My phone rang then and I saw Creed’s name. Frustration about his lie and Griff not coming to the party tonight snowballed.
“You’re an ass, Creed Sullivan. I do not want to be one of your many females. I don’t like someone thinking that I would be okay as your fuck buddy. It’s insulting. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to listen to your cousin tell me how she hoped we could evolve into more because of our history?” Okay, now I was fuming. The more I talked the louder I got.
“I didn’t mean it that way. She asked who I was taking the chowder to and I told her it was you. She remembered Cora talking about you…and me before. She thought we were back together and I didn’t want to give her your life details, so I said no, we were just friends. She assumed you were like my other female friends or fuck buddies as you call them. I didn’t correct her. I just got out of the house. My staying the night didn’t help. I will make sure she knows the truth. I’m sorry, Sailor.”
That all made sense but I wasn’t done being mad. I wasn’t sure I was even mad at him anymore but I was just mad. “Fine! You do that!” I said too loudly then hung up. Staring at my phone, I burst into tears and threw it down on the sofa.
The tears started slow at first, then I was bent over in a full-blown bawl. I missed Griff. I missed being with him. I missed the fun we had together. I was almost positive he didn’t miss me. He didn’t act like he missed me and it hurt. I kept thinking we would get settled into a routine and be able to see each other more, but every day that passed that he didn’t make it to see me, I began to fear we never would.
Backing up I sat down on the coffee table and held my head in my hands and cried until my tears dried up. All the pent up frustration, anger, anguish, and fear that I had been ignoring broke free. Missing what Griff and I had in Nashville, accepting the fact Creed was now back in my life, not feeling as if I belonged anywhere, it all had become too much. Pretending I was okay wasn’t helping me. I had become a ball of emotion.
When I was done, I felt lighter. The anger was gone but the sadness was still there. It just had less power to control me. I’d let it out and I felt stronger.
I sat for a few more moments and did some breathing exercises I learned in counseling then wiped my face dry. I was going to be okay. Griff and I were going to be okay. This was a rough patch but it was life and we would get through it. I didn’t think Griff was sitting around crying. He had too much studying for that. It was just me who was struggling. I was the one who needed to toughen up and get through it.
Standing back up, I made my way to the stairs to take another shower. It felt like I needed it to wash away the rest of the sorrow. Tonight, I would have a wonderful time doing what I loved to do. Nothing else was going to bring me down.
seventeen
A better choice in shoes would have been the only thing I would’ve changed about tonight. Smiling into my flute of champagne, I took a small taste and let Albert handle the questions for a moment. The museum was full of men dressed in tuxedos and women adorned with diamonds. The guests didn’t intimidate me, although Ambre had seemed concerned earlier today that they would. Neither Ambre nor Albert knew who my father was, and even if I told them, I didn’t think they’d be impressed. Neither of them appeared to be fans of country music.
I liked that about my job too. At work, I was myself, Sailor Copeland. Not Denver Copeland’s daughter. In Nashville, I wasn’t afforded that privacy. I had to deal with cameras going off in my face if I went out on a date and cameras going off that I didn’t see when I did something as simple as swimming. Griff had been great about our first date being on the cover of a gossip magazine.
My eyes caught a couple standing over by the Custode Segreto, a painting of a young girl hidden partially behind a door. It left one wondering what it was she saw, what it was she was hiding from, or who it was she was hiding from. I loved the depth of darkness the artist had taken to bring you into the moment. Worried for the child. You didn’t want her to get caught.