‘No, people come to you because you’re so willing to help out. That’s how I see it. Others do, too. Who puts her hand up to stay late when a case overruns a shift? Who altered her sister’s dress last weekend?’
Warmth slipped in under her ribs. ‘But those things are part of my job, of belonging to my family. No big deal.’
Those were the things that mattered, the things that kept her grounded, helped her through the rare days she regretted having to give up her dream years ago. Anyway, what could be better than raising two of the most gorgeous children ever?
Someone to share her life with. Kieran. Shock tripped her. Kieran? As if. She might desire him, but love him? Her skin prickled, her heart slowed. This was the second time that thought had bounded into her brain. She couldn’t afford love. Not with any man. She’d paid a huge price last time. Anyway, if she made the mistake of falling in love with Kieran, he’d never reciprocate the emotion. A cold weight of pain lodged in her stomach. She knelt down to place Olivia’s water-wings on her arms as Kieran continued down to the water with Seamus.
Sally dropped onto the sand beside her. ‘Kieran’s spending a lot of time with the children.’
‘He’s just doing the uncle thing.’ Would Sally never give up?
‘But he’s not Seamus’s uncle, is he?’ Sally watched, her eyes narrowed, as Kieran coaxed Seamus to step into the shallow water. ‘You know, I’ve never noticed before how alike in colouring Olivia and Seamus are.’
Abby’s stomach clenched and nausea soured her mouth. ‘That often happens with cousins.’
Sally’s eyes turned to her, and her hand found Abby’s. ‘I agree. But why does Seamus look so much like Kieran?’
Abby twisted away and stared out at the beckoning waters of Tasman Bay stretching for ever, at the smooth sand broken only by footprints.
‘It’s okay, your secret’s safe with me,’ Sally whispered. ‘I’ll stop trying to push you two together now I know about this. Though I still think he’s ideal for you if you’d give him a chance.’
‘He’s a playboy, Sally. Playboys break hearts easier than I can break glass.’ But it might already be too late for her. Somehow Kieran had managed to winkle in under her skin in a very short time. So she had to start acting sensibly, stop thinking about those electrifying kisses. Kieran may be her son’s father, but he could only be her friend. No matter what.
‘He hasn’t been behaving like one since he arrived and, believe me, there’ve been plenty of offers for a good time from the nurses.’ Sally sighed. ‘I heard talk last Saturday night he turned down two invitations to go clubbing. Hardly the act of a playboy.’
‘Saturday night? He went to a party with Steph and her boyfriend.’
‘According to Robyn, Kieran worked most of the weekend, including Saturday night.’
Heat pooled in Abby’s stomach as relief poured through her. Kieran hadn’t gone to the party after all. Her eyes feasted on him now as he shucked out of his outer clothes in preparation for a swim. Again the overwhelming urge to kiss him hit her, rising so quickly it rocked her to the core.
She needed a diversion before she acted on these dangerous impulses. She hauled her top off and popped the stud on her shorts, letting them drop to the sand where she stepped out of them. Across the beach Kieran stood staring at her, his face unreadable. But the flare of interest in his eyes as he took in her bikini-clad body was definitely unmistakable. He wanted her. Plain as day, Kieran wanted her.
And she wanted him just as much. Prefect timing, Abby. Absolutely brilliant. On a family beach with two children and most of her colleagues, and she wanted to make love to this man. Why hadn’t she worn knee-length shorts and a baggy T-shirt?
‘Race me, Abby,’ Olivia yelled, inadvertently creating a much-needed diversion as she tore down the sand towards the water.
Abby raced after her, not to win the dare but to be on hand should Olivia trip and fall into the water. Olivia had had swimming lessons and now knew how to float on her back and dogpaddle in a fashion, and, most importantly, not to panic if her head went underwater. But she was still only three years old and Abby would never let her go into the water alone.
‘I’m first.’ Olivia giggled. ‘Look, Uncle Kieran’s undressed Seamus.’
‘So he has.’ She watched Seamus, as naked as the day he was born, and Kieran, thankfully dressed in beach shorts and not Speedos, make their way in a more dignified manner into the sea.
As Kieran stepped through the water, she watched the level creeping slowly up his firm calves, his muscular thighs, then. She swallowed. Turned away, focused on Olivia until she heard Seamus gurgling gleefully. Turning back, her face spilt into a smile. Seamus, held carefully by a squatting Kieran, was kicking the water into a frenzy while his tiny fists flew in all directions, putting Kieran’s head in danger.
