weeks in between and suddenly it all seems ridiculous bummin
g around visiting places, wasting time, when I could be making myself useful.’
One black eyebrow rose. ‘Next you’ll be signing up for a permanent job somewhere.’
Alesha sipped her wine before nodding. ‘You know what? That wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’ve been drifting too long, looking for something to come along I might like when in fact I probably should settle and turn my life into what I want it to be. In other words, I need to stop relying on other people to set the standard.’
The serious face was slipping into place. ‘Is that why you weren’t broken-hearted when Luke pulled the plug?’
‘I was never in love with him, desperately or otherwise.’ How embarrassing was this? Though putting it out there was like letting a heavy weight go. And letting Kristof know where she stood. ‘I liked him a lot and wanted something more—to have a chance at a future together. At least I thought I did. We seemed compatible, but it could be that wasn’t enough.’
‘And now?’ There was an edge to Kristof’s question she didn’t understand.
Alesha didn’t rush her answer. It needed considered thought. After this week she finally understood she did want to go for the whole love package where she loved and was loved in return, but she didn’t want second best. Did not want to wait for a man to condescend to love her a little bit. Not any more. Staring around the room, she sipped her wine, not really seeing anyone or anything until her gaze came back to Kristof. ‘I’m ready to move on alone, to be the person I want to be without anyone else’s input.’ Then she’d have more to offer to the right man.
His head tilted to the side as he studied her. Then the happy face returned and he grinned. ‘Then let’s finish the week with a bang. We’ll take a bottle of your favourite champagne back to the apartment and sit by the pool watching the city below before I take you to your bed for one last night of pleasure.’