“I know that.” I want to take her hands, but I can’t stand the thought of her pulling away from me again. “You’ve suffered enough for several lifetimes. I don’t want you to suffer any more if there’s anything I can do about it.”
Harlow gives a sad little laugh. “That’s the thing. There isn’t anything you can do about it. I could have gone with Abel and worked behind the scenes to ensure that any coup he attempted would fail. Instead, you handed the entire faction over to him without a second thought.”
“I wouldn’t ask that of you.” In that moment, I hadn’t thought of anything at all except that I couldn’t watch Abel take the woman I loved.
“That’s the problem.” Harlow pushes to her feet and drags her fingers through her hair. “I can’t do this with you. We just keep going round and round. I…” She looks away. “I was going to leave you anyway.”
I suspected as much, but there’s something about hearing her say it aloud that shocks the hell out of me. “What?”
“After Lammas. I was already planning on it.”
“Why? I have tried everything I could think of to make you happy.”
“You tried everything.” Harlow gives a bitter little laugh and turns away. “The fact that you actually think that after everything we’ve talked about in the last twelve hours just proves leaving is the right choice. You tried everything except the one thing I needed from you. I can’t do this. I can’t keep letting you bottle me up as if I’m made of something more fragile than glass. You’re suffocating me, Eli. You have been for a long time. You don’t trust me, you don’t see me.”
Something ugly surges in my chest. “And Abel does.”
She spins back to face me. “I never said that.”
“You stood at his side and told our people to leave.”
“To save them, you asshole. You weren’t going to do it. Someone had to.”
I stalk closer to her. I have been so fucking careful with Harlow. So cognizant of how much she’s survived, of how much better she deserves. Her father almost killed her dozens of times over before she finally put a knife in his chest. And then she spent years drifting about the faction, doing whatever it took to survive. She deserves to be protected, to be indulged. I knew shit had gone sideways between us, but I didn’t realize it was because she resented that I was trying to do right by her. “So you jump into bed with Abel to punish me.”
“No, Eli.” Derision drips from each word. “I jumped into bed with Abel because I am his Bride, and it’s my duty. You swallowed down his cock for the same fucking reason.”
I’ve been trying really hard not to think about the feeling of Abel’s cock in my mouth. Or the way he pinned me to the wall and bit the back of my neck in some sort of twisted mating ritual earlier. I hate the man. My body might not have fully gotten the memo, but I’ve never been one to let control slip over something as inconvenient as lust.
Or at least I never used to be that guy.
Now, I don’t know who I am.
“Are you going to keep fucking him, Harlow?”
She lifts her chin, a sure sign that I’m not going to like the answer. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“You know what? You’re right.” I shake my head slowly. “I don’t fucking know you. The woman I fell in love with would never consider him.”
“Then you fell in love with a fantasy and not a real person.” She practically snarls the words.
I don’t know who moves first. One second we’re glaring at each other from a few inches away. The next her arms are around my neck, and I’m grabbing her ass and hauling her body against mine. For the first time since I met her, I’m not thinking about anything but getting inside her. Not about her pleasure. Not about her past. Not about our future going up in ashes with every word we hurl at each other.
I take her mouth just shy of violently, and she meets me halfway. Her nails dig into my neck and drag down to my shoulders, and I relish the pain. This deserves to hurt. It’s goodbye, after all. We might be Abel’s Brides, but that’s the only thing connecting us right now. That and far too much hurt and resentment.
I shove Harlow back onto the bed and go for the front of her jeans. She lifts her hips to help me yank them down her legs, and then she’s hooking the front of my pants and shoving them aside to get at my cock.
A small voice whispers that I should slow down, should make sure she’s ready, but I ignore it. It’s as if someone else is riding shotgun in my skin. I hook her legs and drag her to the edge of the bed, and then she’s guiding my cock into her pussy. I slam into her and curse. Fuck, she feels good. She always feels so goddamn good. Everything else might change, but that won’t.