‘Everyone on the island must be talking about us by now. In fact, the women are probably giving their men a hard time about how many condoms we’re getting through.’ She didn’t care at all. Every night she raced home to change into something relaxed and less midwife-like, touch up her make-up and put the washing on, then drove around to Flynn’s house. She wasn’t tired of him at all.
Flynn grinned. ‘I’m sure they’ve all got better things to do than talk about their GP and the midwife.’
‘I hope so.’ Her heart lurched. That grin always got her behind the knees, making her nearly pitch forward onto her face. For a casual fling Flynn was breaking all the rules and turning her to mush, making her heart skip when no one had done that to her before. ‘Does Giuseppe know we’re returning to his restaurant?’
‘I spoke to him earlier. He’s planning a special meal for us. Unless there’s something you don’t like to eat, we are to sit back and let the courses come.’
‘Sounds wonderful.’ She planned on wearing a dress tonight, a short black number that she’d found in one of the local shops during her lunch break yesterday. It looked fantastic with her knee-high boots and black patterned stockings. She wouldn’t be wearing anything else, bras and knickers being expendable.
‘Are you two going to spend the day in that room?’ Faye muttered loudly as she stomped past the door. ‘There are patients waiting for both of you.’
Guilt had Ally leaping back from Flynn. ‘Onto it,’ she called out. ‘Seriously, Doctor, you should know better than to kiss the nurse at work.’
‘I’ll do it out in the open next time.’ His finger flicked her chin lightly. ‘I’ll pick you up at seven thirty.’
‘I can’t wait.’ It was true. She’d see him on and off all day and yet she felt desperate to be with him, just the two of them sharing a meal in a restaurant, no interruptions from Adam or the phone or Sheba.
Uh-oh. What was happening? This was starting to feel way wrong. Keep this up and she’d have difficulty leaving at the end of her contract.
‘Ally,’ Megan called urgently from the office. ‘Ally, you’re needed. Lisa Shaw’s on the line, her waters have broken.’
Now, that was reality. ‘Coming.’ She picked up her medical bag and dashed to the office, Flynn sent to the back of her mind only to be brought back out when she wasn’t helping a baby into the world. This was the real stuff her life was about. The grounded, helping-others kind of thing that gave her the warm fuzzies without asking anything of her heart.
‘I’m going to be late.’ Ally phoned Flynn at five o’clock when it became obvious Baby Shaw had no intention of hurrying up for anyone, least of all so his mother’s midwife could go out to dinner with the local GP. ‘I have no idea when Ashton will make his entry. Lisa’s contractions slowed nearly two hours ago and so far don’t look like speeding up.’ Not very medically technical terminology, but he’d get the gist.
‘You can’t hurry babies.’ Disappointment laced Flynn’s words. ‘Is it selfish to wish Lisa hadn’t wanted a home birth?’
‘Yes, it is. I’d better go. I’ll call you when I know if we’re still on for our date.’
An image of that black dress hanging on the wardrobe door flicked across her mind, and she had to suppress a groan.
Lisa was the only person allowed to groan around here, which she was doing with deep intensity right this moment. Scott held her as she draped her pain-ridden body against him and gritted her teeth.
Ally rubbed Lisa’s back. ‘You’re doing great. Seriously.’
‘I have no choice, do I?’ Lisa snapped. ‘Next time I have a dumb idea that having a baby would be wonderful, tell me to take a hike.’ She glared at Scott. ‘Or you have it.’
Scott kissed her forehead and wisely refrained from commenting.
Ally went for diversion. ‘How long have you been married?’
‘Two years,’ Lisa ground out.
‘We’ve been wanting a baby right from the beginning.’ Scott grinned. ‘Couldn’t get it right.’
Ally chuckled. ‘Babies are control freaks. They get conceived when it suits them, arrive when they choose, and they’ve hardly started. But you know what? They’re wonderful.’
Under her hand Lisa’s shoulders tensed as she yelled out in the pain of the next contraction.
‘Lisa, breathe that gas in. You’re doing brilliantly.’
The next hour passed slowly. Ally took observations regularly, noting them on Lisa’s chart, occasionally going for a walk to the letterbox and back to give the couple a few moments alone, then returning to give Lisa more encouragement. Six o’clock clicked over on her watch. There goes dinner with Flynn. Even if Baby Ashton miraculously popped out right then, she’d be needed for a time. Guilt hovered in her head. Never before had she cared how long the birthing process took, she just loved being there with the mums, dads and their babies. But now she loved being with Flynn, too.
