‘Mitch,’ she croaked.
His steady gaze fixed her to the spot. ‘Thought you’d like to know that I’ve found out I can donate a kidney to Jamie.’
All the air in her lungs hissed out over her lips as she collapsed in on herself. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to exorcise that image of Mitch as he told her what she’d wanted to hear for weeks. But she couldn’t get his face out of her head. His totally emotionless expression pressed at her.
A kidney for Jamie. From his father. And she hadn’t even known he was getting the tests done. Because he’d wanted to find out first? Whichever way it went?
Jodi sank to the floor, her legs unable to hold her upright. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her for ever. Mitch was doing the most generous thing possible for his son. And she’d been ranting and raving at him for coming home late. When had she become such a witch? Had Jamie’s illness taken over every part of her so that she was the single-minded person she’d accused Mitch of being?
Dragging her head up, she met Mitch’s steady gaze. ‘I am so sorry, Mitch. I didn’t think, didn’t consider you might have another reason for not coming home as you’d promised. I’m so sorry,’ she repeated.
‘We have an appointment with Lucas at eleven tomorrow to discuss what we’re doing next, when we might schedule the operations. I’ll see you there. In the meantime, I have a job to get back to.’
As Mitch turned away, Jodi noticed a bottle of champagne in his hand. She gasped. Never, ever had she got something so wrong. And the consequences were huge.
She’d just lost the only man she’d ever loved, still loved. Again.
*
At five to eleven the next morning Jodi was pacing the general waiting room outside the surgical consultants’ rooms. Every time the swing doors opened she looked up expectantly. When a stranger walked though her stomach dropped, and she went back to pacing.
Jamie sat sprawled sideways in the wheelchair Mitch had arranged for him, half-asleep, his blankie tucked around him. Since learning he had to go to see the doctor today he’d been grizzly but his lethargy had finally quietened him.
Eleven o’clock clicked over to one minute past on the wall clock. Where was Mitch? And Lucas? According to Lucas’s nurse, he hadn’t arrived on the floor yet.
She wouldn’t even begin to think anything other than that Mitch would be here as soon as he could get away from his department. And that he’d put Jamie first unless it was absolutely imperative for a patient that he stay in the ED.
The doors swung wide and Lucas marched in, Mitch at his side looking quite cool and calm in his perfect suit with matching shirt and tie.
‘Hey, sport.’ Mitch crouched down by Jamie. ‘How’s my boy?’
‘I want to go home.’
‘As soon as we’ve talked with Dr Lucas, okay?’
Jodi’s heart twisted at the love for Jamie emanating from Mitch’s face. He had taken this whole situation from a place of shock and horror to something vibrant and caring. How had Mitch done it? It must’ve taken a massive amount of courage.
‘Morning, Mitch,’ she said quietly.
‘Morning, Jodi.’ He dipped his head abruptly in her direction before pushing Jamie’s chair after Lucas. ‘Let’s get this under way.’
‘Daddy, I don’t want to see that man.’
What? Now? Shock slammed Jodi and she stumbled.
Mitch gaped at Jamie, then leaned down and brushed the hair out of Jamie’s eyes with the gentlest of movements. A quick glance at her showed shock and delight mingled in his beautiful blue eyes. Then he straightened up and continued pushing Jamie towards Lucas’s office.
Jodi followed in a daze. Jamie had called Mitch Daddy for the first time. Why today, of all days? He’d had days to start saying Daddy and until now she’d not heard the slightest acknowledgement from Jamie that he understood Mitch’s special place in his life.
Lucas let Mitch push the wheelchair through to his office before turning to Jodi. ‘Are you all right, Jodi?’
‘Of course. Jamie’s got a very real chance now.’
Lucas caught her elbow to stop her moving forward. ‘I don’t know anything about the situation between you and Mitch other than you haven’t had a relationship for a few years.’
‘That’s true.’ If you didn’t count the recent mind-blowing sex. Or that they were sharing his house. Make that had been until last night. Mitch must’ve slept over here because he hadn’t come home at all during the night.
Lucas jiggled her arm. ‘I’m probably speaking out of turn—no, I am definitely interfering—but it’s important. Please give Mitch some space while he works through this. It’s a huge undertaking to donate an organ and while he’s willing to do it there are going to be moments when he’ll wonder if he’s going to be all right afterwards.’
‘I understand.’ It was great that Mitch had Lucas batting for him. And a shame that he thought she’d be impatient with Mitch while they got everything under way.
