‘The question is what do you want of me? When you knew you had to tell me about the baby, what were you expecting? A cash handout? A home? Me to walk away? To stay and support you? What?’
The truth and only the truth. Not that she’d worked everything out, but she would start as of now. ‘Firstly, your support.’ She drew a tick in the air. ‘Got it in spades.’
‘Yes, you have.’
‘Secondly, that you’ll always be there for your child, that he’d grow up knowing you, having you in his life for real and not a phone call or email away.’
‘You even doubted that?’ he growled.
‘A little.’ His face didn’t lighten up. ‘How was I to know? You were planning on moving to Australia, often commented about how settling down wasn’t for you when others at work talked about buying a house or moving in with a partner. I didn’t know why you move around. Now I wonder if you’re aware of what you’re getting into, how it’s going to cramp your style.’
‘I applied for that position in Sydney because I was starting to feel close to you. I had to put space between us, forget you.’
This guy was good at curve balls. She waited for her heart to stop the tap dance it was doing before saying, ‘So you’re open to settling down somewhere.’ She wouldn’t delve into what else he’d implied. Too tricky when she was trying to be level-headed.
‘Yes. Believe me when I say I take this seriously and my son or daughter will always be a major part of my life, regardless of what you and I decide to do about a relationship.’
Her forefinger traced another tick. ‘Thank you.’
Shifting his butt and draping his arm over the back of the chair, Conor nodded. ‘Carry on.’
‘I’d like the happy family scene if at all possible. I grew up safe and happy. Dad adored me, spoilt me rotten. Not so sure about my mum, though.’
Mum, you need to know I’m pregnant. There are so many things I want to tell you. Neither should you miss out on anything to do with your grandchild.
Conor nodded. ‘Family is most important. Losing my dad was horrific, and I was a lost wee soul until the man who became my stepdad came along.’
‘How do we make it work? It’s not like we’re in a relationship already.’ They barely knew each other outside work and bed.
Now he locked his gaze on her. ‘Look at how we’re dealing with this. We know each other professionally, got on very well the night we spent at my apartment and the world didn’t implode when you told me about the pregnancy. I reckon we’re off to a better start than some.’
‘You make it sound straightforward.’ The warning bells were tolling. Was she being sucked in again?
‘I don’t mean to, and yet in a way I do.’ He pushed his now empty plate aside, and reached for her hand. ‘I want this, Tamara. More than anything. You, me and the baby. I’ve been given an opportunity I never believed I’d have, and I want to make certain we get it right. It’s a chance for something special I don’t want to stuff up or lose.’
Couldn’t be more blunt than that. This was about the baby and how to jointly make it work. Not about them and love and any of those crazy things. Which was fine, considering she couldn’t trust her heart either. ‘Sydney or Auckland?’ she asked.
Conor looked a little shocked. No doubt the enormity of what they’d agreed to was only beginning to sink in. ‘Leave that to me for now.’
Those alarm bells clanged harder. ‘A partnership, remember? You can’t cut me out of any decisions that involve me or the baby.’
He winced. ‘It’s a work in progress, okay?’
‘Not good enough.’
‘You have to believe I’ll do the right thing by all of us, Tamara.’
‘The thing is...’ Oh, grow up. Take responsibility. Give the guy a break. He hadn’t put a foot wrong yet, but he also hadn’t made it easy for her about everything. ‘I do. Just don’t exclude me from decisions, okay?’
CHAPTER EIGHT
CONOR BLINKED, THEN stared at the apparition walking into the department.
Tamara in fitted scrubs. Scrubs that showcased the perfect figure wearing them. Wow. She looked stunning.
Down, boyo. You’re at work.
True. And if Tam knew what was in his mind she’d do the aloof thing all morning. But... A guy was allowed to dream, wasn’t he? It was the end of the week, and who knew what they might get up to in the weekend? ‘Morning, Tam.’
She didn’t even bite. Just tightened her hands into fists as she walked towards him. ‘Hi.’
Make-up. Her face was always beautiful. Today he was all out of words. Those deep brown eyes, accentuated with mascara and some other coloured goo, were bigger, brighter, more fall-into-them-looking. Her peaky cheeks had colour, her lips... How could he not have been aware they were so full? So luscious? It was going to be a very long day.
Tam came around the end of the counter and stood in front of him. ‘You still on for four o’clock?’
Blink. ‘Of course I am,’ he snapped. ‘Like I’d bail.’
‘I was thinking more that you might have to stay back to do paperwork or something.’
At the end of most days he usually put in an hour behind his desk, trying to placate the paper gods upstairs. ‘Not today. Our—’
She cut him off with a warning nod to the side. ‘Morning, guys.’
The day crew had arrived all together. ‘Later.’ He gave Tam a curt nod. Damn but she looked beyond beautiful. Not even her permanent exhaustion was getting a look in this morning.
A registrar from the previous shift filled them in on patients before heading away.
Conor’s nostrils received a hit of spring flowers. Tamara stood beside him. He breathed deeper, enjoyed the scent, remembered her satin-like skin, and forced his body to behave.
A gentle nudge from Tamara’s elbow.
When he glanced sideways he fell into a huge smile.
An almost imperceptible shake of her head. She knew what he was thinking?
Then Michael stood up. ‘Hope everyone can join me at the local after work. It’s my birthday on Sunday so I’m shouting a few rounds.’
‘Sorry, but I’ve got an appointment at four.’ One he wouldn’t miss for anything. Excitement fizzed in his veins.
‘You can’t change it?’ Michael asked. ‘I know you won’t be drinking
since you’re running that race tomorrow but they sell water.’
‘No can do.’ Conor stared straight ahead, afraid of looking at Tamara in case everyone could read his thoughts.
‘You’re running in the morning?’ Annoyance slapped at him from the woman beside him.
‘A ten k run on the North Shore.’ It had never occurred to him to mention it.
Michael asked, ‘What about you, Tamara?’
‘I’m not running anywhere.’
‘So you’ll be there for drinks.’ Michael laughed.
‘Sorry, but I can’t make it either.’ She sounded as if she’d like to cancel their appointment.
‘You both going to the same thing, by any chance?’ asked one of the older nurses with a hint of laughter in her voice.
He looked at Tamara. Shall we tell them?
She glared at him, then just as abruptly sighed and lifted her head a notch to nod. ‘I guess.’
Reaching for her hand, Conor gave it a little squeeze. He’d had a reprieve and from now on would try harder to include her in everything. ‘Go on.’
Best Tamara told them. She had expressed doubts over this only last night when they’d talked on the phone, but if she was ready then she needed to put it out there, let go of some of the things holding her back.
Her fingers returned his squeeze. ‘We’re going to see a midwife and then I’m having a scan.’
Delighted gasps echoed around the department. Hugs ensued.
‘Congratulations.’ Michael shook his hand. ‘You still should join us afterwards. We can have a double celebration.’