‘Noah, it’s Angela. Theatre’s ready.’
‘On my way.’ Time to focus completely and utterly on what he was here for.
As he waited impatiently for the lift, he watched Anastasia talking to Jason. The more he learned about Anastasia, the more his interest grew to find out even more. He was attracted to her. And not only physically. Her smiles blinded him. Her laughter lifted his spirits. Her gentleness and care with patients touched him. She was not a Christine, nowhere near close. She was a giver, not a taker. Yet he couldn’t just let go of his hang-ups and dive into a relationship. The past held him back.
What if he never found the kind of all-encompassing love he hoped for? He couldn’t settle for second best. That much he did know. Everything else was up in the air. Except that Anastasia turned him on in a flash. She also brought a lightness to his heart he hadn’t known before. She seemed to understand him without knowing him. She was special. She looked out for her family, shared their pain and happiness.
But was she worth the risk? Would she hurt him? Everyone in a relationship got hurt at some time or other. It went with living together. But deep, long-term hurt was his biggest fear. He’d survived it when his parents had died, though how, he had no idea, except pure grit, which for a ten-year-old seemed abnormal. It probably came from having no one to stick up for him.
Robert certainly hadn’t wanted to hear him cry or talk about how he missed Mum and Dad. His aunt had told him it was natural to feel those things but good people never talked about them. And then there was Christine. He had tried to talk to her about his past and how he’d felt. She hadn’t said anything like his uncle and aunt. No, she hadn’t said a word at all. Had just asked if he’d finished and picked up her book to continue reading. The Ice Queen.
He should’ve seen the warning signs then, but he’d been desperate to love and be loved. Before they were married she’d always managed to avoid that conversation, and he’d let her, not wanting to sound like a man who couldn’t cope with life. Afterwards he’d wanted to tell her so there were no secrets between them. What a success that had been, but at least he’d finally admitted where he stood with her and had started divorce proceedings not long after. Better alone than ignored.
Anastasia tensed suddenly, as though sensing him watching her. Again on the same page.
He stepped into the lift now open before him and went down to work. That was the cure for most things that ailed him. Work meant getting involved with other people’s problems, medical issues. Some were straightforward and had a good ending, some were not. Those were hard to deal with, and often went home with him, waking him in the middle of the night, when he’d think if only he could do more to save these people.
He did all he could, and more, but it would never be enough. Early in his training days he’d learnt to hold himself aloof from others’ misery, not to get involved beyond the facts, but he didn’t always follow his own rules. Partly because it was impossible, partly because it made him feel he was turning into Robert if he did.
Being around Anastasia might be the best thing to happen. Might turn him around and return him to being more like his mum, as he had been when he’d been little. Hard to imagine being that happy-go-lucky person again. Worth trying for, though. Being happy. Cheerful. Looking forward rather than over his shoulder at the past. Loving someone more than life itself. Even if it meant risking his heart.
Something to think about over the coming weeks. First, he’d meet Anastasia after work.
He laughed out loud as he stood in the lift full of staff. ‘Great day, isn’t it?’ he asked in general, and had to bite his tongue at the ensuing silence.
So he was going mad. Bring it on. It felt far better than the serious life he knew all too well.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘I’M AT CONNOR’S CAFÉ.’
Stacey grinned as she did an about-face and strode back the way she’d come to the café she’d passed only minutes earlier. She couldn’t wait to see him. So much for common sense. But for sure, she was not losing control with Noah this time. There was too much at stake. Though she couldn’t fault her actions last time. She’d had a fantastic night, which had resulted in Holly arriving into her life. Excitement filled her at the thought of being with Noah away from work, however briefly.
‘You’re looking lovely,’ said the man dominating most of her thoughts when she walked up to him at a table tucked into the back of the noisy café where people were eating early dinners. Bending close, he kissed her on both cheeks. ‘How are you?’
Worried, nervous, excited. Mostly wound tight with longing. She smiled. ‘Happy.’ Unless—until—everything came tumbling down around her red-tipped feet. Leaning in close, to feel that lithe body against hers. The need to get even closer overtook everything else. Rising on her toes, she locked eyes with Noah and touched her lips to his. Just like three years ago, her inhibitions were blinded around Noah.
Noah kissed her back, this time longer and deeper, sending her world spinning. Finally he pulled away, leaving her hungry for more of him. ‘Your happy disposition is contagious.’ His smile was wry. He took her hand and held out a chair with the other. ‘Coffee’s coming. I also ordered a platter of cheeses and crackers to fill the gap.’
‘Thanks. I’m a bit peckish.’
‘Me too, and dinner’s a way off as I’ve got a patient to check up on later. He haemorrhaged excessively during surgery.’
Fair enough. She didn’t have long to talk to him then. ‘Never good. What were you operating on?’
Noah shook his head. ‘We’re not at work now.’
Nice one. More excitement touched her.
Quieten down, girl.
‘Fair enough.’
So what would they talk about? Holly. That was why she’d come. That, and to be with Noah.
‘Do you ever think about that night?’ Surprise flitted through his expression, as though he couldn’t believe he’d asked.
Well, Noah, neither can I.
It was up front and had her wondering where this was going. Another one-night stand? Did she even want that? The moment she’d seen him on the ward she’d felt all those same exciting sensations she’d felt back then, and something more. A connection that really couldn’t be explained other than it felt right.
The coffees and nibbles arrived.
When the waitress had gone Stacey told Noah truthfully, ‘Yes, I have. Often.’
The surprise lightened. ‘Me, too,’ he admitted. Then, ‘As you were leaving, you said thank you for helping you get on with your life. What was that about?’
Looking into those grey eyes, she found genuine interest, and it gave her a sense of having found a man she could tell her all to. Starting with the truth about her past. ‘A year before that dance I was jilted four days out from my wedding.’ She stared at Noah.
Don’t you dare feel sorry for me, because I no longer do.
‘We’d known each other pretty much all our lives, had been best friends and then fell in love and got engaged. When he ended it I was heartbroken, and couldn’t seem to get on with my life. One of my friends suggested joining them at the dance and I reluctantly agreed. When I left home that night my father said to go out and enjoy myself, let my hair down—’ She stopped when Noah’s mouth twitched. ‘Guess I did that.’
The twitch became a full-blown grin. ‘You did. It was beautiful spread across the pillow.’
She gasped. ‘Sure you should be saying things like that? We’ve only just got reacquainted.’
‘It’s been two days, far longer than last time.’
‘Are you flirting with me?’ That was a turnaround from last time.
‘Should I be?’
Yes, please.
‘Let’s wait and see. I had a wonderful night with you, but it was three years ago and who knows if we’re even on the same page with our lives any more
.’
And there’s something huge to tell you.
‘At least you’re being honest.’ That couldn’t be relief taking over his expression. He’d started this. ‘Something else we have in common,’ he added.
She didn’t have to ask what else he was referring to. It was there in their easy way together. Funny, but she was completely relaxed, even knowing what lay ahead in the next few days. Stacey looked around the packed room, and then back to Noah. Lifting her flat white, she saluted him. ‘I’m glad we’ve finally caught up. I’ve wondered where you were, even who you were. You were like a mystery. No one knew you when I asked around. I started thinking I’d made it all up.’
‘You tried to find me?’
‘I asked everyone from the General Hospital CEO to the janitors. Or close enough. You were a mystery, yet I hadn’t imagined that night. Not a minute of it.’
‘It was real.’ He nodded. ‘I asked my friend if he knew you, and I got the same result.’
‘It seemed wrong to have such a good time and not follow up, though that might’ve spoiled the whole thing.’ She grinned. ‘I was a little tiddly by the time we left the dance.’