Talk about brutally honest. Her heart sank. He’d hinted at his past and she’d wondered if that might affect how he’d react to this situation. But to not even think about it beyond a few minutes—which surely hadn’t given him time to think of the whole situation, not just his part in it—bowled her flat. ‘You’ve been fantastic with Aimee all week. Playing with her, dressing and feeding her, being endlessly patient. Yet now you’re pulling back from a chance to see if we can make it work.’
Standing, he crossed the room, flicked the curtain open and raised the window so he could lean out, his arms braced wide, his head bowed. ‘I had a hard upbringing. Dad ruled with his fists. What if I’m the same?’
‘Have you ever hit anyone?’ She reckoned she knew the answer already.
‘No.’
Exactly. ‘You’re a strong, tough man, Marshall, but you’re not a hard one. Nothing’s changed. I would trust you with Aimee any day.’
His shoulders stiffened, his back straightened and he turned to look at her. ‘Thank you.’ His gaze locked with hers and it was as though he was searching right inside her. Then, ‘Did you ever want to find me for us? Or was it all about our child?’
Her heart slowed. Where was this going? ‘I watched you walk away in Honolulu and I ached from the need to chase you down the road to beg you to stay in touch, to come and see me when you had the time.’ She swallowed around a lump that suddenly clogged her throat.
‘I knew you didn’t want any long-term relationship but I’d have sold my soul to have another week with you. A month even.’ Her gaze remained fixed on him. ‘So, yes, I wanted to find you. For me. For us. And, heaven knows, I tried. Even when I suspected you’d be angry if I did make contact.’
‘I’d never be angry with you.’
‘You confused me by leaving your email address in my pocket and then having my emails bounce back.’
‘At the time I believed you were better off without me. I still do.’ Marshall slowly leaned back against the window ledge, folded his arms across that expansive chest. ‘But…’ He paused. ‘Those weeks were something special, weren’t they? Wild and crazy, fun and exciting. Yeah, very special.’
‘Is that why you came to see me?’
‘I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. It’s like we haven’t finished what we started. At the end of my last posting I headed home thinking I’d be able to put you into perspective once I was in familiar surroundings and no longer trying to distract myself as I listened to gunfire in the middle of the night.’
‘Didn’t work, huh?’ She tried for a smile, failed badly. ‘So you came for another fling. Or a continuation of the old one.’ The bitterness in her voice disgusted her. She didn’t usually act like this, yet her tongue was like a runaway train. ‘I’m surprised you stayed when you learned I had a child. Hardly the excitement you were looking for.’
Crossing the room, he gripped her elbows and hauled her up off the bed to hold her as his eyes poured out his anger and his hurt. ‘Stop it, Charlie. I don’t deserve that any more than you deserve what’s happened to you. I got a shock when I realised Aimee was mine. Who wouldn’t? But I stayed. I’m still here. And I’ll always be in contact. For Aimee. For you. No matter what the future brings. That’s my promise to you.’
Then he kissed her. Hungrily. As though he hadn’t had a woman for a very long time. As if he’d been waiting for her and the sex they’d just shared hadn’t even begun to fill a void within him. His hands slid over her arms, over her back, her tummy, cupped her breasts.
Pulling her mouth away from his demanding lips, she murmured, ‘I’m sorry. That was selfish of me.’ When he leaned close again she put a finger on his lips. ‘I like the fact you’ll stay in touch. Hopefully, my health will keep improving and we won’t need to revisit this discussion.’ Then she returned to kissing him. She could give him time to take in this latest information. Her heart might be squeezing with anguish at the thought of Marshall leaving but that was nothing new.
As her body cried out its need for his she gave herself up to the moment. Plenty of time to deal with the debilitating pain of letting him go after he’d gone.
CHAPTER TEN
CHARLIE SAT ON the veranda, overseeing Aimee playing in her paddling pool. At the barbecue Marshall was cleaning up after the lunch he’d cooked for them.
