‘Haemoglobin’s nine-point-five,’ Julie told her an hour later. ‘Severe iron deficiency. Renal function normal.’
The lab had added iron studies after getting that haemoglobin result. ‘Right, now we know what we’re dealing with. All we have to do is find the cause.’
‘At Jonty’s age it’d be diet, wouldn’t it? Or celiac disease.’ Julie’s brow creased in thought.
‘Most likely, but we need to check for internal bleeding anyway. He could’ve been kicked in the stomach by a calf, though I’d have thought he’d have been brought in if that was the case.’
Thank goodness for busy. Knock-off time came around fast and for a minute Sienna tossed up whether to stay or to hand over to the night team. She was afraid of losing her job to Wendy Hall but the past two weeks had shown her more to life, and maybe she could take a chance on what the woman might do to her. What was the worst that could happen? Losing her job would break her heart but it wouldn’t destroy her.
‘This is where we’re at with Jonty,’ she told the head paediatrician coming on for the night shift. After running through the notes she walked away, fully expecting the roof to fall in on her.
By the time she pulled into her drive she was beginning to relax. Then she noticed Harry climbing out of his four-wheel drive and the tightness returned.
‘How’s Jonty?’ he called over the fence.
After filling him in and trying to not gaze into his eyes like a lovelorn teenager she closed the garage and went inside to pour a wine. Yes, she’d decided one glass on her own wasn’t going to turn her into an alcoholic.
There was a lot to think about, but instead she immersed herself in the theory of flight, and weather patterns.
Tuesday was busy with three serious admissions leaving little time for anything other than hastily downed lukewarm coffee at intermittent moments, but Sienna didn’t hang around when it was obvious the staff didn’t need her. By the time she got home all she wanted was to put her feet up and enjoy a wine while eating dinner and reading the flight training manual. It was her new passion. Not that it cancelled out the passion that was Harrison. Sussing out the apartment next door, looking for him, was not an option. But want to or not, she still did it. Often. Finally, to distract herself, she put the manuals aside and wrapped the few Christmas presents she’d bought a couple of weeks back and placed them under the tree, including one for Harry.
Staring at the green-and-red paper covering the long, narrow box containing a fishing rod, she knew it was a mistake. He wouldn’t drop by on Christmas Day. For one, he’d probably be in Melbourne, and two, even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t call in to see her ever again. She’d wrecked two chances, one more than most people got. But she hadn’t been able to resist buying the rod. It had had his name on it. Of course, why she’d even gone into the hunting and fishing shop in the first place was a mystery.
Retrieving the parcel, she took it out to the garage and leaned it against the cupboard in a corner out of the way. Out of sight. Back in the lounge she sank into a chair and let the tears fall for a few minutes before straightening her back, plastering on a reluctant smile and turning on the TV. She could be happy. Her life was changing, not necessarily how she’d envisaged entirely, but one step at a time she’d make it work out.
Except for Wendy Hall creating waves, that was. Dale had set up a meeting with two board members, himself and Sienna that afternoon, and she felt more confident that they’d do all they could to renew her contract. When she’d suggested they draw it up a month early there’d been some hesitation, so she’d had to drop the idea. But what was bothering her more than anything was that she wasn’t losing sleep over the whole idea of her job being in jeopardy.
Not that she was planning on going hooking up with Harrison and traipsing around after him. He’d have to love her for her to do that, and there’d been no sign of love coming from him.
Wednesday brought Santa to the ward, handing out presents and good cheer, and generally causing mayhem with the kids. Sienna watched the excitement with a lump in her throat and a knot in her heart. She wanted this. Kids, presents, Santa, the whole shebang.
With Harrison. In Melbourne? Or Auckland? Or the back of beyond? No, she hadn’t progressed that far.
Her smile slipped. She pulled it back, getting used to wearing one even when she felt like curling up in a ball and crying. When a little boy rushed up to her waving the toy aeroplane he’d unwrapped, Sienna got down on her knees and played flying games with him. ‘This is the best medicine out,’ she told Julie.
‘We should bottle it,’ Julie replied as she worked to remove sticky goop from a toddler’s hair. ‘Though I’d be leaving this stuff out.’
That night Sienna and Anna hit the town for cocktails followed by dinner to celebrate the season as they did every year. ‘To us.’ Sienna knocked her glass against her friend’s after they’d been yakking for a while.
Anna took a large mouthful of her drink, looking as though she was about to cry. ‘To another Christmas without husbands and kids.’
