“Neither do I.” My eyes jump back and forth between us. “What you see with me is what you get.”
“And you’re mine,” he breathes. It’s not a question. A statement, one that sends a thrill through me.
“Yes,” I murmur, because it feels like I should answer him anyway. We’re so close. Another centimeter and our lips would touch. I tilt my face up, but he doesn’t kiss me. Not yet.
“Just as I’m yours. I promise, Cassidy.” Only then does he kiss me, slow and sensuous. Before, our kisses had been searing fire, electricity. This one is more like lava, a slow burn that spreads throughout my entire body. I wind my hands through his hair, and for a moment, we’re the only two people in the world, here in our private bubble. Here where nothing can touch us.
It feels like the moment lasts forever, the whole day stretching out before us, and beyond that, the weeks, the months. We have all the time in the world, I think in that moment.
What a fool I was.
10
Cassidy
I stand outside the therapist’s office, pacing back and forth, trying to build up my courage. I didn’t tell Lark I was coming here today, or any of my friends. Hell, I barely even admitted to myself what I was planning to do, until I showed up in the parking lot this morning with the appointment penciled into my planner.
Lark and I have been going out for a couple of weeks now. We haven’t given it a label or anything. I don’t want to rush this. I want to savor every minute. But ever since that day at the beach, we’ve spent nearly every night together, either at my apartment or more often at his—his bed is just bigger. It’s more practical.
But more than once, I catch my old self peering through. It doesn’t matter how many times Lark tells me he cares about me, or how often he says he’s never met a woman like me. That voice in the back of my head, the one that was already prevalent since long before I met Norman, but which only got worse over the duration of our relationship, returns to hiss in my ear.
He doesn’t really love you. He can’t. There’s no way a man like him will ever be interested in a girl like you for long.
It’s all bullshit. I know it’s bullshit. But at my weakest moments, alone in my apartment after Lark leaves in the mornings, or when I’m out on a run near his apartment and eying all the other perfect mothers dressed in designer clothing with their tight, fit, skinny bodies, I can’t help but hear that voice again.
So, I finally decided to do something about it. Or at least, ask someone what I can do. I don’t really know how all this works. The receptionist on the phone was super polite and nice, but I’ve never talked to a therapist before. I have no idea what she’s going to say.
Maybe she’ll confirm my worst fears. Tell me I really am unlovable, or that I’m just doing the same thing with Lark that I’ve done in previous relationships—throwing myself into a messy situation because I can’t handle dating someone who’s nice and normal and available.
It’s not that messy, I argue to myself.
Right, argues the nasty voice straight back. You’re just working with him and his ex-wife both, all while secretly sleeping with him. After you promised her there was nothing between you two.
I haven’t talked to Sheryl much since our lunch outing the one time. Lark seems to have taken over handling my company—or rather, he seems to have always been the most involved one, and these days Sheryl’s given up on keeping up. I have the occasional phone call with her, but it’s cursory, just check-ins and making sure I know what’s up next on the docket.
After the big photoshoot at the magazine, which turned out to be a big hit, orders have been flooding in from all over the world. The next goal will be for me to ramp up production to keep up with those orders. Sheryl and Lark gave me funding and full discretion over what manufacturing company I want to partner with as I ramp up, and I’ve spent all my work time over the last week interviewing different factories. I know I want to work with a green company, one that pays their employees a fair wage and will only use organic products in my makeup, ones that haven’t been tested on animals.
That, it turns out, narrows my field of potential manufacturers by a lot.
But earlier this week, Lark and I met with a company based nearby, which met all of those criteria. Right away, I fell in love with the way they do business. It didn’t hurt that the woman who led us on the tour was friendly, smart, and answered all of my questions without batting an eyelash.