Tori said softly, ‘Let’s go.’ Then she waited for him to take the first step.
A move that seemed to take minutes to eventuate. Finally he took a step, brought her close, tucked her against him, his arm around her shoulders, and led her out into the warm night air.
They didn’t talk all the way to their turning point. Once there Tori sank down onto a bench and tugged her shoes off. ‘These are killing me.’
‘I’m not surprised.’ The heels were unbelievably high. He joined her, leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him.
‘You don’t swagger like you used to.’ She was grinning at him. To soften the blow? Or to lighten their mood?
Unfortunately, her comment wasn’t funny. ‘That got knocked out of me.’
Her grin died. ‘Tell me about the hearing.’
The air whooshed out of his lungs. He was on his feet in an instant, slamming his hand through his hair. He spun around hard, stared down at her. ‘You didn’t come. I wanted you there.’ Needed you with me. Needed to know you’d stand by me no matter what the outcome. ‘Even when I didn’t want you to know the truth about my error of judgement.’
‘You insisted I stay away.’
‘You were meant to see through that and come anyway.’ He’d tried to have this discussion back then but hadn’t been able to find the words without dumping too much of his shock and resentment at what had happened onto her.
Tori nodded. ‘I thought as much.’ She stared out to sea, her fingers twisting the bracelet she wore. ‘I arrived late. I’d been in Theatre and the operation ran overtime.’
‘So you did turn up. I never knew that.’ They hadn’t done a lot of talking in the following weeks when he’d been on stand-down from the hospital and dealing with the hearing, and virtually none at all after he’d packed his bags and walked out of the apartment nearly three months later.
‘I tried to tell you, but...’
Tori didn’t have to finish that sentence. He’d been intent on keeping his distance to save from telling her what a fool he’d been.
She shrugged, not looking at him. ‘By the time I got there the door was shut and I wasn’t allowed in.’
‘It was a closed session with the hospital board chairman, the ethics committee chairperson and the heads of two other departments.’ Not the head of his department. Dad had been furious at being cut from the hearing, too. He’d wanted to manipulate the outcome so his son came out without a blemish.
‘So I wouldn’t have been allowed to sit in on proceedings.’
‘No, but I wanted you there.’ He’d have been pleased if he’d known she’d been outside, waiting for him. Except she hadn’t waited, had been nowhere in sight when he’d finally come out, many hours later, a changed man. He’d wondered if she hadn’t loved him enough to be there for him. What else had he got wrong?
‘I sat outside for most of the day, then got called into surgery at the wrong time.’
Ben grimaced. ‘I didn’t know that, either.’ Not that anyone would’ve told him. He’d become persona non grata by then. Except Tori should’ve told him. But they had already been shutting off from each other.
Tori looked over, her gaze contrite. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Thanks.’ He wanted to ask why she’d thought he was guilty when she hadn’t had the facts, but he also didn’t want to have her withdraw from him right now. Of course she knew now what had happened. Everyone did. It was on record. But he hadn’t had the guts to tell her first.
Tori reached for his hand, shuffled closer and didn’t let go of him. ‘I am glad the hearing was open-minded and allowed that mistakes do happen.’
‘So am I.’ He couldn’t imagine what he’d be doing now if he’d been struck off the register. ‘I wouldn’t have made a good waiter.’
Her smile was soft and caring, her thumb caressing the back of his hand. ‘You’d be great at it, but what a waste.’
‘You say the nicest things.’ He squeezed her hand and stood up. ‘It’s cooling down and you just shivered. We’d better make tracks. Barefoot?’
‘Until I reach the hotel anyway.’ Tori was quiet all the way back. At the hotel entrance she slipped into her shoes before turning to him. ‘I’m glad it worked out for you. I’m very sorry the outcome wasn’t the same for us.’ Then she was gone, her skirt swirling around her legs as she raced inside and headed for the elevators. So am I, Tori, love. So am I. Ben watched until the doors slid shut behind her. But what’s done is done.