‘Whoa. Where did that come from?’ Shock rippled through Sienna. Anna never sounded sad about her lot. Angry, sometimes, yes, even nostalgic, but sad?
‘Did you hear yourself when you were talking about your day on the ward? Did you feel the longing that was in your voice when you mentioned those kids and their excitement? We are missing out on all that.’
No denying she’d felt it earlier in the day, but Sienna hadn’t realised it was still in her system, and worse, had let her yearning rise to the fore. ‘Sure we are, but we’re also living how we choose.’ Harrison appeared behind her eyes, and he was waving, like she needed reminding of her love for him and how she’d like that to unfold.
‘We’re both so tied up in our careers I sometimes wonder how we function in the real world.’
‘Who ticked you off today?’ This so wasn’t her friend talking.
‘Your Felicity’s making me take a look at myself. She’s gutsy and determined to get ahead with school and friends and everything that comes her way despite the cystic fibrosis ruling her life. She never stops talking about you and how wonderful you are, yet she only knows half the picture.’
‘My Felicity? She’s a patient I’ve got to know well over the years and am trying to help in other ways than medical.’
‘Of course. Nothing to do with your loving side, your need to be engaged with people, your caring nature.’ Finally Anna’s smile was back in place, and she sipped her mojito. ‘You going to do anything about Mr Sexy?’
The warmth drained from her face. ‘We’re not really talking at the moment.’
‘You should do something about that. Don’t let the problem get so big it can’t be managed.’
If only it were that simple. ‘No point. Harry heads home to Australia in a couple of days.’ Which had to be a good thing, right? He wouldn’t take the position at the rescue base. Permanent wasn’t a word in his vocabulary.
‘Damn it, Sienna, stop making everything so hard. Take some risks, have some fun.’
‘Oh, like you do, right?’
‘Well, one of us has to break the mould first. Why not you?’
Good question, and one that kept blinking on in the front of her mind for the rest of the evening, and all through the night, and on the way to work next morning. Unfortunately, an answer wasn’t so quick or determined to make itself known. Or was she hiding from it? Afraid of the consequences of taking further risks?
* * *
‘There you go, sport.’ Harry nodded farewell to the thirteen-year-old lad the rescue helicopter had just delivered to North Shore Hospital. ‘Take care. No more riding your cycle on one wheel over the cliff onto the beach ten metres below.’ Luck had been on the kid’s side. His arm was broken but otherwise nothing more serious than a few bruises. About as lucky as Si had been.
Si. He wishe
d he could stop calling her that. The abbreviated version of Sienna had slipped into his vocabulary one day and refused to disappear. Si meant warmth, excitement, hurt, longing. And a load more.
Including taking the biggest risk of his adult life.
Connor sat opposite him in the chopper and reached for his safety harness. ‘What time’s your flight out?’
‘Midnight.’
‘Want to have a farewell drink with the gang before you go?’
A farewell drink. ‘Probably not. I’ve got to see Derek, and then there are some things I have to do at the apartment before I head away.’
The look he received from over the top of Connor’s sunglasses told him he’d let his friends down, but it couldn’t be helped. There were more important details to attend to. He could only hope everyone would understand when it became general knowledge on the base. ‘I’ll put some money on the bar.’
‘Wish you were hanging around.’
Harry’s eyes widened. ‘Thanks. It’s been a good number, this one.’
Connor got busy writing up case notes, leaving Harry to contemplate his navel. He checked his phone. No messages. Sienna was still cold on him. Like he’d done anything to crank up their relationship. The time read five forty-two. By the time the chopper landed and they’d restocked the kits it would be knock-off time. His final stint over and done with. Auckland had been a lark. The job one of the best. The people—he’d made some good friends he’d miss.
He tapped the photo icon and up came all the reasons he should stay. Sienna laughing at his Christmas tree. Sienna winding in her first snapper. Sienna sound asleep on the outdoor couch in the shade at the bach in Coromandel. Sienna—
Tap. Stop it.
‘You won’t change your mind about leaving?’ Connor asked, a guarded expression on his face.
Did he know there was a position on offer? It was a small base and word got around fast at times, though Derek said no one knew his plans. But that wasn’t the question. Would he change his mind? He looked out at the harbour below and the rapidly approaching city centre with the ferries at the quays, the workers on their way home or to the bars. The Sky Tower where he’d challenged Sienna into agreeing they should leap off and take a chance on a piece of rope. Should he remind her they had yet to see that through? What was the point when they weren’t about to become an item? But if he stayed they might. Might not, either.