‘What are you smiling about?’ He dumped dirty paper towels in the rubbish bin.
‘Just thinking how this time last week Dad told me to stop searching for you and see what the universe brought.’ Her smile widened. ‘Weird.’
‘A troop carrier brought me, not the universe.’ He parked his delectable butt on the top step and tipped his head back to look up at her. ‘But, hey, who’s checking?’
‘I promise not to watch the sky too often after you’ve gone.’ She kept the smile on her face despite the sadness threatening to break through.
His big hand covered her knee. ‘I’ve put all my contact addresses and numbers on your laptop, as you asked. Feel free to call or email any time. I will answer. Might be late if we’re out on patrol, but I’ll get to it as soon as possible.’
‘Thanks.’ It was good to know he’d be contactable. Which had been all she’d wanted—at first. Now, having admitted she loved Marshall, she wished for so much more. But did she really want him here with her if his heart was elsewhere? Yes. No. Not really. She had six days left to enjoy his company. Why waste them being miserable? ‘Shall we take a picnic tea out to Acaia Bay later?’
The hand on her knee squeezed lightly and his eyes lit up. ‘Sounds like a good idea.’ Glancing across at Aimee, he grimaced. ‘She seems full of energy this afternoon. More than usual. Must know I’ve got plans for her mother when she goes to sleep.’
An afternoon in the sack with Marshall. She couldn’t think of a better way to spend the hours. Except Aimee was busy jumping up and down, intent on making the biggest splashes possible. ‘Funny how she seems to know when I want her to go down on time.’
‘If not energy then she’ll run out of water shortly.’ Marshall grinned and leaned up on his elbow to kiss her. ‘I could put a wee hole in the bottom of the pool to hurry things up.’
Her elbow caught him in the shoulder. ‘Shame on you, Marshall Hunter.’
The sound of car doors banging reached her from the other side of the fence. Please, don’t be coming here. Not that she was expecting anyone. Then the gate opened and four people streamed through. ‘Keisha and Toby.’ And their boys. She shivered.
The afternoon had just turned grey.
‘The woman you mentioned with the breast lump?’ Marshall stood and held his hand out to her.
‘Yes. Can’t say I’m too surprised. If I’d got that message I’d want to know what’s going on. But it’s not going to be easy.’ Letting him tug her to her feet, she stepped down to greet the couple trudging up her path. ‘Hey, you’re home.’ She stated the obvious, letting them set the tone for the meeting.
‘Got into Auckland last night and drove down today.’ Toby stood irresolute, one arm around Keisha’s waist. ‘I’m sorry we’ve barged in but…’ His voice petered out.
Reaching a hand out to Keisha, who stood like a rabbit caught in headlights, Charlie said, ‘It’s okay. I understand what you’re going through.’ More than most.
Keisha gripped her hard, nearly breaking the bones in her fingers. ‘Is it…?’ Swallow. ‘Does this mean I’ve got…?’ Another swallow. The word was hard to say, and Charlie knew that once Keisha did utter it then it became all too real.
Charlie looked directly at Keisha. ‘We don’t know what your mammogram means yet. Come inside and we’ll talk.’
Marshall stepped up beside her. Held his hand out to Toby. ‘I’m Marshall Hunter, Charlie’s friend. Want me to keep your boys occupied while you talk with Charlie? There’s a football in the shed.’
Toby shook his hand in return. ‘Would you? That’s good of you. Calib, Zac, this is Mr Hunter. You’re to go with him while Mum and I talk to Dr Lang, okay.’
‘Sure,’ Calib answered. ‘Can Aimee play, too?’
Giving Marshall a grateful peck on the chin, Charlie whispered, ‘Thank you. I owe you.’
‘We’ll make up for lost time tonight,’ he whispered back, and planted a big kiss on her lips. No subtlety, then.
Turning to the upset couple, she indicated that they follow her inside. Keisha’s eyes were on stalks as she agreed. Once inside she gasped, ‘Is he really just a friend? That’d be a waste.’