He crossed the reception area, heading for the bar. A nightcap was needed.
CHAPTER FOUR
JEFFERY WELLS STOOD close to Tori, leaning over her. ‘Talk some sense into Ben. He needs me to get him through this fiasco so he can come out clean.’
She glared at her father-in-law. ‘Don’t you think this is Ben’s decision to make?’
‘You want him to ruin his career?’ Jeffery slammed back at her.
‘That’s not what I said.’
‘Of course not. You think Ben should take the rap for someone else’s irresponsible behaviour.’
‘But Benji—’ If Benji wasn’t responsible for the woman’s death, then who was?
Anger and pain sliced through Tori. She rolled over and blinked her eyes open. ‘Ben?’
She reached her arm across the wide bed. He wasn’t there. He’d be sitting in the lounge, as usual, staring into space.
Tori sat up, startled at how dark the room was. Fumbling at the bedside table, she found the light switch. Soft light spilled into the room. The hotel room in Nice. Not her bedroom back in the apartment.
She’d had a nightmare. A very graphic one with all the details there in vivid colour. Jeffery had been real. The way he’d tried to dominate her by standing over her had been true to form. His harsh words had battered her, as they had that night he’d bowled into the apartment to tell her what she should be doing with Ben, and made her shudder even now she understood she’d been dreaming. Her father-in-law had hated her for standing up to him.
Tossing aside the cover, she leapt out of bed and crossed to haul the heavy curtains open. Then she took a bottle of water from the small fridge and, snapping the lid off, glugged the water straight down.
It hadn’t been her place to tell Ben what to do. He’d had to make his own decisions about his future, but she’d have talked it through with him anytime he’d wanted. If she’d told Benji his father had pressured her, the chances were that Benji would’ve shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘That’s just Dad’s way.’
Sure it was. ‘Dad’s way’ had been to rule with an iron will and woe betide anyone who dared to challenge him. Ben adored his father and had spent his life trying to make him proud. It had been like an endless mountain with each achievement shrugged away with the demand for the next goal to be set.
Jeffery’s demands of her that day had been pointless. Ben hadn’t talked to her. Not about the death of his patient anyway. Heck, by then he’d barely asked if the power bill had been paid any more. It seemed their marriage had been about the good times, and that they hadn’t had a clue on handling the bad ones.
Sitting by the window, her legs tucked under her backside, Tori gazed out at the sea, and closer in the promenade, which was devoid of people. Four o’clock. Too early and too dark to go for a brisk walk that’d clear her head.
Was Ben sound asleep? Sprawled on his back, taking up most of the bed, like he always had? Or had he learned to lie on one side?
Oh, Ben, I loved you so much. We had it all. Or so we thought.
Why had it gone so wrong? They could blame the death of Ben’s patient, but if their love had been as strong as she’d believed it to be, they’d have found a way to deal with that. She’d naively thought that if she loved Ben enough they’d never have insurmountable problems, that love conqu
ered everything.
How did other couples cope? Her mother had never remarried after Dad had been killed so she’d not seen first-hand how Mum might’ve dealt with a crisis in her relationship. Ben’s parents had always appeared to have a strong marriage with no hint of dissension, but his mother had tended to take a compliant role.
Last night, talking with Ben, had felt almost like old times. Almost. At the back of her mind a little niggle had kept her aware of how untrue that was, but when he’d wrapped his arm around her shoulders to walk her back to the hotel she’d come close to believing the past had been a nightmare that she’d finally woken up from.
Ben. Benji. Her heart tightened. It was like she hadn’t got over him at all. Almost as though she would walk back into her marriage without a backward glance given half a chance.
No way. She’d never go through all that agony again. Watching Ben walk out their front door for the last time had decimated her. It had been as though he’d taken a sledgehammer and pummelled her heart flat.
She leapt up to prowl around the room, looking for a distraction. Her phone lay on the bedside table. Snatching it up, she checked for texts and emails. No texts. Nine emails, mostly from work. Good. They’d keep her busy. And her mind off Ben.