When he put it like that her heart squeezed for him. ‘You’re so self-contained.’ That was lonely. Sad, even.
‘Aren’t you?’
Not quite as much. Her parents were still there for her if she ever asked for help. ‘You don’t have family to go back to?’ He’d never mentioned parents or siblings. Or children. There was also a squeeze for herself at his warning. He wouldn’t stop his nomadic lifestyle for her any more than he would for any woman. While it was too early to be thinking about that, she needed to be strong, ready, watching out for her heart, because deep inside warning bells were ringing. Harrison might be the man who could change her perspective on how she lived. Shock rippled through her. Typical. She found a man to tinkle her keys and he was all wrong for her.
‘Sure I do.’
What? Family. Right. ‘Sharing isn’t your thing, is it?’ Her voice was harsher than she’d intended, but he never talked about himself. Had he learned that from his parents? ‘Your family not talkers either?’ Might as well ask as wonder.
‘Most of them don’t know when to stop.’ It wasn’t a joke. When those eyes locked on her she saw anger and bitterness battling for supremacy. ‘My mother got pregnant with me when she was nineteen. My grandfather forced her to marry my father by saying he’d disown her if she didn’t. Since she had ambitions to take over Granddad’s company and the fortune that with it, she didn’t argue.’
‘Did your father have any say in that?’
‘He had plenty of ambition himself. Already working for the company, he saw the opportunities to get to the top and take over. It was a recipe for disaster. There wasn’t any love between Mum and Dad.’
‘With you caught between them.’ She wanted to hug the little boy who’d have been lost in all that, but there was a stop sign blinking out at her. Harry would hate her showing compassion.
‘I was stuck right bang in the middle between two warring factions, copping the blame for anything that went wrong. After all, it was my fault they’d had to get married, so it must be my fault the company went through a few bad years; that Granddad wouldn’t sign over control to Mum as soon as she wanted it; that the roof leaked. You name it, I caused it.’
Geez, how did any parent do that to their child? Her parents might’ve given her the craziest start to life but it had been fun and loving, and done with the best of intentions. ‘Are you the only child?’
‘There’s the joke. After my parents married they decided they wanted a family to follow in their footsteps so I have two brothers I adore and would do anything for. My feelings are reciprocated,’ he added in a softer voice. ‘By them and their wives and kids.’
‘So why don’t you want what they’ve got?’
‘You seriously think that’s going to work? I tried once. Big fail. I refused to be bullied into doing what she wanted.’
‘You’ve been married?’
‘Four years and three months. Celia had the same ambitions as my mother—money, power, and never mind who she trod on to get it. Especially me.’
‘You didn’t see that before you married?’
‘You’d think I would’ve, but no. Celia was so loving and kind, she’d do anything for me. I fell the whole way. Until I wised up and realised I was being played like a salmon on the line. By then we were married and about to move into a mansion I hadn’t even seen when we made an offer to buy it.’
‘Is that when you called it quits?’ This was not the Harrison she’d come to expect when she asked questions. This man still hurt, but seemed to want to get it all out there. With her.
‘No, I stayed another two years after that, believing that loving someone was for ever and with everything I had. But finally the give, give, give, without anything in return, got to me, wore me down and turned me sour. It seemed the more I gave the more she wanted.’ He stood up to his full height. ‘I’d read Celia all wrong right from the start, thought she cared about us, not just her own needs. Should’ve known better with my history.’
She might’ve felt intimidated by his height and those broad shoulders that seemed bigger than ever if not for that sadness lurking in the backs of his eyes. This big, strong man had problems that made him hurt on the inside. ‘Sure you’re not hiding behind this to avoid getting tied down again?’
His eyes widened. ‘More than likely, but why would I get married again? Some people are meant to be single, and I’m obviously one of them. Guess my expectations are too high.’
‘Doesn’t sound like that to me.’
‘Then I haven’t been clear enough.’
Oh, he’d been clear all right. Like a piece of glass. He wasn’t prepared to take another chance on love. She couldn’t help nudging him a little. ‘You believe those close to you will hold you responsible for everything that happens in their lives, yet it doesn’t sound like that when you talk about your brothers.’
‘They’re different, having grown up with me.’
‘You didn’t find a middle ground with your wife?’
He grimaced. ‘Go for the throat. Exactly what I’d expect from you.’