But what really grabbed her heart was seeing the look of amazement on Kieran’s face. He was enjoying himself as much as his son.
Late afternoon the next day and the sun still blazed down fiercely. Kieran swallowed a glass of cold water. He enjoyed the heat, but couldn’t get his head around the fact that Christmas was less than two weeks away. There should be snow covering the lawn, not roses and lilies flowering in the garden.
In her kitchen Abby had vegetables cooking for the children’s dinner. Olivia sat on the floor, reading her doll a story from a picture book. Seamus had opened the pot cupboard and had begun removing everything he could lay his hands on. Kieran leaned against the bench, savouring the scene. Until now he’d believed domesticity to be highly overrated, had thought his married friends had gone gaga.
But what could be better than this? How could his parents not have given him the same sense of security that Abby gave these two? He thought his mother had but his memories of her were murky. Had his father not loved him enough to care how he felt? Eejit. You know he didn’t. His breathing hitched in his chest. He hadn’t been good enough to love. His father had always compared him to Morag, the golden girl. No argument there. Morag had been special, and he’d loved her. But why couldn’t his father have loved him, too? Surely he hadn’t been as bad as all that? The old bewilderment trudged through his brain, and he still didn’t have an answer.
Dragging his hand through his hair, he shunted the unpleasant thoughts aside. No wonder Abby had been the nominated parent for Olivia. Abby knew what family was all about. But could he be a part of Seamus and Olivia’s lives? In some capacity?
The thought of Seamus growing up believing his dad didn’t love him appalled Kieran. He would do his utmost to make sure both children knew how he felt about them. These days, with emails, Skype and digital cameras, it wasn’t difficult to stay in touch and keep a visual presence from afar.
Clattering pots brought him back to the present. He found Abby watching him, a doubtful smile hovering on her soft lips.
‘You all right?’ she asked.
‘Couldn’t be better.’ His father may have let him down, but this family had begun to make up for his cold childhood. He felt as though he was coming out into the light after a long spell in the dark. Looking around, he drank in the simple things: food cooking, the radio playing in the background, the children. From somewhere deep inside he began to smile; a big, broad smile that he couldn’t stop.
He moved to place a kiss on Abby’s cheek. ‘Thank you.’
Her finger touched her cheek. ‘What for?’
‘For being you.’ For refusing to let him get away with his attempts to remain aloof. For ma
king him face up to learning what he was capable of. Right now, he believed he actually could be a father. Maybe even a good one.
A thump on his shin stopped these thoughts. Looking down at Seamus pushing a pot lid along the floor, oblivious to obstacles, Kieran decided to join his son. Going down on his haunches, he picked up another lid and began ‘driving’ around the kitchen.
And around Abby’s bare toes.
Toes with pink toenails. Toes that curled under when he blew on them. The owner of those toes tapped the side of his head. ‘Remind me never to ride with you again. Your sense of direction is appalling.’
He looked up and grinned. ‘Just following the leader.’ A light air tripped over his skin as those hazel eyes peered down at him, a hint of humour sparkling at their corners.
‘Typical. Blame the most inexperienced member of the team,’ the focus of his attention quipped.
From his low crouching position her legs seemed to go on for ever. Something inside his chest squeezed. Excitement spun through him. It took all his willpower not to reach out and run his fingers over her smooth skin. Damn. He was supposed to be playing a game with his son, not ogling the kid’s mother.
‘Brrm, brrm.’ Seamus pushed his lid into Kieran’s leg. Focusing entirely on Seamus, he pretended to be unaware of Abby. At least, he tried really hard to ignore her. Impossible to do when his groin ached with need for her.
Thankfully the vegetables were soon ready. Kieran didn’t know long he could’ve stayed on the small floor, ignoring Abby’s legs.
‘Do you want to feed Seamus?’ Abby asked.
Absolutely, but he still wasn’t overly convinced about the fun of mealtimes. They seemed highly overrated.
He must have shown some hesitancy because Abby laughed as she pushed the highchair forward. ‘It’s more about directing the spoon than anything else. Seamus loves feeding himself, which is why bathtime is after dinner.’
Olivia scrambled up to the table. ‘I can feed myself. And I don’t make a mess of my clothes.’