That shocked him. “It is just for us. Why would you think it would be for anyone else? I’m not like Ice or Savage, baby. I don’t need an audience. I just don’t give a fuck if they walk in while I’m in you. That just reinforces you’re mine and they’d better protect you. I need the look on your face as a reminder sometimes. If it bothers you . . .”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if it should, but it doesn’t. When you’re moving in me, I don’t honestly care who walks in. I barely notice.”
Love for her welled up so strong, so intense, the pressure in his chest made him feel as if he might be having a heart attack. He pressed his hand over his heart and then bent his head to capture her mouth with his. She moved into him and circled his neck with her arms, her body tight against his.
“Hungry, woman,” Maestro said. “If you’re not cooking dinner, vacate the kitchen with your man and let me give it a try.”
Keys snorted his derision. “Don’t do it, Bree. He can’t cook worth a damn. Give him any instrument to play and he can do it, but a stove? It’s too complicated.”
Maestro snapped a towel at him. “Shut the fuck up. I’m hungry.”
Breezy laughed and dropped her arms from around Steele’s neck. “Get out of here and I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.” She went to the sink and washed her hands.
Steele came up behind her and pressed his body against hers, his hands cupping the firm globes of her ass. “I can help you, baby.”
“You’ll just distract me. Go away. I’ll get this done and call you.”
He kissed the back of her neck. “I’ve asked Lana and Alena to get a jacket made for you. One with my patch declaring you’re my property.” He kept his body pressed tightly against hers knowing he was pushing her hard.
Breezy went completely rigid and he felt her rejection of his club. His jacket. His declaration. She gave a slight shake of her head, but he didn’t move, didn’t let her slide away even when she pushed at the sink to try to make an inch or two between them. This was one of those defining moments when she had to understand what he’d been telling her earlier. Some things were going to go his way and he wouldn’t budge on them.
The club was as necessary to him as breathing. He lived and died by those colors and what they stood for. His colors defined him. His brothers and sisters completed him, filling in all the gaping holes that were there in him. They weren’t eighteen individuals; they couldn’t survive without one another. There was no way to explain that to Breezy, she had to understand by observing it firsthand. They were one unit.
“No.”
“Yes.” He said it firmly. “My club made me the man you fell in love with. That’s who I am. You’re afraid of club life, and I don’t blame you after seeing the Swords, but our club isn’t like that and I wouldn’t be in it if it was.”
She gave a little shake of her head, staring straight ahead at the sink. “I can’t do that. I swore I would never go back to that life, and I don’t want to raise Zane that way.”
“What are you afraid of?” He kept his voice low, inviting her to share her worst fears with him. If she didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t know. Clearly, the fact that his brothers went in and out of the room while he had sex with her wasn’t part of her fears. He wanted her to tell him so he could fix the problem.
“No. I’m not part of the club.”
“This isn’t up for debate, and you know it isn’t. I’m Torpedo Ink. The colors are inked onto my skin. Every one of my brothers will protect you, Breezy, not use you. They’ll protect Zane. You’re mine. I told you that we’ll be doing things my way and I expect you to follow my lead. You knew that going into it. You knew that when you gave me your body. When you gave me your heart. The club is me, Bree. If you reject the club, you’re rejecting me.”
She stayed rigid, her head down, breathing hard. She gave a little shake of her head again. “I don’t see why we can’t be together without me being a part of that life. I can get a job and we can—”
“You know better.” He kept his voice low. Gentle. Absolutely in control. Of him. Of her. Of what their life was going to be. “You will wear my jacket. Do you understand me? You knew who I was, and you still gave yourself to me. I told you there would be no backing out. Fix dinner. I’ll go shower. We’re not going to argue about this. When you’re ready, I expect you to tell me what the problem is.”
Her breath hitched and for a moment his heart pounded, afraid she would cry. That couldn’t happen. He couldn’t give her this. There was no way to resolve it for her if she wouldn’t talk to him. She had to accept who and what he was. He was Torpedo Ink. Every inch of him. She was his choice. The woman he loved, and this was too big a battle to lose, especially when they had to be completely on the same page when they hunted for their son. The things they might find . . .
