I gasped and my face heated then the space between my legs tingled. Oh, god I was a horny cheating slut.
“When you’re clothed, we will talk,” he said then bent down and kissed the tip of my nose. “Please go get clothes on. I’m only so strong.”
I don’t know if I was more worried about him doing what he threatened or the fact I was excited about what he had threatened to do that sent me hurrying up the stairs.
Once I was safely in my room, I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine then headed to my closet for leggings with the warm lining and a sweatshirt. Feeling safely dressed and trying hard not to think about being bent over the sofa by Creed, I took several deep steadying breaths.
Creed was in the kitchen when I returned, and I refused to even look in the living room. The damn sofa was in there. The place of my treachery.
I walked into the kitchen and Creed handed me a cup of coffee. I muttered a thank you, unable to make eye contact with images of him bending me over the sofa still fresh in my head.
“I’m not going to say I’m sorry. Nothing about last night do I regret,” he said, walking over to sit down at the table, leaving me the spot closest to the fire.
I took a drink of my coffee and paused realizing it was exactly the way I drank it. I looked up at him then and he shrugged. “I told you I know you. I pay attention to you. I always have.”
Not always. I caught myself from blurting that out. There had to be a better way to talk about this other than me shouting all the wrongs he’d done to me. He had shut me out after Cora’s death. I just didn’t know how to say it. How did I bring up the worst day of our lives?
I sat down and put my cup on the table. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. It needed to happen, but right now, there was Griff.
“I’m a cheater,” I said simply. That was the biggest issue I was dealing with currently.
He didn’t respond right away. I wasn’t sure he was going to. What was he supposed to say anyway “yeah you are” or “shit happens”?
“I love him,” I added for my benefit because I did. I needed reminding.
“He was there for you when you needed someone. Of course, you love him. But are you in love with him?”
I opened my mouth to say “YES” but it didn’t come out. Was I in love with him? Could I have so willingly had wild hot sex with another man if I was in love with him? Or was I just lonely and Creed was here to fill the need. I looked at Creed and the emotion in my chest that always came with him was there. It was more than needing sex. Could I love two men at once?
“You’ll tell him. You won’t be able to live with yourself if you don’t. Just be sure what you want from him when you do.”
What did that mean? “I want him not to hate me,” I said, already knowing what I wanted.
He nodded once. “And that’s your answer.”
Frowning, I slammed my fist on the table a little too dramatically. “What is my answer? You’re just confusing me.”
“You want him not to hate you. If you were in love, you would want him to forgive you.”
“Of course I want him to forgive me! That’s what I meant,” I shot back frustrated.
Creed raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”
“Stop,” I said forcefully, standing up and walking away from the table. I needed space because I was close to hitting him.
I heard the legs of his chair scrap across the floor and his footsteps as he walked toward me. I stood at the kitchen sink staring straight out the window. I didn’t want to believe that I wasn’t in love with Griff. I hated the idea.
Creed’s hands rested on either side of the sink caging me in. His chest was against my back and he was warm. My body wanted to melt against him, but my brain was currently calling the shots.
“I didn’t want to want you. When I saw you in that apartment, I didn’t want to feel anything. It was easier to forget the past because with it was the memory of Cora,” he said her name with obvious pain. “But seeing you again only proved what I already knew. I could run from you, but you owned me and there was not a fucking thing I could do to make that go away.”
I closed my eyes and wished his words didn’t affect me. Right now, I was supposed to be thinking of my feelings for Griff. How to tell him and not lose him.