“Okay,” I said, wanting to ask him more questions. Like did he have an address for her and had he done a background check on the guy or call some connection in London to find out more. But I didn’t.
Instead, I ended the call with our usual “bye love you” and hung up.
Sinking into the kitchen chair, I stared out the window no longer enjoying the view.
MAY 23 / 9:10 PM
Eli Hardy
WHEN I’D DRIVEN away from this town a year ago, I hadn’t planned on being gone so long, but until a call I got from my dad last week, I hadn’t even thought about returning. Life had changed me. They would never understand just how much. No one would and I wasn’t ready to tell anyone why or how. I had dealt with the demons and they hadn’t destroyed me. But there were times I thought little reminders just might.
Returning to Sea Breeze wasn’t what I was ready to do. Finding a way to face each day the past six months had been hard enough. Seeing my family wasn’t what I wanted to do and my life would never be here again. Even though it had been an easier life I left behind in Sea Breeze. Memories from that part of my life didn’t hurt anymore. Pain had been something I hadn’t truly experienced then. I’d been a spoiled fool thinking the events that had taken place back then were real heartbreaks. No love I’d experienced in Sea Breeze had ever brought me to my knees. That power was solely given to losing a life . . . beauty . . . innocence that in the end had never truly been real. A façade that would forever haunt me.
In the morning, I’d go to my parents’ house. They were expecting me. I was sure my sisters would be there. My aunt Larissa, her husband Micah Falco, and her daughter Jilly. There was a good chance my aunt Amanda, Uncle Preston and their three sons would be there too. The family would come together. They’d support each other as they always did.
Our gran was well loved. My father’s mother was our only grandmother. She was either a saint or an angel. Not many women would raise a child as her own that had been abandoned by her husband’s mistress. I was too young to remember it all, but Larissa had been the result of an affair my granddad had before I was born. Larissa’s mother had taken off even after my granddad had left my grandmother to live with the other woman and raise Larissa.
All that was history now. Something all of us forgot about, even Larissa. Gran was her mother. She saw it no other way. She adored her, and I knew that she would be taking this news the hardest.
Gran had been diagnosed with colon cancer. Surgery was scheduled two days from now. We would know then if and where it had spread. I inhaled deeply as the memory of my dad’s voice cracking as he told me over the phone. I’d never seen my dad cry or breakdown. But he’d been about to as the words came out of his mouth. My chest tightened again at the thought. My own emotions still raw from life and the knowledge of our fragile existence. My dad’s tears didn’t make him weak. It took a strong man to face the reality of death and loss. To embrace the emotions and be able to weep.
Life didn’t play favorites or keep score. It didn’t care about the innocent. If it did, my life would be very different now. The darkness inside me wouldn’t exist. I would still know how to truly smile. If life cared at all, babies wouldn’t die and my gran would live forever because of the beauty of her soul. She’d given more love than anyone I had ever known. She was the reason I believed in forgiveness. Even if I knew I’d never truly be able to forgive. I wasn’t like my gran. If life cared, it would take me instead.
I climbed off my bike and unhooked the duffle bag strapped on the back before turning to look at the house in front of me. It was impressive. Bliss had mentioned renovations they were doing to the already nice beachfront home they lived in a few months back in a text message. Bliss was settled down now. Her role as my best friend had changed the moment she said “I do” and I knew that was one of the reasons I’d taken Cruz Kerrington’s Harley and headed west with nothing but a change of clothes and a flask of whiskey.
I hadn’t wanted to be here when it all changed. At least that’s what I thought. I couldn’t say I’d do it again if I had known what would unfold. The guy I once was seemed like another lifetime ago. He had thought he was lost and needing to find himself. What a load of shit. I had been clueless as to what real loss was.