Her stomach sank. She hadn’t intended rubbing him up the wrong way quite that much; the words had just popped out. But she wouldn’t retract them. They felt right, so she gave something back and hopefully he’d understand where she was coming from. ‘I should know. It’s why I live this ordinary, safe life. I’m afraid to step out of my comfort zone and take risks.’
‘What happened to the girl who demanded her parents stop wandering around the country as though there was nothing to linger for?’
‘She got tied up with rigorous hours studying and training, and then she fell in love with a man who woke up one morning and decided he didn’t love her any more. Apparently she was too cautious and always questioning why they had to move from city to city to chase the perfect job, the best position, when staying in his first job would’ve seen him at the top by now. He added insult to injury by dumping her for his high-school sweetheart.’
When Harry took a step towards her she held her hands up, palms towards him. ‘Don’t.’ Now he was giving out compassion and it was too much. She didn’t need his sympathy, only wanted the one thing he’d withdrawn minutes ago: desire. For her. She had to be grateful he’d stopped when he did. They were on different paths, and the strength of whatever this need between them was could be devastating. There’d be no happy ending, so best to call a halt now.
Heat in the pit of her stomach told her she was lying to herself. So much for starting over. But having a fling, even with her neighbour, wasn’t the only thing on the list. She could try something else first.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SIENNA REMOVED HER stethoscope from Felicity’s chest. ‘You’re good to go.’
In typical teenage fashion Fliss shrugged her words away. ‘Whatever.’ She was back in a bad place. It seemed everyone at school would be raving about the wonderful week on Great Barrier Island and she didn’t want to hear any of it.
‘Doesn’t school finish this week?’
‘It’s not like we’ll be doing any work. It’s boring.’
‘Have you found a holiday job yet?’
‘Duh. I’ve been in here, haven’t I?’
Sienna tipped her head to one side. She wouldn’t show pity for her favourite teen. ‘I think the internet works in here as well as anywhere.’
‘You try getting work when you cough goop like I do. People hate it.’
This day had been coming for a while now. Sienna had spoken to the counsellor about Fliss and knew they’d had a session, but obviously there was still a long way to go. ‘Not everyone’s like that.’
‘Really?’ All the hurt from previous rejections spilled into that one word and it took everything she had for Sienna not to cry.
Instead she wrapped her arms around the girl and held her tight. Totally un-doctor-ish, yet ab
out the best medicine she had to offer right now. Anyway, she was off duty this week, and here for a reason. She pulled back. ‘What do you want to do when you leave school?’
‘Be a lawyer who helps people like me. But I’ll be lucky to get work in a warehouse.’
Sienna nodded. She already knew that. This girl had a huge heart and when she wasn’t letting her situation get her down was always looking out for others on the ward. ‘Okay, Felicity, enough of feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve shown me your exam results for the year. You are an intelligent girl who can be anything she wants.’
‘An astronaut?’ There was a lightening in Fliss’s expression.
‘Since you don’t want to be one, I’m not answering that.’ Movement down the other end of the ward diverted her attention. Harrison was pushing a trolley with a tiny patient into the ward, and he’d spotted her, his eyes being slits of disbelief. It was none of his business that she was here. Turning away, she tugged her phone out of her bag. ‘Don’t go anywhere, Fliss. I’ve got to go make a phone call and then I’ll talk to you some more.’ She shot into the nearest room and hit Anna’s number, and crossed her fingers her friend wasn’t with a client. They hadn’t been able to set a time for this conversation.
Anna came on the line. ‘This still about Felicity or have you decided to sue your bike for taking you over that edge?’
‘I could try the manufacturer for a pay-out but I think there’ll be a clause somewhere that says any cyclist stupid enough to get distracted by a mental picture of a hot man needs to see a shrink, not demand restorative justice.’
Anna laughed. ‘I knew it. He’s got to you.’
Sienna closed her eyes and shook her head slowly from side to side. Stupid. She’d fed Anna enough to keep her busy nagging from now until the following Christmas. Lifting her eyelids, she stared through the door to that gorgeous sight of red overalls hiding a perfect body. At least he’d gone back to concentrating on his patient.
‘I haven’t got all day,’ Anna muttered.
‘Are you still okay about talking to Felicity?’ Every year Anna found work for a teenager who had problems in their background in one form or another, and needed money and support. ‘Sure.’
‘Right, hang on while I take the phone to Felicity.’
Fliss was still sprawled over her bed looking blankly at the ceiling.
Am I doing the right thing?