“How you doing, girl?” Beauty asked as she walked over to me. I liked Beauty. Out of all the old ladies, I felt a kinship with her. She’d seen some shit in life, but she was happy and filled with sass. She was my fucking inspiration.
Beauty checked around to see if anyone was looking. Not really giving two shits if they were. She took the coffee Lilah had just placed in my hand and poured in a couple of shots of bourbon from the hip flask she had hidden in her “Property of Tank” cut. I looked at Lilah to see her scowling. A loud laugh slipped from my lips.
“I’m good.” For the first time in a long time, I meant it. “It’s been one hell of a rough road, but I’m getting there.”
“And Hush and Cowboy?” Bella asked. I saw the sympathy in her eyes. Like me, she was with a man, or in my case, men, who the club had deemed traitors, or as going against the club’s rules. Yet she loved Rider to death. She loved him fucking proudly.
I smiled. “They’re good.” That was true too. Cowboy was his usual cocky self again, almost fully recovered from his injuries. Hush was still a little bruised and battered. But the biggest change in him had been . . . him. He was smiling and, fucking stealing my heart, he was talking.
He would always be quiet; that was just his nature. But he talked to me. They were always kissing me, making love to me . . . loving me. I’d never been so happy in my entire life. I only wished the club would welcome them back. There had been nothing but radio silence on that front since Mexico.
“They’ll come around.” I lifted my head. I’d been lost to my thoughts, eyes fixed on the coffee in my hand. Mae had been the one to talk. She was cradling her belly, rubbing her pronounced bump. It wouldn’t be long before Styx became a father.
Styx as a father. I was still trying to wrap my head around that. I gave a weak smile. “I hope so.” I looked out of the window, looking out for any sign of Ky. “They belong to this club. It’s their life.” A sudden protective rush of anger took over me. “Just because they’re with me shouldn’t mean jack shit. So fucking what? I want both of them. Love both of them. Who cares? Why should anyone care as long as they treat me right? And they do. So fucking good. I can’t believe how lucky I am.” I stopped talking when I felt my blood pressure rise. I laughed without humor. My voice went croaky, but I still managed to say, “I love them. So fucking much it hurts. I . . . I don’t wanna be the reason their club, their family, the reason they live, gets taken from them.”
The room was silent, until a small voice said, “You asked me weeks ago what it felt like.” I lifted my head to see Maddie across the room. She had a flush on her cheeks, her green eyes wide from being in the spotlight. “What it felt like being with Flame.” A small smile echoed on her lips, one that made my heart fucking swell in my chest. “Peace.” She sighed and gently nodded. “I cannot describe it as anything other than peace. With him, together, I am at peace after years of being so desperately unhappy.”
Maddie got up from her seat and came across the room. She hesitated as she reached for my hand. Then she laid her palm over the back of my hand and squeezed. “If that is how your men make you feel, then you must fight for them.” Her huge green eyes bored into mine. “What is love anyway? It is never simple, and never plays by exactly the same rules as for other people who are in love also. Mine and Flame’s love may, to many, seem unusual. But he saved me.” Her breathing hitched. “And I saved him. If you have saved your men and your men have saved you, then you belong together.”
“Thank you,” I said, my eyes shimmering and bottom lip trembling with gratitude. Maddie returned to her seat. Mae held her hand and squeezed.
Beauty slapped her chair. “And fuck, darlin’, it’s the friggin’ twenty-first century! Tell the club to get out of the fucking dark ages and join the new dawn where”—she mock gasped—“a woman can be with two men.” She covered her mouth and put on her best southern-belle accent. “Oh, my Lord! May you strike my ménage-à-trois ass down where I stand.” She rolled her eyes. I laughed. “Stick with your Cajuns.” She waggled her eyebrows. “They’re gorgeous. Many a bitch would wanna be wedged between those hard chests.”
“For us,” Phebe said and gestured to the ladies who’d survived the cult, “the idea of one man and one woman was actually more shocking than what you are living. Love is subjective, no?” She smiled. “I would say that this life is very different from the world outside these Hangmen lands. We are already living an alternative way of life. Your love life is not that strange within these walls.”
