‘Wait. I haven’t finished. What the pregnancy’s done is wake up my maternal needs and, yes, one day I do want more children, a family unit with a man, not only Rosie and me. She needs siblings and a dad too. The only new thing is I’m admitting it.’
I want to love a man, to be loved. To share a home, a life with him.
But now she’d well and truly scared Nixon off—if he’d even been at the starter’s block, and with his hang-ups that was unlikely. ‘Out-of-whack emotions and all, it’s time to start living in a way I haven’t for years. My life is no longer on hold.’ That was enough. She’d raved on too much.
‘Good for you.’ He was silent after that, and for once she accepted it was Nixon’s way of dealing with a load of information.
She’d put herself out there; better he think it through than make an impulsive decision that he later regretted. They were close to town now. Just ahead was the café she frequented when she had time for coffee and cake. ‘Drop me off here. There’s something I need to get for Rosie.’
He pulled into the kerb. ‘We’ve done it again, finished a fun time with disagreement.’
Our way of putting up the shutters?
Was she also a scaredy-cat? Afraid to grab what she wanted and run with it, take a risk with her heart? But she’d initiated that kiss. That was a risk. Or would’ve been if she’d actually considered what she was doing before she did it. Was she really ready for a relationship? Had the past finally gone? Just because she rarely had the nightmares any more, did that mean she was free to start over? Would she be able to relate to Nixon without looking over her shoulder?
Out of the four-wheel drive, she leaned in the door to eyeball Nixon. ‘Not a disagreement, more like we’re testing each other, digging for information and feelings. We’re new at this. If I’ve upset you then I’m sorry. Thank you again for an amazing experience. I’ll see you on Monday, and we won’t go round with long faces.’ Where did all this come from? She didn’t do strong and forceful. Except finally she was done with meek and mild. Look where that had got her in the past. ‘Please,’ she added softly, far more like her.
‘It’s a deal.’
The best she was going to get today. ‘See you.’ She closed the door softly, not wanting to put him on edge again. Ducking around a group of German tourists, she headed for the book shop and a present for Rosie to take to the street Christmas party tomorrow. Might even grab that coffee and cake for herself. Would not think about a certain man and how well he kissed. No, damn it. Every sweet, hot, delicious moment and sensation was right there at the front of her mind. Why did he have to be so good when he wasn’t going to follow up with another one?
CHAPTER NINE
‘SOMEONE TO SEE YOU.’ Abbie nudged her none too gently.
Emma looked around the throng of neighbours filling the front lawns of adjoining properties where they lived for the street Christmas party, not seeing anyone wanting her in particular.
‘Talking to Callum. Tall, dark hair, not a street resident.’
Nixon. Her heart began its now familiar thumping. ‘What’s he doing here?’
‘Umm.’ Abbie scratched her chin. ‘Could he be here to see my neighbour?’
‘I guess.’ Yesterday he’d said he’d see her Monday, not today. Had he missed her as much as she him?
‘Grab him.’ As Emma began to shake her head her nagging friend grinned wickedly. ‘You know you want to.’
She sure did. Could be he liked random kisses after all. ‘You don’t know what you’re suggesting.’ Because she didn’t believe she could keep her hands to herself around Nixon any more. Her gazed drifted to Rosie playing soccer with the other youngsters.
‘I’ve got her.’ Abbie nudged again. ‘She’ll be fine.’
She’d go to get away from that annoying elbow if nothing else. Moving fast, but not quick enough to look desperate, she headed towards Nixon, caught up with him as he turned in her direction. ‘This is a surprise.’
‘A good one, I hope.’
He wasn’t sure of his welcome? Emma slipped an arm through his. ‘I’m thrilled you came. Hope you’re not put off by the crowd.’
‘Not at all.’ Nixon tossed his keys up and down, up and down, his eyes mostly focused on her, big thinking going on behind that gaze. ‘I dropped by for a coffee, and to see if you needed a hand getting a tree to decorate.’
So he wasn’t avoiding the kiss. Or her spiel about where she was at now. ‘All done. Come and join in.’
He hesitated. ‘We get offside with each other too easily.’
‘Then we get on just fine again.’
‘Which suggests we both have defining lines we’re not prepared to step over.’ Yet. Maybe never. Or possibly sometime in the future. One thing abundantly clear was she wanted to find out, to explore whatever it was between them that had her blood thickening and hope expanding in her chest.
He shoved the keys into his back pocket, took her hand in his as they started walking back to where Abbie sat with Grace. ‘What’s with the party?’
‘Christmas. It’s an annual event. We have a barbecue and the kids get presents after their game of soccer. It brings the street together.’ The whole of December was about Christmas functions. ‘Rosie is excited beyond reason, especially now she’s got a tree. Every morning she asks if Santa’s coming today. I’ll almost be glad when it’s over. Almost.’
‘I can picture her on Christmas morning. There’ll be no holding her back.’ But it was her Nixon was gazing at, his eyes bright. His smile sent ripples of desire caressing her in places that hadn’t been touched in ages. So that kiss hadn’t been a failure. It had ramped things up, and she wanted to do it again. As she had time and again throughout the sleepless night.
‘Is Rosie playing soccer?’
‘You have to ask?’ Emma relaxed into his side, holding her breath until he stayed with her, didn’t step away.
‘Not really.’ His full-wattage smile further lit up her insides, and sent another twist of desire curling through her body and downward to that special place. ‘About yesterday…’
She held her breath.
‘I had a lot of fun. I’m hoping we can have some more.’
‘You’re on, starting now. There’s cold beer in the chilly bins
.’
‘Way to a man’s heart.’
‘Cheapskate.’
His arm tensed as he drew a sharp breath. ‘Just so you know, that kiss was out of this world. I pulled back because I was losing control and I hate that more than just about anything.’
Best answer yet to all the questions buzzing in her head. They might be all over the place but she’d take this as a step forward, another kink in his armoury ironed out. They would be having more fun together. ‘Let’s party.’
‘Nixon,’ shrieked Rosie as she looked up from dribbling the ball towards the goalposts made of cardboard boxes, immediately losing concentration and the ball to the boy running beside her. ‘You came.’
‘Yes, kiddo, I did.’
‘You can be my daddy partner.’
Emma froze. Awkward. The man would be gone any second. She glanced at him from under lowered eyebrows. Saw him jerk, then shrug.
‘Okay. What do you want me to do?’
Pardon? This was Nixon? The man who’d pulled away from that kiss as if he’d disturbed a nest of angry wasps? Her eyebrows rose as she studied him. Yep, definitely the man she’d fantasised about all night.
‘Get the ball and give it to me,’ Rosie instructed, jumping up and down with glee.
Don’t let my girl down, please.
Despite what he’d just said, he’d soon realise he’d had a brain fade and forgotten he didn’t do personal. Emma’s lungs started aching with the breath stalled in there. Forcing it out, she aimed for normal—if normal meant racing blood, thumping heart and disbelief as he said to her, ‘Put a hold on the beer.’ Then he jogged across to the kids and men—fathers—to join Rosie.
‘She’s too damned sassy for a kid her age,’ Emma muttered as she rejoined Abbie, who hadn’t missed a word of that exchange.
‘Nixon looks relaxed about it all.’ Abbie grinned her infuriating grin.
‘Since Grace was born you’ve become this annoying smug—yes, smug—person. Well, can it. Bring back my old friend who understood where I was at in my life and left me to get on with it quietly.’ Emma wheezed out the last sentence as lack of oxygen from not breathing throughout that tirade caught up with her.