Her head jerked up. Loved being with him? Or loved Flynn, full stop?
‘Ally, come quick. Lisa’s pushing,’ Scott called down the hall.
Good, focus on what’s important. ‘That’s good, but we could be a while yet.’ Though for Lisa’s sake she hoped not. She was exhausted.
Examining her, Ally was happy to announce, ‘Baby’s crowning. When the urge to push comes, go with it. Don’t try to hold back.’
‘It’s too damn painful to push,’ Lisa yelled.
‘Come on, Lisa. He’s got to come out of there.’ Scott reached for Lisa’s hand and grimaced as she gripped him.
‘Easy for you to say,’ his wife snarled.
Ally had heard it all before. ‘As soon as Ashton makes his appearance, you two will forget everything but your beautiful little boy.’ This parenthood thing was awesome. Babies were amazing, so cute and vulnerable and yet bonding their parents in a way nothing else could.
Why hadn’t her mother felt like that about her? Was her mother a freak? She was definitely the reason Ally would never have her own baby. What if the don’t-love-your-own-baby gene was hereditary? There was no way on earth she’d chance having a child, only to dump her into the welfare system and disappear. And even if she did love her baby—which she was sure she would despite her past—she didn’t know the first about raising one, about providing all the things a child needed, including loads of love. Her experience of babies stopped once she knew they were able to feed from mum’s breast.
‘Ally, I think he’s coming,’ Lisa broke into her thoughts, brought her back to the here and now, away from the daydreams of someone who should know better.
When Ashton slid into her hands, Ally felt tears prick her eyelids. ‘Wow, look, Scott, he’s lovely.’ She lifted him to meet his parents. Her knees were shaky and her heartbeat erratic. ‘He’s the most beautiful baby I’ve seen.’
‘Of course he is,’ Scott whispered.
All babies were. She’d reacted the same way at that very first birth that had started her on the path to becoming a midwife. Thank you, wee Lloyd, wherever you are now. Not so wee any more, I guess. Mopping her eyes with her arm, she cleaned the mucus from Ashton and placed him on Lisa’s breast.
Flynn picked her up a little after eight. She was tired and exultant. ‘Another little baby safely delivered and in good hands.’ She clicked her seat belt into place. ‘Do you remember when you first held Adam?’ That hadn’t exactly changed the subject, had it? Darn.
‘Everything about him—his scrunched-up face, his red skin, spiky black hair and ear-shattering cry. He hasn’t changed much.’ Flynn smiled with a far-away look in his eye.
‘His face isn’t red.’ The love in Flynn’s voice brought tears to her eyes and she had to look out the window at the houses they were passing until she got herself back under control. It was too easy to picture Flynn carefully cradling Adam wrapped in a blanket, like he was made of something so fragile he’d break at the slightest pressure. I want that. No. I don’t. I can’t have it. It would be wrong for everyone.
‘Ally? Where’ve you gone?’
Suck it up, play the game. You know how to. ‘I’m thinking pasta and garlic and tomatoes. It’s been a long day and I forgot to buy my lunch on the way to work so missed out what with Baby Ashton stealing the show.’
‘I’m sure Giuseppe will fix what’s ailing you.’ Flynn pulled up outside the restaurant.
‘Good.’ Pity there was no cure for what really troubled her. She could not, would not get too involved. Flynn had been hurt badly with Anna’s death. So had Adam. She couldn’t risk hurting them again. Forget involvement being a risk; hurting them would be a certainty. She was clueless in the happy-families stakes, and they so didn’t deserve or need to be hurt by her. She shoved the door wide before Flynn had a chance to come round to open it for her. ‘Let’s go and have the night of our lives.’
‘Ally.’ Flynn’s hand on her arm stayed her. ‘You look absolutely beautiful tonight. More beautiful, I mean.’
‘Thank you.’ Her heart rolled. Talk about making everything harder. ‘I went shopping yesterday.’
‘I’m not talking about the dress, though you look stunning in it. It fits you like a second skin, accentuates all those curves I love touching.’ He hesitated, breathed deep. ‘But it’s you that’s beautiful—from the inside out.’
Nothing could’ve made her move at that moment if she’d tried. His words had stolen the breath out of her, liquefied her muscles, making them soft and useless. She was supposed to be having dinner with Flynn and then going back to his house and bed. He was not meant to be saying things that undermined her determination to stick to her rules—no deep, attaching involvement.
‘Ally? Did I go too far?’