Searching for Always (Searching For 4) - Page 30

He was crude, and rude, and impossible. Why had she ever thought for a moment something could work with them? Or had she? Maybe her body had just responded and her brain had melted like a Popsicle. So embarrassing.

She clenched her fists and shimmered with outrage. "Don't talk to me like that," she snapped. "I will not have you bullying me on the street. We'll talk in class or not at all, and you'll just have to respect that. Now move."

She didn't wait for his answer. This time she ducked and fled down the street, hurrying into her car. There. Take that. This was better, anyway. They'd be a disaster, and maybe his holding back was a sign for her to stop the crazy train ride before it was too late.

A few blocks in, she noticed the big muscle car bullying her on the road, keeping tight to her bumper. She seethed, maneuvering through the town until she got to her bungalow. Parking quickly, she climbed out and stomped over. He did the same, slamming the door and facing her down.

"How dare you follow me! I should've stopped short and forced you to rear-end me. Don't cops know how to drive, or are you too big and bad to follow your own rules?"

He made a noise deep in his throat and sneered, "If I had followed my rules, I would've had your pretty ass locked up last week in my jail. To say I'm regretting it is the fucking understatement of the year."

"Watch your language," she hissed. "My neighbor likes to spy. I suggest you take your car and your attitude and leave." Turning her back, she marched up the stairs, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

He was right behind her.

"Hey! I didn't invite you in!"

"Too bad," he said. He shut the door behind him. "I don't feel like yelling at you in the damn street."

"What's your problem? Are you frustrated because I didn't fall all over myself trying to catch you over one lousy kiss? Get over it. I'm your teacher, and that's all I'm ever going to be."

He gritted his teeth and hissed, "I'm telling myself to breathe right now, woman. If I don't, I'm gonna lose my shit. And guess what? It's not working, just like I tried to tell you."

"Stop cursing!"

"Stop being a damn hypocrite!"

Arilyn panted for breath and tried to scramble for calm. Dear God, she was supposed to set a good example, but this man drove her to the insane asylum within minutes. "A hypocrite? Oh, this will be interesting. How do you possibly imagine I'm a hypocrite?"

He moved closer. The air between them sizzled and crackled. Her breasts lifted as she tried to draw in air, and his gaze roved over her body, trying to eat her alive. The anger combusted and turned into something dangerous and dark, but Arilyn fought with all her strength not to surrender. His husky growl dragged over her skin like velvet and thorns. "Oh, you are one. Begging us to tell you our secrets, and the moment we do, you judge. You disappoint me."

"What are you talking about?"

"The divorce," he ground out. "You heard I was divorced and judged me. Hell, I didn't even get a trial, just a conviction." He leaned in, his minty breath striking her mouth. "Sorry I don't have a clean, pure past like you do. I made a crapload of mistakes, rolled around in the muck, and moved on. Sorry if I'm not good enough, but you don't have to ignore me and treat me like I'm the Elephant Man. I get it. I won't bother you again."

Each word struck a deliberate blow. Her lungs collapsed, and before he turned, she reached out and grabbed his arm. "It wasn't like that," she said. "I wasn't judging you."

"Yeah. Sure. I saw the look on your face. Must be nice not to have made mistakes."

Arilyn shook, fighting to understand the strong connection between them. Fighting the whole mess that threatened to overwhelm her. Still, he couldn't go without knowing the truth. Her fingers tightened around his arm, refusing to let him walk away. Her voice tore out in ragged fragments. "It wasn't your divorce. I don't care about that, I never did. It's--"

"What?" He leaned back in. His demand vibrated against her skin, almost tangible with its command. "Tell me."

"You never told me." She half closed her eyes, not wanting him to see the depth of her emotions, then forced herself to face it for both of them. "I was hurt. I felt . . . stupid. It was a huge part of your life, and you didn't say anything in counseling. It wasn't in your file. I had no idea, and when you threw it out in class, like it was no big deal, I got hurt." Her cheeks flushed. "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. But don't think I was judging you. I was judging me, and my reaction to it." Arilyn forced a laugh. God, this was a humiliation he'd never let her live down. One lousy kiss and she wanted a heart-to-heart. "Can we just forget this whole thing? I'm sorry. We can go back to class and maybe, in a strange way, be friends. Or maybe not. I don't know anymore," she muttered. Stop, Arilyn, just stop. It was getting so much worse, and then he closed his eyes as if her confession made things awkward. Desperate for distance, she let go of his arm and took a step back.

He reached out and yanked her close.

Her breath stopped. Those inky eyes snapped open and suddenly she was gazing into a pit of seething, raw desire. Very deliberately, he slid the pins holding her tight topknot in place out of her hair one by one. She stared, helpless, until the long strands hung down to her waist, masking her face. Never breaking his slow motions, he twisted his fingers into her hair and tugged her head back.

