What did he have to lose by staying? His heart was already entrenched here, and his chance at a future that included family and roots and friendships he wasn’t always walking away from was also here.
What did he have to lose by leaving? All of the above.
Man, oh, man. Just like that, he knew. Harry leaned forward. ‘Thanks, mate.’
‘Pay me later.’ There was a small smile twitching at the man’s mouth.
Harry squirmed in his seat, stretched his legs out, drew them up again, folded his arms around his waist, dropped them onto his thighs. It never took this long to reach base.
‘I’ll do the stock,’ Connor announced as they finally dropped out of the chopper right outside the main hangar.
Was he that easy to read? ‘Thanks, again.’
* * *
The day had dragged. Gone was the small spring in Sienna’s steps, gone was the enthusiasm for everything. That there were fewer admissions only added to her gloom. ‘It’s as though people are refusing to get sick because of Christmas.’ Hopefully no one was staying away when it was imperative they see a doctor.
Once Sienna was away from the ward and back at home changing out of her work clothes into shorts and a tee shirt, Christmas loomed larger than ever in her mind. Unheard of. It rattled her stoic, professional front. Her mother and Bill had arrived early yesterday and promptly taken over her kitchen. Nothing unusual there, except for the tingle of excitement sneaking under her radar. The traditions set in place over the last few years were claiming her as never before. Previously she’d held on to them as a way of keeping the past out of the way. This year they gave hope for the future, and yet she couldn’t see how that would really change the way she’d like it to. They certainly didn’t include Harrison—or those children she wanted to have.
There were the same number of presents under the tree. She wasn’t counting the one languishing out in the garage. That would go to a charity shop in the new year.
Harrison seemed to be out all the time. If his attire of those in-your-face overalls were anything to go by, he’d made himself available for every shift. His body had been slumped with exhaustion as he’d walked up the drive half an hour ago. Presumably he’d be heading to the airport any time soon to catch a flight home.
So you’re going to let him go without a word?
She was hardly going to attempt to get onside with him a third time. She might be a novice at the dating game, but she wasn’t entirely stupid. She understood it wasn’t working between them, and that there were too many reasons why it never would.
Yes, and you are one of the biggest reasons.
Gasp. What?
You’re afraid.
Yes, she sure was. Unwilling to take more risks than she’d already managed. Didn’t want to end up being her mother, never settling when it was her greatest wish, all because of love.
But you’re more than willing for Harrison to stop moving from a job he enjoys to another he’ll enjoy just so you can be happy.
Was she being selfish? Harry didn’t know she loved him. She had no real idea what he felt for her; guessing games didn’t cut it. There was risk number one, laying her heart on the line without knowing the outcome.
Third time lucky.
Now, where did that come from? He was leaving. Better he knew the truth than have him go away totally unaware she loved him.
‘Sienna?’
‘Yes, Mum?’
‘Is that man in the other apartment the one you had such a wonderful time with in Coromandel?’
‘He sure is.’
Her mother’s sigh had Sienna turning to stare at her. ‘Mum.’
‘Just remembering, that’s all.’
‘Dad?’
‘Yes. It wasn’t all bad, you know.’
‘You two used to tuck me up in bed and go walking, hand in hand along the beach or the river bank or whatever was there. I’d follow sometimes and you were completely oblivious to anything but yourselves, laughing, talking, kissing.’ She’d forgotten those times.
‘You followed us?’ Her mother’s face coloured up. ‘How often?’
‘Often enough. Relax. I always knew when it was time to disappear back to my bed.’ Suddenly the hesitation was gone. She and Harrison had shared some wonderful days and nights. It hadn’t only been about the lovemaking, but all the conversations and laughter, and the fishing. Togetherness. It had been the best two days of her adult life. And she wanted more of them. Would Harrison? With her? Only one way to find out.
But first she’d brush her hair out the way he liked it, and put on that blue blouse he liked so much. Cosmetic changes, sure, but why not? This was the man she loved and would do anything for. Anything? Yes, anything.
She snagged a bottle of wine on the way through the kitchen.
* * *
Harry saw Sienna coming up from her apartment as he headed down his drive. They met at the letterboxes, each with a bottle of wine in their hands. That had to be a good sign. ‘Hey,’ he said.
‘Hey, yourself.’ She didn’t hesitate, or blush; her eyes didn’t turn frosty. She kept on coming, her empty hand reaching out to him. ‘I wanted to see you before you left.’ Then she stumbled. ‘There are things I need to tell you.’
Catching her, Harry slipped his fingers through hers and held tight. ‘I was on my way to tell you I’m not leaving.’
Her head jerked upward, her gaze searching his face before finally locking
onto his eyes. ‘You’re not?’ Some emotion made her voice squeaky. He thought it might be hope. Or that could be wishful thinking on his part. Sienna swallowed hard and tried again. ‘You’re not going back to Melbourne tonight?’
‘Not tonight, not for a long time, other than briefly to visit my brothers and friends in a few weeks’ time.’
‘Where, then?’ she whispered.
‘I’m staying here. I’ve accepted the base director’s post. It’s a job I’d like to own, to be able to make changes as I see fit, train more volunteers and look after the paid staff.’
Her fingers were gripping his. ‘Wow. That’s quite a change of direction for you.’ He could almost fall into her eyes, they were so large. ‘Glad I brought the wine.’
‘You want to celebrate me hanging around to annoy you?’
‘Is that what you intend doing?’ She was holding her breath, as though the next thing he told her would be the most important ever. Was she aware her fingernails were digging into his palm?
‘If you’ll let me.’ Then Harry couldn’t breathe either. Had to be something in the air to be affecting them both in the same way.
Damn but he was a fool. But he wasn’t used to opening up his heart.
Just do it. Put it out there. Deep, deep breath.
‘Sienna, I love you. I didn’t want to. I fought it hard, but there was no stopping you getting into my heart. You’re changing me, making me stand up for those things I have been denying I want for so long.’ There was no stopping him now he’d started. It was as if a cloud had finally evaporated, to be replaced by sunshine. ‘I want the whole caboodle with you. Love, laughter, tears if we have to, kids, even. What do you think?’ His chest hurt as air stalled in his lungs. If she didn’t answer him fast he might drop in a heap at her feet, gasping like a fish on the sand.
She tried to pull away, but he increased the pressure to keep contact. ‘Tell me,’ he said with as much constraint as possible.