She needed to withdraw and regroup. To find a backbone and remain impervious to his charm, friendship and all the things she knew he could be. Loving, sexy, fun, caring...
CHAPTER FIVE
TORI CHARGED OUT of the hotel and through the door held open by the doorman. ‘Merci,’ she acknowledged, and took a breath of fresh air.
It had become claustrophobic inside. Hundreds of conference attendees seemed to be pushing against her, taking her air, deafening her with their incessant chatter.
‘Madame Wells, are you all right?’ Monsieur Leclare was beside her.
‘Oui. It’s very warm inside and I needed to get some air. That’s all.’ No way could she tell this kind man she was about to bolt from his conference and go AWOL.
‘You’ve been listening to the panel, no?’
She nodded. ‘It was excellent.’
‘And yet you are flustered. I think you need time away from all these people.’
Exactly. One in particular. But she wasn’t telling Luc that. ‘I thought I’d take a short break outside while everyone’s having coffee.’
‘Non, non. I have an idea. Take a few hours off. You’re in Europe, you must see some of the sights.’ Before she could agree and tell him she already had plans to study the map and see where she could go to get away from any chance of bumping into Ben, he snapped his fingers at the concierge.
Tori couldn’t keep up with his rapid French, and there obviously wouldn’t be any chance of her having a say on where she was going so she gave in and waited with interest to see how the rest of her day transpired. This was exactly what she needed—a distraction from Benji. Ben. When would she stop thinking Benji?
Less than an hour later Tori found her seat in the train carriage her taxi driver had led her to. Sinking into it, she looked around at her fellow passengers. Tourists hauling heavy backpacks, local women with their shopping bags, elderly couples on an outing. This was one of the regular runs down the coast to the border with Italy, and she had a return ticket for today. Understanding most of what was being spoken was near impossible so she let the talk flow over her, like she was in a cocoon where nothing could touch her. Right now she wanted to absorb France, not stress about anything.
As the train pulled out of the station she turned her focus onto the buildings they passed, let the tension ease out of her muscles. Years back she’d have downed a couple of glasses of wine to dispel her anxieties. Not any more. Not after losing her baby because of her drinking. Admittedly it had taken more than two glasses to relax her with all that had been going down at the time, but she felt sure the alcohol had cost her baby’s life.
Don’t go there. Not today. Please.
Her gaze followed the unfolding scenery. The farther from Nice central the more apartments came into view. Washing hung from balconies, bright flowering geraniums in pots decorated every available space. And between the buildings the bright blue of the sparkling Mediterranean. Then around a corner and houses clustered on the hillside, yellow and orange and red stone buildings tucked hard up against each other. Just like the pictures in the travel brochures, only more colourful, more vibrant and beautiful.
The next corner and the sea again, yachts of every size and shape bobbing gently in the current. A cruise ship took up a large portion of the picture, motorboats speeding to and from it.
Tori sat absorbing everything, letting her mind take a break, enjoying being in France. She snapped her camera far too many times, zooming in and out, sometimes finally getting the right frame only to have the train pass a power pole or tree as she pressed the button. The tension eased right back, her stomach stopped its ping-pong game, and she began to relax and put everything aside—for now.
At Ventimiglia, on the Italian border, she got off and went for a walk, had coffee and pizza and visited a market where she bought knick-knacks to take home. When she finally took the train back to Nice she was ready to face dinner with Ben and his friends.
* * *
‘Where did you get to today?’ Ben asked as they strolled through the old part of Nice to the restaurant Rita and John had chosen.
‘Italy.’ She smiled as three pairs of surprised eyes looked at her. ‘I took the train along the coast, past Monaco, down to the border.’
‘Had enough of the conference?’ Rita asked, with a knowing glint in her look.
She winced. ‘I know I shouldn’t have gone away but, hey, when am I going to get back here again?’ She wouldn’t apologise, and she wouldn’t allow that disappointed look in Ben’s eyes to deflect her. This was her trip, and she had needed to step away from him. Anyway, she’d gone with Luc’s blessing. What’s more, it had worked. She was so much more relaxed and in control of her emotions since that train ride.
Rita shook her head. ‘Fair enough. You obviously had a lovely time. You seem refreshed, if that’s the word.’
John was watching her but didn’t say anything. Thank goodness. Was he wondering if their conversation that morning had led to her taking the day off?
Time to change the subject. Tori tipped her head back to stare up at the building to their left. ‘Aren’t these amazing?’ The stone walls were so old. History screamed at her. New Zealand was an enfant compared to Europe. At windows and narrow doors, meticulously worked wrought-iron balustrades made her mouth water. ‘We’ve got nothing like this at home.’
Ben nodded. ‘I like it that most buildings are not very high. The narrow streets don’t feel closed in or as cool as they do in cities with high-rises.’ He’d been a little cool himself since they’d met up in the hotel foyer half an hour ago. Probably having doubts about spending too much time with her.
‘Here’s the restaurant.’ John indicated a group of tables and chairs ahead of them.
‘Outdoor dining, perfect,’ Tori said. ‘Thanks for inviting me along.’ This would be fun, and far better than eating on her own. As long as she kept relaxed and didn’t let Ben dominate her mind.
Rita hugged her. ‘You’re welcome. Now, let’s have fun.’
With great company and food, how could they not? As Tori sat on the chair Ben pulled out for her she sniffed the air. ‘Garlic. Naturally.’
‘Onions, seafood and oranges.’ Ben
nodded and seemed to be struggling not to smile. ‘Are you ordering in French or English this time?’
‘Definitely English. When I make up my mind what I’m eating I want to be sure I get it.’ She turned to give him the once-over. ‘You’re as excited as I am.’
‘You bet. Wait until we get to Paris.’ His smile finally appeared.
Her stomach crunched. Paris. They weren’t going together, but they would catch up at the medical school. Paris. Alone. Damn Ben. Why had he mentioned it? ‘I’m looking forward to exploring the city.’
Ben tapped his fingers on her hand. ‘Want to see the Eiffel Tower at night?’ His gaze locked on hers.
‘Of course.’
‘With me?’
‘Of course,’ she answered before she could overthink his invitation. So much for remaining aloof, but Paris on her own wouldn’t be half the fun as sharing the sights with Ben would be.
His smile widened. ‘It’s a date.’
A date? With her ex? As she sucked air into her lungs she met Rita’s caring look and saw her nod. She’d already got the message that John thought she should be trying harder with Ben. Were they ganging up on her? Trying to undermine her determination to keep things between her and Ben ticking along in a friendly way—as in not in love? As her lungs pushed out air she said, ‘It’s a date.’ The only one she’d have with Ben, but since she’d agreed, she was going to enjoy every minute of it, and to heck with her heart’s relentless pounding.
She squashed down on the flicker of hope that there might be something in the future for her and Ben. She couldn’t afford to hang her heart on that fragile wish. But...
What did I just do? Ben leaned back in his chair and stared at the menu in his hand. He didn’t care what he ate any more. He shouldn’t have invited Tori to go to the tower with him. How was that remaining remote and keeping his emotions in order?