‘And, Jodi…’ Lucas paused and locked eyes with her. ‘I’m thrilled for you and Jamie. There’s sunshine coming for you. Now, let’s get this show on the road.’
It was the first ever medical discussion about Jamie that Jodi sat through without saying a word unless asked a direct question.
She listened carefully as Lucas explained that Mitch would have some sessions with a counsellor before he signed the paperwork required. They discussed how long all this would take, but Lucas hoped to fast-track the last few ends that needed tying up.
‘Then,’ Lucas added, ‘before you get totally excited, there’s one final round of blood tests to be done before we go to Theatre. More often than not we don’t find any problems at that stage. We’ll have covered all the bases in the previous tests.’
Jamie grizzled as Lucas checked him over once more but with Mitch making faces at him and Lucas talking softly Jamie was soon smiling.
Jodi felt estranged from them all. Like she was in a vacuum. She’d got what she’d come to Auckland for: help to save Jamie’s life. More specifically she’d got Mitch to offer his kidney. And yet it was as though she’d made a terrible mistake. Not for getting Jamie what he needed—hell, she’d even got him a father. But she’d lost Mitch. Really lost him for good this time. And there was only one person to blame. Herself.
The appointment seemed interminable but at last she was standing and pushing Jamie’s wheelchair out of the small room. Mitch held the swing door open for her. He walked beside her down the long corridor to the lift. He pressed the buttons for the floors they both required. At level one he stepped out the moment the doors slid open.
Jodi watched his stiff gait, saw his hands clenching at his sides, and reached out to him with her hand. ‘Mitch.’
He stopped, turned to face her. ‘Yes?’
Whatever she’d been about to say froze in the chill pouring off him. Her mouth dried, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. Her arm dropped to her side, effectively letting the doors close and the lift continue its downward journey. Down to the underground car park where she’d left Mitch’s vehicle in his reserved slot.
Strapping Jamie in to his seat, she proceeded to take them back to Mitch’s house, where Mitch’s cleaning lady had country music blaring and the laundry flapping in the winter wind.
Inside the house she tucked Jamie into bed in Mitch’s spare room and went to make a strong coffee with beans she’d bought the other day—one of the few things she’d contributed, and that had been more about her than Mitch.
Claire filled another mug and joined her in the dining room, where weak sunlight cut through the windows to create a semblance of warmth. Not that it reached the cold rock that was Jodi’s heart.
‘Hey.’ Claire dropped heavily into a deep armchair, miraculously not spilling a drop of her coffee. ‘You look pooped.’
That was putting it mildly. ‘Try blind with lack of sleep.’ The lethally strong coffee hit her stomach, sent her caffeine-craving senses into raptures. And set t
he drums in her head beating again.
‘Mitch’s starting to look a bit like you these days. Like you’re both space trekking.’ Claire sipped her well-milked coffee and winced. Her focus appeared to be on the small spider’s web in the corner of the room. ‘I used to think he ran on empty all the time and still managed to come up looking fabulous. But not anymore. When I saw him yesterday he looked like crap.’
Rub it in, why don’t you? ‘I’d say it’s the worry about Jamie that’s doing that.’
‘You’re probably right. He’s used to working all those hours and dealing with everyone else’s emergencies, not his own.’
Jodi stared at the woman. Had she been talking to Lucas by any chance? Of course she hadn’t. But two similar messages in one morning? Didn’t they get it? She knew she’d messed up big time. What she didn’t know was how to fix it. None of them had any answers there. ‘It’s not the same looking after someone who’s a patient as it is looking after your own child.’
Claire changed the subject. Slightly. ‘Fancy Mitch having a twin brother. It freaked me when you called him Max. I thought you were having me on.’
‘That happened a lot at med school.’
‘Did you ever make a mistake?’ Claire grinned. ‘Ever think you were with Mitch when it was actually Max?’
‘Not once. I know the difference between Mitch and Max.’ Max, who only the other day had told her she was strong. Because she fought for her son. So why wasn’t she fighting for Mitch?
The phone in the kitchen rang. ‘For you,’ Claire said moments later. ‘It’s Mitch.’
Mitch was phoning her? Her heart rate lifted. ‘Hi, Mitch. That was a positive meeting with Lucas.’
‘I’m calling to inform you I’m flying to Sydney on Friday for two days. I’ll email you my contact details so that you can reach me if something happens with Jamie.’
Sydney and his prestigious job. Of course. How silly of her to forget that.
*
Mitch dropped his phone on his desk and ran his hands over his stubbly chin. ‘Going to the pack, boyo.’