Wrapping my arms around her, I let out a tormented sigh.
“I’m not gonna lie. This thing with Jade is eating away at me. I’m at a total loss.”
Fallon pulls back and giving me a careful smile, she asks, “Have you tried beating her with kindness?”
I let out a burst of laughter. “I seriously don’t think that’s going to work.”I’ve been staying in my room so Jade can get settled without running into me. I shouldn’t give a fuck whether she’s uncomfortable with me here, but I do.
Frustration mixes with the memories of our lost friendship. I can’t stop loving Jade the way she stopped caring about me. It’s not that easy.
Our friendship must’ve meant more to me than it did to her.
Needing a distraction, I open my playlist on my phone and turn up the volume when Love The Way You Lie starts to play.
I let the angry lyrics wash over me, and hurt and frustration boil to the surface. Wanting Jade to know how I feel about this fucking war, I yank my door open. Jase, who was just about to pass by my room to get to his own, freezes like a deer caught in headlights.
Jade yanks her door open, and glares at me, her breaths already rushing over her parted lips.
“Oh,” Jase says as he takes a couple of steps backward. “Fuck.”
Keeping my eyes locked on Jade, I can see heartache mixing with the anger on her face, and I know the lyrics are getting through to her. I’m totally taking it as a win.
My eyes don’t leave hers as the song ends. I lift my phone and press stop, but Jade makes a show of looking at her own phone, and soon a song starts to play. The words are drenched in pain as they drift to me.
And I listen. I force myself to stay rooted, my eyes glued to Jade’s while the words lash at me. Praying. The fucking song hurts, tearing my already fucked up heart to shreds, but I don’t back away. This is the longest we’ve been in the same space since that night.
Hearing just how much Jade is hurting is sobering and tormenting. I always thought we’d somehow be able to work through this, but now I’m not so sure.
Where do I even begin to get past the walls she’s put up between us?
The song is a clear fuck you. Jade has no intention of ever being friends with me again.
When her song ends, I press play on Too Good At Goodbyes. I hope she listens to the lyrics the way I listen to hers. If this is the only way we can talk, then so be it.
Jase ducks low and rushes past our rooms. Before he disappears into his bedroom, he mumbles, “Fun times.”
As Jase takes refuge, other doors around us open, and our friends peek out of their rooms.
“They’re finally communicating,” Mila whispers to Fallon.
While the lyrics drift around us, I silently beg Jade, ‘Don’t think I’m heartless or cold. I don’t want to say goodbye. I still want to mean something to you. But fuck, you keep hurting me, and I’m only human. I’m scared the time will come where I can’t take anymore, and it will really mean the end of us.’
I can’t tell whether Jade can hear what I’m trying to say until she presses play on another song. Yeah, it’s going to be another soul-destroyer. She doesn’t care about what I want or how I feel.
The words You Broke Me First cuts right through me. I can see Jade is affected in the same way, and her raw pain screaming from her eyes is a blow that almost takes me to my knees.
I don’t choose another song, which has Jade continuing her torture session by playing another gut-punching song. It’s angrier than the first two, and I notice how the pain in her eyes dims as rage takes its place.
Crossing my arms, I lean against the door jamb while the tension keeps building. I don’t miss how Jade’s breaths keep coming faster.
I hate seeing her like this.
When I’m Not Afraid starts, Jade’s body tenses. After a couple of seconds, her anger wins out, and dropping her phone, she lunges forward.
Her arms come around my waist, and with a sweep of her foot, she takes my legs from under me, dropping my ass to the ground. I don’t have time to admire the move because she straddles me and slams a fist against my jaw.
My first instinct is to restrain her, but when a tear splats against my face, my body goes lax, and I let Jade have her way.
I don’t stop her fists, and I take all her anger and sorrow.
Kao is the first to grab hold of Jade, but Noah has to help pull her off of me.