"I don't want to be your friend," he growled.

Arilyn stiffened. Every inch of her body tingled. "Fine, we're not friends. You've never been civil anyway."

"You're right. I'm not civil or even civilized when I get near you. Wanna know what I really want to do?"

"No."

"Tough shit. Gonna tell you anyway." A low moan escaped her lips, because she was burning up for him and hated every minute of it. "I want to strip these organic clothes from your body, lay you out on the bed, and explore every inch. Bite, suck, lick. I want to push inside that wet heat I know is waiting for me and make you come so hard you won't be able to speak for at least five full minutes. I want to do bad things to you, Arilyn. Dirty things. Things that would shock you to the core and cause you to run screaming out the door if you're a nice girl. Are you a nice girl?"

Her skin was on fire. Her ears roared and her thighs clenched in a desperate attempt to stop the rush of warm liquid trickling between them. This type of arousal was insane. Wrong on so many levels. Stone Petty was the type of man who would take his pleasure, be rough, and demand she leave nothing behind. There would be no sweetness or tender words. There would be no gentle care when he finally took her, or slow smiles, or easy climbs to a pleasurable orgasm.

If she surrendered, he'd wreck her completely. He was dangerous.

She was a good girl.

She craved a healthy, satisfying relationship. A deep, abiding friendship with a man on the same spiritual quest. She was searching for always. Forever. He'd give nothing but physical satisfaction and wouldn't look twice when he walked back out the door in the morning.

She was a good girl.

His grip never gentled, but his voice softened. Stone leaned over, his mouth inches from hers. Their breath mingled. She watched, hypnotized, while he ran the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip, bestowing little nips until she began to sag in his arms and moved an inch forward for more.

"You're not sure, are you, little one?" he murmured, pressing that lush, soft mouth to hers in tiny kisses that did nothing but inflame. "You're caught between what you know you should want and what your deepest fantasies torment you to ask for. I warned you that you owed me a favor. I can't be the one to take constantly. You need to walk into this with your eyes wide-open, because I'm a son of a bitch and I know it. Here's my price for saving you and the dog: when you're ready to take the leap with me, you have to ask."

She fought for sanity, but that wicked mouth kept teasing, caressing her jaw, the sensitive slope of her neck, biting, licking, making her crazy. "Ask for what?" she managed to ground out. Another bite on her earlobe caused a shudder to wrack her body.

"God, you're so responsive.

I could devour you whole."

"You smell so good," she muttered. She wanted to savor the deliciousness of woods and musk. Of sweat and man.

His low laugh raked across her ears. His erection notched between her thighs, tempting her to be a very bad, bad girl. "I'm not gonna force you and hear you cry foul in the morning. When you're ready to take the leap, to seize the moment and not think about tomorrow, or what fits in your overall plan, you ask. Ask me to take you."

"I can't." The idea of asking a man to take her to bed, to be so vulnerable before a man who was not her lover or boyfriend, horrified her. Scared her. Paralyzed her.

"You will. Because that's the price." He licked the place where her shoulder connected to her neck and she cried out.

"How do you know I won't lie?"

"Because you're honest. You told me the truth today even though you didn't want to. I trust you. And I'll know from the look on your face."

This was the craziest bargain she'd ever heard of. It wouldn't be a problem. She could just keep a safe distance, bury herself in work, and after the course was over she wouldn't see him again. She'd never allow herself to beg a man to make love to her, knowing he wasn't interested in the person she was inside. Arilyn didn't do sex just for sex. It'd be empty and unfulfilling.

Wouldn't it?

She opened her mouth to protest, but he sealed it shut with a deep, soul-stirring kiss that took all the fight from her. Arilyn surrendered to the masterful embrace, reaching up on her toes for more, helpless to every stroke of his tongue until he slowly eased his mouth from hers.

They stared at one another for a long time. His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, dragging across the tender flesh before finally pulling back.

"It's hard for me to share. The marriage was good in the beginning, but too easy. When things got hard, we both gave up without a fight. I worked too hard, too much, and didn't care. Then one night I came home to find her with my partner. Something died in me. Don't think it'll come back." She listened hungrily to every word, every expression flickering across his rough features. "I detest lies and cheats. I'm still a workaholic and suck at relationships. But I didn't mean to hurt you. And I want you, Arilyn Meadows. Real bad." He turned and headed for the door. "But next time you have to ask me. See you in class."

He left.

She pressed shaking fingers to her mouth. The rules had changed, and she wasn't sure what she was going to do about it.

eleven

Tags: Jennifer Probst Searching For Romance
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