“You don’t understand,” said Helen in a harsh whisper. “Outside of Idris, every entrance to Faerie is guarded now, and has been since the disaster in the Council Hall. The Fair Folk know that the Nephilim hold them to blame. Even if you took the moon’s road, the phouka who guards it would report your entry immediately, and you would be greeted with swords on the other side.”
“What do you propose, then?” Mark demanded. “Leaving our brother and Emma in Faerie to die and rot? I have been abandoned in Faerie, I know how it feels. I will never let that happen to Emma and Julian!”
“No. I propose that I go after them. I am not an enemy in Faerie. I will go straight to Nene. She will help me.”
Mark sprang to his feet. “You cannot go. The children need you here. Someone needs to take care of them.”
“Aline can take care of them. She’s already doing a better job than I am. The children don’t even like me, Mark.”
“They may not like you but they love you,” Mark said furiously, “and I love you, and I will not lose another sibling to Faerie!”
Helen straightened up—though she was nowhere near as tall as her brother, which unnerved her now—and glared at Mark. “Neither will I.”
“I might have a solution,” Cristina said. “There is an heirloom of the Rosales family. We call it the Eternidad, to mean a time that has no beginning or end, like time in Faerie. It will allow us to enter Faerie undetected.”
“Will you let me take it?” said Mark.
“I do not have it quite yet—and only a Rosales may properly use it, so I will go.”
“Then I will go with you,” said Kieran, who had propped himself up on his elbows. His hair was mussed and there were shadows under his eyes.
“You’re awake?” said Mark.
“I’ve been awake for a while,” Kieran admitted. “But I pretended to be asleep because it was awkward.”
“Hmm,” said Helen. “I think this is what Aline means by radical honesty.”
“Cristina cannot journey into Faerie alone,” said Kieran stubbornly. “It is too dangerous.”
“I agree,” said Mark. He turned to Helen. “I will go with Cristina and Kieran. We work best as a team, the three of us.”
Helen hesitated. How could she let them go, into such danger? And yet that was what Shadowhunters did, wasn’t it? Rush into danger? She wished desperately she could talk to her own mother. Perhaps the better question was, how could she stop them, when Mark and Kieran would be better at navigating Faerie than anyone else? To send Cristina alone would be like sending her into destruction; to send them all meant she might lose Mark as well as Julian. But not to let them go meant to abandon Julian in Faerie.
“Please, Helen,” Mark said. “My brother went to Faerie to save me. I must be able to do the same for him. I have been a prisoner before. Do not make me a prisoner again.”
Helen felt her muscles sag. He was right. She sat down on the bed before she could start crying. “When would you be leaving?”
“As soon as Jaime gets here with the heirloom,” said Cristina. “It’s been nearly an hour since I summoned him with a fire-message, but I don’t know how long it will take him to arrive.”
“Jaime Rosales?” said Mark and Kieran at the same time.
Helen glanced between them. They both looked surprised and a little watchful, as if jealous. She dismissed the thought. She was losing her mind, probably because of the strain.
“Oh, Mark,” she said. In times of strain, the cadence of her voice, like his, slipped into an ancestral faerie formality. “I cannot bear to let you go, but I suppose I must.”
Mark’s eyes softened. “Helen. I am sorry. I promise to come back to you safely, and to bring Julian and Emma back safely as well.”
Before Helen pointed out that this wasn’t a promise he could truly make, Kieran cleared his throat. The sound was very ordinary and human and nearly made Helen smile despite herself.
“I would that I had ever had a sibling who loved me as much as you love each other,” he said, sounding very much like a prince of Faerie. The semblance was quickly dispelled, though, when he cleared his throat again and said, “In the meantime, Helen, I must ask you to remove yourself from my leg. You are sitting on it and it is becoming quite painful.”
* * *
“Some monsters are human,” said Gwyn. They were in Diana’s rooms on Flintlock Street. She lay crosswise on her bed, her head in Gwyn’s lap as he stroked her hair. “Horace Dearborn is one of them.”
Diana brushed her hand along the wool of Gwyn’s tunic. She liked seeing him like this—without his helmet or mail, just a man in a worn tunic and scuffed boots. A man with pointed ears and two-colored eyes, but Diana had stopped seeing those as odd. They were just part of Gwyn.
“I believe there are good people in the Council,” Diana said. “They are frightened. Of Horace as well as his dire predictions. He has seized a great deal of power in a short time.”
“He has made Idris unsafe,” said Gwyn. “I wish you to leave Alicante, Diana.”
She sat up in surprise. “Leave Alicante?”
“I have seen a great deal of history,” said Gwyn. “Terrible laws are usually passed before they are repealed after much suffering. Small-mindedness and fear have a way of winning out. You have told me Horace and his daughter do not like you.”
“No,” said Diana. “Though I don’t know why—”
“They fear your influence,” said Gwyn. “They know others listen to you. You are very persuasive, Diana, and startlingly wise.”
She made a face at him. “Flatterer.”
“I am not flattering you.” He stood up. “I am afraid for you. Horace Dearborn may not be a dictator yet, but he yearns to be one. His first move will to be to eliminate all who stand against him. He will move to extinguish the brightest lights first, those who illuminate the pathway for others.”
Diana shivered. She could hear the hooves of his horse pacing back and forth across her roof. “You are bitter, Gwyn.”
“It is possible I do not always see the best in people,” he said, “as I hunt down the souls of slain warriors on the battlefield.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Are you making a joke?”
“No.” He looked puzzled. “I meant what I said. Diana, let me take you from here. We would be safe in Faerie. At night the stars are a thousand colors and during the day the fields are full of roses.”
“I cannot, Gwyn. I cannot abandon this fight.”
He sat back down on the bed, hanging his shaggy head in weariness. “Diana . . .”
It was strange after so long to feel the desire to be close to someone, physically as well as emot
ionally. “Did you not tell me that the first time you saw me, you cared for me because I was so brave? You would now like me to be a coward?”
He looked at her, emotion naked on his lined face. “It is different now.”
“Why would it be different?”
He curved his big hands around her waist. “Because I know that I love you.”
Her heart gave a strong flutter inside her chest. She had not expected such words from anyone, had considered it a price she would pay for being transgender and Nephilim. She had certainly never expected to hear it from someone like Gwyn: who knew all there was to know about her, who could not lie, a prince of wild magic.
“Gwyn,” she said, and cupped his face in her hands, bending to kiss him. He leaned back, gently drawing her with him until they lay upon the bed, her heart beating fast against the roughness of his tunic. He curved over her, his bulk casting a shadow across her body, and in that shadow she closed her eyes and moved with the movements of his gentle kisses and touches as they turned sweeter and sharper, until they reached together a place where fear was gone, where there was only the gentle alliance of souls who had left loneliness behind.
* * *
Helen had gone to tell Aline what was going on; Mark couldn’t guess how late it was, but he could no longer see moonlight through the window. He was sitting on the mattress next to Kieran, and Cristina had curled herself into the chair beside the bed.
He avoided meeting her eyes. He knew he had done nothing wrong by kissing her, or she by kissing him. He remembered the last time he had spoken to Kieran alone, in the London Sanctuary. How Kieran had touched the elf-bolt that hung around Mark’s neck. It had become a symbol, of sorts, of the two of them. What Kieran had said next still rang in his ears: We will be done with each other.
He didn’t know if he could explain what he felt to Kieran, or even to Cristina. He knew only that he did not feel done: not with Kieran, nor with Cristina should Kieran choose to return to him.