“Creed and I found her that day. He never spoke to me again. He shut me out. After her funeral, I didn’t see him until the day I moved back here.”
Dad let out a low long whistle. “Damn, honey. That’s tough.” He took another drink of his whiskey. I heard him swallow, even if my eyes were still closed. “So, you saw Creed again and realized you weren’t done loving him? Is that what I am getting from this?”
I nodded my head then lifted it and opened my eyes to look at my father. “It wasn’t fair to Griff,” I said.
He studied the drink in his glass a moment then looked back at me. “Are you losing sleep because you miss Griff?”
“No,” I replied. “Creed and I…we aren’t talking right now. I thought he loved me. He said he did. I’m just not sure if I can trust him. The truth is I’m afraid I love the boy he was and I don’t know the man he has become. I’m so mixed up and confused.”
Dad nodded. “But you don’t regret breaking things off with Griff?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No, I just hate that I hurt him.”
Dad reached over and covered my hand with his. “Ignoring things doesn’t make them go away. If you avoid the confrontation, you lose the relationship. Trust me I know. I’ve lost several wives that way. You gotta go talk to Creed. Tell him the truth. Tell him how you feel. Face it. Because you may just lose him again and there won’t be a third chance.”
I sat there thinking that over. Was I avoiding him or was he avoiding me? Did it matter who was doing the avoiding? I didn’t want to lose Creed. I felt complete when I was with him. I wanted to understand where we stood and if we had a future. I could let him break my heart now or prolong it. I was tired of wasted time with Creed.
It may be that for once my dad was right when it came to relationships.
Twenty-seven
November 23, 2019
When I pulled my car into the driveway, I looked over at Creed’s house, but his Jeep wasn’t there. I’d spent the entire limo ride back from Boston to my car in Portsmouth alone, thinking about what I was going to say to him. I was prepared and anxious, but it seemed I’d have to wait longer.
Walking inside the dark, cold house didn’t help my mood. In less than a week, Creed had made his mark here. I had memories here with him that made me blush and made my heart hurt. Dad had asked me last night that if I had known Creed wasn’t ready for an exclusive relationship would I still have cheated on Griff.
My answer had been yes. I felt guilty about that but what was done was done. I should have broken things off with Griff before cheating; I messed up. I didn’t regret breaking up with Griff, but I did miss him.
I went to take a shower after starting the fire in the living room. Once I was refreshed and dressed in leggings and a hoodie, I decided to go for a walk. It was sunny and forty-five degrees. Granted in Nashville that would be considered cold, but I was starting to enjoy the weather when it got above forty degrees. I put on a coat and gloves, though, before heading back outside. Being outside kept me from getting in a funk while I waited for Creed to come home. I considered calling him but chose not to. I could wait.
I didn’t get very far down the road when Jack’s truck slowed beside me. “How’s the firewood?” he asked with his window down.
I shaded my eyes from the sun with my hand and looked up at him. “Great, thank you,” not sure if firewood could be bad.
He chuckled. “I mean do you have enough? I know you burn fires for heat in that house daily. Wasn’t sure if you wanted me to go ahead and get you some more before it’s gone.”
Oh. I hadn’t thought about that. “I’m not sure,” I replied honestly. “I don’t know how to gauge that.”
Jack gave me a wide grin. “I can stop by and check.”
“Thank you,” I told him. “If I need more, just tell me how much. I’ll get you the money.”
He winked. “I know you’re good for it. Enjoy the sunshine,” he said then rolled up his window and drove away.
I started walking again when I paused to glance back toward the house to see if Jack was stopping now to check. I didn’t see Jack, but I did see Creed’s Jeep pulling into his drive. I watched him until he disappeared behind the house. I had been so ready to go face him when I got home, but now I was nervous. Unsure if he’d want to talk to me.