He thought about that while he listened to the sound of the water playing over Breezy’s skin. Survival instincts were strong in him or, like the other children who had succumbed to the torture, he would be dead. If he had died, he would never have met Breezy. He wouldn’t have a son. He wouldn’t be lying in the sun, hearing his woman as she emerged from the pool and tried to sneak up on him. He wouldn’t feel so alive and so happy.
Cold water hit his warm skin and then she was in his lap, laughing, her wet body stretched out over his. He brought his arms up as she buried her face against his throat. Holding her. “Settle.” He growled the order when she went to pull away. He didn’t care that she was wet; he wanted her in his arms.
She relaxed against him. “You bought this house for me, didn’t you?”
He was silent a moment, his breath caught in his lungs. Clouds overhead rode the slight breeze. They looked like white fluff flung into the blue haphazardly. “Yes.”
“You really were going to come for me, weren’t you?”
His gut clenched. So many knots. She was working it all out. At last. He was afraid to hope. He didn’t want her to ever think he had meant one word he’d said to her the night he’d sent her away. He didn’t want her to think he was taking her back into his life because they had a son and he wanted the boy with him.
“Yes. Code’s been looking for a direction on you for the last year. One little footprint was all we needed. You listened when I told you how to go off the grid, didn’t you?”
“Yes. After you sent me away, I knew you’d told me all those things for a reason. In your way, you were still protecting me. That’s what you’re all about, Steele, protection of everyone around you. Just know, I really can stand on my own two feet.”
“I’m very aware of that, Breezy.” He wanted her to depend on him. At the same time, he was proud of her. He relied on that strength she had.
“Why didn’t you tell me straight-out that you had plans to come for me?”
She tried to draw back so she could look at his face, but he held her easily in place, refusing to let her move.
“You wouldn’t have believed me.”
She nodded. “No, I wouldn’t have. Still, there’s more.”
“Didn’t need you knowing you’re my world.” He made the confession gruffly, feeling like a fool. Feeling so fucking vulnerable she might as well have driven a stake through his heart.
Breezy pressed cool lips to his throat. There was a long silence and he didn’t know what that meant. Finally, her hand slid up his arm to cup the side of his face. “You’ve always been my world, since the moment I first saw you. I knew it was you. I don’t mind you knowing that.”
“That’s because you’re courageous, Bree. You don’t mind if I have the upper hand in all things. Why is that? Why doesn’t it bother you that I need to be the one in control?”
Her slender shoulders shrugged, the movement sliding over his skin like a caress. “Control is an illusion, Steele. I learned that a long time ago. It doesn’t matter who appears to have it. We really only can control ourselves. We have choices. You were my choice. Just listening to the sound of your voice always made me happy. I knew you were a good man, even though you rode with the Swords. I have control over me and my wants and needs. You’re both to me. It doesn’t matter what happens in the future, or if we’re together, I know that isn’t going to change.”
He didn’t like that. “We’re going to be together.” He made that a statement. He didn’t like the feeling of vulnerability being with her gave him. He hadn’t allowed himself to be vulnerable to anyone other than his brothers and sisters in Torpedo Ink. That was the reason he hadn’t told her. He didn’t want her to know how vulnerable he was.
“You’re insisting we stay together, Steele. You’re demanding I tell you how I feel and trust you implicitly. I did that once and, in the end, it didn’t work out for us.”
She pushed back hard, and he reluctantly let her up. She sat on the edge of the lounge looking down at him, staring right into his eyes. “You have to commit to us. Just like you’re part of Torpedo Ink, I have to be part of you. You have to be all in. You have to be able to tell me the hard things and not worry that I’m going to do something to hurt you.”
She could tear his heart out, and there was that monster, crouching inside of him, waiting to slip out. What if the pain she caused was so bad the monster got loose? He closed his eyes and started to turn his head away, afraid she would see.
“No, Steele. Look at me. This is our chance, right here. I saw the pictures on the phone. I see this house. Everything in it. I choose to believe that you weren’t inside those women, that your cock always has belonged to me. I’m willing to give us another chance, but you have to give me your full commitment this time.”
“Do you have any idea how fucked up I am, Breezy? How difficult your life is going to be with me? I can give you the world. I can show you in a million ways what you mean to me. I can do that. But you have to live with a control freak. I don’t want you out of my sight. Do you know how many cameras there are in this house? I have an app on my phone so I can look to see where you are and what you’re doing at any time. I’ll smother you. I’ll make you crazy. You have no idea how crazy I can get.”
“I lived with you for a year. You kept me with you every moment and I knew it was for my protection.”
“That was nothing. Nothing.” He spat the word at her because he knew, the more she became aware of the real man she was choosing, the more she’d want to run. Her thumb was moving along his jaw, a soothing gesture because that was Breezy’s way. She soothed him no matter what was happening.
“What do you think I’m going to be like with Zane?” he demanded. “With our children?”
“I think you’ll protect them, because that’s what you do.”
“Damn it, woman. You persist in seeing what you want to see. I want you to be realistic.”
“Then tell me, Steele. Let me decide what I can or can’t live with. Then you won’t have to worry, and you can jump in with both feet or let me leave.”
He shook his head. “That’s the problem right there, baby. You don’t know me. You don’t know that I’m not capable of letting you walk away. I’m willing to put my life on the line so you can live happily with our son if that’s what it takes, but I know as long as you’re somewhere in this world, I’m going to be with you. That’s fucking stalker mentality and if another man did that to you or another woman, I’d kill him.”
Breezy should have been horrified, but instead she smiled serenely, that same old Breezy smile that made him think she was older and wiser than most. “Honey, you’re so far off the mark about yourself you don’t even know. If I didn’t love you, if I truly wanted out, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. You can protest all you want, but just as you watched and studied me, I did you. I spent nearly two years watching you. Talk about being a stalker.”
“Bree . . .” He tried to protest but she shook her head, that smile never faltering—as if she knew absolutely what she was talking about.
“Steele, you might spend time trying to get me to fall back in love, but in the end, if I didn’t love you, you wouldn’t want me. We didn’t have fights . . .”
“Because every single thing went my way. You never opposed me.”
She smiled at him. Sweet. Breezy. Setting his heart on fire. Sometimes looking at her hurt. Really hurt. How had he ever sent her away from him?
“That isn’t true, honey. Think back. Whenever I wanted something, you moved heaven and earth to get it for me. When I didn’t like something, it wasn’t done. I didn’t have to fight with you because you gave me anything I wanted. I’m not a pushover, Steele. I loved belonging to you. I’ll admit I don’t know the first thing about relationships, and maybe ours wouldn’t have suited every woman, but it suited us. I was happy, and I thought you we
re as well.” She tilted her chin at him. “What are you so afraid of? What are you holding back?”
She was too damned intelligent. She had always asked the hard questions. She did know him more than he thought she did, to be able to guess he was hiding something big from her. Hell. “I don’t want you to give me everything and then take it away from me when the going gets tough. And it will.” That was all true.
“I don’t give up, Steele.” She rubbed her hand down her leg. “It’s surprisingly hot out here this afternoon.”
“I don’t want you to get burned, baby. Let’s head into the house. You can shower while I cook something for us.”
“I can do the cooking.” She stood up and wrapped the towel around her waist, leaving her breasts bare. There were faint marks there, little strawberries from the scrape of his teeth. Like a brand. His. He found satisfaction in that.
She had always enjoyed making meals for him when she’d had the chance. He’d set up the kitchen with her in mind, but it was important that she didn’t think he expected her to do all the cooking.