“The police just left,” he said.
“Why?” I asked slowly. Had they arrested Creed? Griff hadn’t pressed any charges.
Chet ran a hand over his face and I saw unshed tears in his eyes.
“Chet, tell me what is wrong, now,” I demanded.
He took a deep breath and walked over to me then bent down in front of me and took both my hands. “They found Creed’s Jeep,” he began, but as understanding started dawning on me, I shook my head and stood up pushing him back.
“No, they didn’t,” I said and walked over to the fireplace, needing some space to breathe. It felt small in here suddenly. Not large enough for two people. The walls felt as if they were closing in on me.
“It was in the marsh, Sailor. Deep.”
“NOOOO!!!” I screamed then and bent over, not wanting him to finish. I could not listen to this. I refused to. It was a nightmare and I needed to wake up. I was exhausted and when I didn’t get enough sleep, I had terrible dreams.
A hand touched my shoulder and I jerked away from it. “They can’t find the body,” he said then and I stood up gasping for air.
“He’s okay then. He got out,” I said, wanting to cry from relief. Why hadn’t he told me that first?
“They think he tried…but he was very drunk. The last person to see him was Dalm and he said he thought Creed was staying the night at their place. They didn’t know he had left until the cops arrived there looking for him three hours ago.”
“He got out,” I repeated, hating Chet for saying otherwise. Creed was not in that Jeep. He was alive.
“They’ve checked all the hospitals and hotels nearby, they’ve even called his mother and she’s checked his house. There would have been no way for him to get that far anyway. There weren’t even hotels near where he drove into the water and it was after two this morning when it happened.”
I refused to stand here and listen to this. “They didn’t find a body. He will show up today. He’s alive.” I moved past Chet to get my coat and my purse. I was leaving. I’d go find him myself.
“Sailor, where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to find Creed,” I stated the obvious.
“The marsh is deep where he went in but his Jeep didn’t sink all the way because the back wheels were stuck in the mud. He was drunk, and if he managed to get out, he sank. A part of his shirt was torn and stuck to the doorframe.”
I held up my hands. “STOP TALKING!” I yelled. I needed him to stop telling me all the ways Creed couldn’t have survived.
The door to Griff’s room opened. “What’s going on?” he asked in a gruff whisper then winced from the sound.
“Nothing. I am leaving,” I said and spun around to open the door and get out of this apartment.
“Sailor, you don’t have a car, and even if you did, you are in no state to drive,” Chet said walking toward me.
“I can call an Uber,” I told him, ready to run if I had to in order to get out of this apartment.
“The cops,” he started to say.
“KNOW NOTHING. Creed is not…he is not…” I couldn’t’ finish that sentence. My knees went weak then and I grabbed the door knob to hold myself up.
Chet was there then, helping me stand and moving me back toward the sofa. A sob tore from my chest and I crumbled onto the worn leather, my body wracking uncontrollably with sobs. I heard Chet and Griff talking, but I couldn’t focus on their words.
I felt the sofa sink as someone sat down beside me.
“What can I do?” Griff asked.
“Nothing. I just need Creed to wake up and let us know where he is,” I said, not looking at him. I stayed in a fetal position and tried to process what I knew. There was no body. I held onto that as tightly as I could. It was all that kept me from falling apart. Creed wouldn’t leave me.
“What can we do?” Griff then asked Chet.
“We wait. If he’s alive, we will know soon enough. If there is a way,” he paused then. “If he’s out there, he’ll show up.”
I hated Chet for saying “if.” I hated myself for coming here last night. I hated Griff for showing up drunk and causing this all to happen. I hated the police for believing Creed couldn’t have gotten out of the Jeep.
Why hadn’t he stayed at Dalm’s? I told him that we would talk tomorrow. I told him I just needed some space. Why didn’t he just wait?
The day went on, and Creed never showed up. The Coast Guard began dragging the marsh and my world became a dark place I no longer recognized. I had lost Creed when I was seventeen and a miracle brought him back to me. Life was cruel and cold. It only gave me complete joy long enough for me to know what it felt like, before snatching it away from me.