“What if I can’t do it?”
He put his arms around her, surrounding her with his strength. “You trusted me before when I rode for the worst club there is. You trusted me to keep you safe. You didn’t want to leave me, even when you had the opportunity, Bree. I had to lie to push you away, to keep you safe. You’re trusting me with your body. You’re trusting me with our son. Trust me to take care of you in the club. To know that those in the club would lay down their lives for you and Zane. You won’t just have me protecting the two of you; you’ll have all of them. Every single one of them was trained the same way I was, to be an assassin. The people who took Zane don’t stand a chance against us. You’ll be safe, and so will our children.”
He felt a shudder go through her and he turned her around to face him, his hands gentle. He was shocked at her expression. She was as white as a sheet. Her eyes were wide with shock and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath.
He caught her by the back of her neck and pushed her head down. “Breathe, baby. Take in air.” He had seen that look before too many times. His woman not only didn’t want anything to do with a club, just the idea caused her to flash back to her childhood. He should have known. His heart sank. More than anything, he wanted this. He needed it. But Breezy couldn’t give him something that put that look on her face. Not now. Maybe not ever.
“I’m right here, Breezy. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He crouched down beside her and breathed with her, looking into her eyes. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ll always have you. You don’t want to wear my name on you yet, we’ll shelve it until you can see absolutely that Torpedo Ink is different. That we’re different.”
This was no longer about him. About his need to have her accept him. He was Torpedo Ink, and if she rejected the club, she really was rejecting him. He was expecting too much of her. It had always been Breezy giving him everything. He just expected to get his way.
“Forget I said anything, Bree. Just breathe this away. We’ll talk about things at a later date.”
She straightened slowly, her lashes reluctantly lifting until he was looking into all that green. “I’m so scared,” she whispered. “I was scared every single minute I was growing up.”
“You don’t have to be afraid anymore. We’ll get Zane back and then we’ll talk about it.”
She moistened her lower
lip with her tongue. “I’ll try, Steele.”
He shook his head. “Not like this. Not when you’re terrified. I pushed it too soon.”
“Swear to me.” She turned her head to look at him. “Swear to me Torpedo Ink isn’t anything like the Swords.”
“You have my word, baby, but we’re going to shelve this for now. I don’t want you worrying about it.”
She wrung her hands together, but she was breathing easier. “I’ll say yes, Steele . . .”
“No, baby, you won’t. We’re going to wait until you’re able to talk to me. I know you don’t like disappointing me, but I want us to wait.”
“You’re certain?”
There was a hopeful note in her voice. He rubbed the pad of his thumb gently over her chin. “Absolutely. And you work up the courage to talk to me about what you’re most terrified of. Not now. After we have Zane. I’m good with this, understand?”
She nodded.
He brushed his lips back and forth over hers and then kissed her gently. “Give me ten minutes to shower and then I’ll be right back to help you.”
She nodded again, and he stepped back to give her room to slide away. He was uneasy. They were riding to get their child back. He was willing for the monster to come out to get his son back to her. He was willing to die in order for her to have Zane. His club members would do the same.
Those riding with him were willing to risk their lives. He hoped she would see that, but in doing so, she would also see what they all were. It was one thing to talk of killing other human beings in the abstract, or because she was afraid for her child, but to actually witness it was something else.
Bridges was her father. Junk her half brother. They weren’t good to her, but they were all the family she had. He hadn’t been blowing off steam when he’d said he was going to take them apart before he killed them. Bridges had punched and kicked Breezy. Junk had held his hand over Zane’s mouth and nose, laughing while he did so. They’d taken the toddler from her. They were dead. Steele was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. His club was willing right alongside him. Breezy was about to see the worst in him, and it had nothing whatsoever to do with being a controlling bastard. He loved her enough to curb that. Killing those who threatened her and his child was another matter altogether.