“And it helps that the brothers, and bitches like me, would literally kill anyone who had an issue with it.” I laughed at Letti when she shrugged like killing someone was just a daily occurrence in her life.
Beauty seconded her comment by singing, “Hallelujah, sister!”
“Sia?” The sound of Ky’s voice behind me made me jump. I turned to see my brother standing in the doorway.
I got to my feet. “Hey.” I dropped my eyes. I didn’t know what the hell else to say. It was as awkward as shit.
The room was silent. Then, “Come with me.” I lifted my head to see Ky walking out of the cabin. I glanced back at Lilah. She gave me an encouraging smile.
I walked out of the door. Ky was getting on his bike. He tapped the saddle. “Get on, sis.” I climbed on the back of the bike, inhaling the smell of leather. It always reminded me of Ky. When I was younger, he would take me out for rides on his bike. Sometimes for hours, just out on the open road.
We rode around the mass of Hangmen acres until we came to a stream. Ky back-heeled the kickstand and killed the engine. I got off the bike and stretched my arms and legs. Ky sat on the bank of the stream. The sound of the trickling water was soothing as I took my place beside him.
Before we even said a word, Ky turned me to look at the bottom of my neck. I heard the small angry sound that left his throat. I pulled back and got my retaliation in first. “I’m not ashamed.” I met my brother’s furious eyes. “I’m proud to be with him.”
Ky blew out a long breath from his nose. He ducked his head and ran his hands through his long blond hair. When he lifted his head, he remarked, “Fucking two of them, Sia?” I had to keep my mouth from pulling into a smirk. Because there was no malice in his tone. Ky looked at me from the corner of his eye. He shook his head. “I will say that they fucking took up for you.” I listened as I watched a duck land on the stream. “Cowboy, defending you until he was taken too.” He took a deep breath. “And Hush . . .” He laughed. “Came in here like Hades himself, demanding we go after you.” He tensed, then said, “Told me I didn’t want you to be with them because he was black. Or mixed race or whatever the fuck he said.” I closed my eyes, imagining what must have been going through Hush’s head. “Told him it wasn’t. Couldn’t give two shits about that.” Ky clenched his fists. “It’s the thought of those fuckers double-teaming you that makes me see red.”
“Ky!” I sputtered and slapped his arm.
“What?” he continued in all seriousness. “You’re my baby fucking sister. Now you’re in bed with not one but two brothers, who quite honestly could be fucking each other too. All I see in my head whenever you three are mentioned is a conga line of pussy, cocks an
d assholes. It’s fucking with my head!”
“Ky, I fucking love you. But you ever bring shit like this to me again, and I’m gonna cut off your tongue when you sleep.”
“You can’t do that, sis.” He shrugged. “Li couldn’t live without this tongue.” I rolled my eyes and made a gagging sound. Ky put his hand on my wrist. “Seriously. I’ll never mention the conga line again if you never make that sound. Now I got a fucking soundtrack of what you’re like sucking dick.”
I laughed, and it felt real fucking good when Ky laughed too. I laid my head on his shoulder, the leather scent drifting into my nose. I’d missed this. I hated being on the outs with him. “How’s Lilah?”
I looked up to see Ky smile. “She’s better. Fucking strong.” He ran his hands over the thighs of his jeans. “She had a blood test last week. She’s early in her pregnancy, but they wanted to check for a shitload of things.” He cleared his throat. “Asked if we wanted to know what we were having.” My eyes widened. He blew out a long breath, then added, “She’s having a boy.” I snapped my head up, smiling big. “And a girl.”
My mouth dropped. “Twins?”
“Yeah. Li said they run on her father’s side,” he breathed, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “Another fucking girl. I’ll be gray before I’m thirty-five.” His head fell into his hands. “And a boy. Shit,” he said. “I can only imagine the fucking slut that kid’s gonna be.”
I nudged his arm. “Well, you are his father.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “And with an aunt fucking two men, he’s gonna think he’s entitled to all the pussy he can get.”
I breathed out, then said seriously, “Ky? What are you gonna do about Cowboy and Hush and the club?”