He nodded curtly, wincing as he shrugged his shoulder where a small pack hung against his back. Like it hurt having any weight pulling at him.
What had happened? ‘Cole?’ His name slipped across her lips before she could stop it. ‘What—?’
He cut her off. ‘Not now. I’ll wait down the road at the pub.’
Nothing had changed. ‘No. Tell me now.’
He shook his head as though clearing something away. Those piercing eyes she knew so well were filled with a pain she’d never seen before. They locked onto her, sending shivers of excitement right down to her damp toes. Damn him. ‘Vicki, seeing you is the best thing to happen for a long time.’
As she made to stop him saying anything more that might undermine her determination to keep him at a distance she once more had to fight the urge to throw herself at him and hang on tight. As usual he’d deliberately diverted her from her question. Nothing new there.
* * *
Cole held up his hand. ‘Hear me out.’ Then he couldn’t continue. Vicki, his beautiful wife, stood there, the battle going on in her head showing through her eyes and on her face. All he could think was, I love you. Nothing else mattered. He loved Vicki. He always had and always would.
Something like relief floored him. His love hadn’t changed, was as deep, as strong, as ever. Not that there’d been any doubts, but knowing helped, shoved away some of the dread that getting together might make matters worse, not better. Over the days leading up to this moment he’d despaired that they mightn’t talk, wouldn’t resolve anything.
So tell her how you feel.
He opened his mouth. Closed it. Last time he’d said it over the phone she’d gone quiet, then said she had to go and hung up.
He found his voice. ‘We have a lot to sort out, and none of it’s going to be easy, but I’ve missed you badly. More than ever. Seeing you tips me sideways.’ And upside down, all around. He was not giving up without a fight. A hard one. With everything he had.
He’d started and was close to getting a job that involved staying in one place for the foreseeable future, which meant they could buy a house and settle down in Sydney. Try again for a baby. First he owed Vicki an apology. He’d given it more than once over the phone but face to face would go a lot further. She’d see his how genuine he was, not hear it over a bad phone connection.
‘Cole, you’re not making this any easier.’
She was definitely holding back, whereas he’d blurted out how he felt. He didn’t do blurting. His gut churned. She hadn’t reacted positively to being told he’d missed her. Were they really at an impasse? Please, not that. He hadn’t said the three most important words. Should he? Would that break the barriers Vicki was clinging onto? Or would it put her on alert, make her warier than she already was? Because she was fighting to remain cautious. It showed in her rapid blinking, in the way the tip of her tongue poked over her lip.
He had to slow down. ‘We’ve waited months to talk properly. We can wait a little longer. I’d rather be some place with just you, not out front of a medical practice. It feels rather surreal.’
‘You can start by telling me why you’re limping.’
This persistence was new, putting him on alert. He was in for a verbal hiding. And not as prepared as he needed to be. ‘All in good time,’ he said too forcefully, and suffered an unhappy glare coming straight back at him.
* * *
So they’d talk about whatever Cole chose, when he chose. ‘How normal,’ she muttered under her breath. From the moment she had sensed his presence she’d been struggling to stay grounded. Her head pounded in time with her heart. Parts of her body alternated between hot and chilled. This was the man she’d sworn to love for ever. It would be too easy to tell him nothing had changed, and then slip her hand in his and ask him to take her away, to forgive her for standing up for herself. But do that and she gave up everything. She’d go back to fitting in with his choices, ignoring her own. So... Deep breath.
‘You’re right. We will talk later. About everything.’ Turning away, she tried to deny the ache in his eyes, worked hard at pretending this would all work out fine. Because it wouldn’t. Cole loved her. She’d never doubted that. The problem was that it was on his terms, which he didn’t recognise, and so she had to fight for her own.
That moment the rain became a torrent, pouring out of the sky as though a massive bucket had been tipped over the medical centre.
Turning back, she tried not to stare at Cole with hunger, or study the adorable face that followed her to sleep every night; tried to deny the heat unfurling in her belly. ‘You’d better come inside while I finish up. You’ll drown trying to reach the pub.’ Cole was right before her, and she couldn’t leap into his arms for fear of never stepping out of them again. She’d missed him so much it hurt with every breath. Somehow she was managing to hold back, fighting against herself for herself. ‘Come in.’
‘Thanks.’ He stepped up behind her, putting all her senses on alert, making her skin tingle with a familiar need.
Pushing open the door, she quickly stepped inside and surprised herself by smiling. This was a temporary job; filling in for a nurse on her final month of maternity leave. She was in familiar territory, with family and friends to call on when everything got on top of her. Since starting to look into start-up plans, the reality of owning and managing an agency hit hard at unguarded moments. This being strong didn’t come naturally. Doubts crept in. Was it worth giving up her marriage to own a business? She’d lost count of how many times she’d told herself that wasn’t what this was all about, that she was looking out for herself. And Cole, if he accepted what she was doing. Because if she was happier then surely he would be too.
One of the practice doctors approached.
‘Vicki, I’ve been listening in on the emergency frequency. There’s flooding north of the city, nothing major at the moment, but who knows what’ll happen if this rain continues to get heavier over the coming hours, as it’s forecast to do.’ Joe paused and glanced behind her.
She turned to make the introductions. ‘This is my...’ Stop. Start again. ‘Cole Halliday—Joe Burrows.’
Grief flared in Cole’s eyes, blinked away as he reached to shake hands with her current boss. ‘Pleased to meet you. I got here just in time. They were talking about closing the airport when my flight landed.’
Joe nodded. ‘I’m not surprised. The reports are getting worse by the hour.’ He looked to her. ‘You’d better get home while you can, otherwise you might find yourselves holed up somewhere in town.’
At least then they wouldn’t be stuck in the house, just the two of them, trying to be friendly while working through the problems they faced. Though hotel rooms weren’t known for their spaciousness. Better the house. More rooms.
&
nbsp; ‘I’ve still got two patients to come.’ It wouldn’t be fair to leave someone else to cover for her when everyone was anxious to go home as soon as they could.
‘I’ll see to them. If they turn up. The cancellations have escalated since lunch time.’
She couldn’t find it in her to argue. ‘Right, thanks. It’ll be a slow trip as it is. Jack said more people than usual were heading out of town when he and Barbara came in. The schools closed at midday.’ She couldn’t put off spending time alone with Cole any longer. Did she really want to? In all honesty, no. The time had arrived to talk and make some decisions. ‘I’ll grab my gear.’
‘Take one of the emergency kits in case you’re needed to help someone at Palm Beach,’ Joe said, before turning to Cole. ‘You’re a doctor, aren’t you?’
‘Yes, I am, so no issues with administering drugs if required should we get called to an emergency.’
‘Great. If there’s an accident it might be a problem for emergency services to reach the scene in this weather.’
‘There were a lot of frustrated drivers doing some damned silly things on the road in from the airport so anything’s likely.’
Vicki interrupted the men. They were getting comfortable with each other. She didn’t want that. This was her territory and Cole getting cosy only made it harder to keep him at arm’s length. ‘No need to take a kit from here. Dad’s got a full drugs cabinet and the storeroom was topped up with everything you could think of before he and Mum left on their road trip.’ These days her dad ran a small clinic at home when he wasn’t tripping around in the campervan with Mum so she could take numerous photos for the paintings she hoped would re-establish herself as an artist. Right now they were in Western Australia. ‘Keep yours here in case it’s needed elsewhere.’