“Why? Is it because I didn’t get down on one knee?” He dropped instantly, gripping my hands. “Or wait, is it because you’re supposed to ask?”
I got down on the floor with him. “No. It’s not because of any of that.”
His face fell. “You don’t love me.”
I shook my head, laughing. “No, it’s not that either. In fact, I might love you a little too much. Maybe not entirely romantically, but I definitely love you.”
“Then why?”
“Because of this,” I said, motioning to the work around me. “Kile, I’ll never be able to tell you how much it means to me that you would take me for life just to save me from one person. Considering what a pain I’ve been, that’s a miracle.”
He chuckled, still holding my hands.
“But all you have ever wanted was to get away from these walls. All you want to do is build. I think that’s a beautiful thing. So many people in the world want to tear things apart. How wonderful is it that you’d do the opposite?”
“But I’d give it up. I wouldn’t mind.”
“I would. I would mind. And eventually, when the scary side of my life dies down, you would, too. You’d die a little from the ache for it. You’d resent me.” Tears pooled in my eyes. “I can’t live in a world where you don’t like me.”
“I’ll stay, Eady. I’m telling you, I want to.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. You just said that you needed to. Who could do this better than me?”
Hot tears streamed down my face. “Please, don’t make me force this on you.”
“You can’t make me leave, Eadlyn.”
I ripped my hands from his and shot to my feet, wiping my face. I looked down on Kile, my sweet, sacrificing friend, and steadied myself.
“Kile Woodwork, you are hereby banished from the palace for the term of one year.”
“What?” he stood, balling his fists.
“As compensation for losing your home, and for services rendered to the royal family, you will have an apartment fully paid for in Bonita.”
“Bonita? That’s on the other side of the country!”
“In addition, funds and materials will be allotted to you to begin a housing project for the homeless in the province’s capital city.”
His face softened. “What?”
“If you find the funds or materials insufficient, you may write the palace and request more, and I will have them sent to you as quickly as possible.”
“Eadlyn . . .”
“You will always be my family, Kile, but I won’t make you my husband. I can’t do that to you.”
His voice was tender. “But you will make someone your husband. You need to now.”
“It will be Henri. Fox left a few hours ago, and Hale just got into a car.”
He was completely floored. “This is really the end, isn’t it?”
“And I was prepared to be with you for the rest of my life. In a way, I guess I still can. But I’d hate myself if I kept you here. It’d be heartless.”
“What about Henri? Will you be happy with him?”
I swallowed. “He does worship the very ground I walk on.”
Kile nodded, allowing that. “I suppose you could do worse than absolute devotion.”
I smiled. “Thank you. You have kept me sane through so much of this, but I can’t take away the one thing you really care about.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
I walked toward him, and he folded me into an embrace, holding me so close it almost hurt.
His voice sounded tight when he finally spoke. “If there’s anything I can ever do for you, tell me.”
I wept into his shirt. “I will. And I’ll do anything you ask.”
“Except marry me.”
I pulled back, happy to see him smile. “Except marry you.” I let go, lacing my fingers together. “I’m going to make the official announcement tomorrow. I need you to stay until then so the press doesn’t get wind of what’s going on. After that, I don’t want to see your face for a year. You hear me, Woodwork?”
“I get a pass for the wedding, right?”
“Well, of course, for the wedding.”
“And Christmas?”
“Obviously.”
He considered. “What about your birthday?”
“Well, Ahren did say he’d come back, so it’ll probably be a marvelous party.”
He nodded. “Okay then. A year except for those three days.”
“Perfect. And in the meantime, you’ll just be doing the thing you were born to do,” I said with a shrug, as if this was all nothing.
He shook his head. “I’m going to build something. I’m really going to build something.”
“And you will change lives because of it.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“You’re welcome.” I kissed his cheek and ran out of the door before I changed my mind. “I’ll see you in the studio tomorrow. I’ll send details once I have them.”
In the hallway, I held my hand to my stomach and took a deep breath. I’d made a choice. So why did I suddenly feel out of control?
I hurried back to the office, glad to see that everyone was on the move, making tomorrow come together as smoothly as possible. Everyone it seemed, except for me.
“Lady Brice, can you please get Erik for me? I need to speak with him about the specifics of tomorrow.”
“Consider it done.”
CHAPTER 30
I PACED THE OFFICE’S SIDE parlor, waiting for him to come. Every second, the mass in my throat grew bigger, threatening to trap all the words I had to say beneath it.
“Your Majesty?” he said quietly, and even though there were people swarming around, he didn’t think twice about smiling at me like I was his sun and stars.
“I need to speak with you about tomorrow. Would you close the doors, please?” I tried to keep my voice even, but his expression showed he knew I was holding back. And that made the attempt at diminishing how important this was that much harder.
“Are you all right?” he whispered, even though we were alone.
I exhaled, trying to keep calm. “Not quite.”
&n
bsp; “According to the news, you have an unexpected suitor,” he said plainly.
I nodded.
“How long has this been a problem?”
“Longer than I knew.”
“I imagine this has caused you undue stress.”
“It’s done so much more than that.” I swallowed. “Because of this issue, I am forced to announce my engagement tomorrow.”
“Oh.” The tiny word held a world of shock.
“And due to Kile having other pursuits that I couldn’t ignore, I will be proposing to Henri. Today.”
At that he couldn’t muster a word at all.
I reached for his hand, and he gave it to me. He didn’t even look angry, which would have been fair since I’d backed out of nearly every promise I’d made. He was, quite simply, only sad. A feeling I identified with all too well.
“I’m sure you understand that I will have to leave after tomorrow,” he said quietly.
“I’ll have Neena find another translator. You shouldn’t be forced to replace yourself.” My breathing hitched, and the tears came. “I’m planning on going within the hour to see him. Do you think . . . could you please not be in the room?”
He nodded. “If you had asked me to stay, it might be the first time I tried to refuse you.”
We stood there, quietly holding hands. Maybe if we were still, nothing could change.
“I’d prepared myself,” he said. “I understood what was coming and still—”
The pain of standing there watching Eikko’s lip tremble was acute.
I fell into him. “Eikko, I need you to hear it. Just once, I need you to know it without doubt. I love you. And if I was free, if I was my own person, I’d escape with you now. But Marid would use my absence as a reason to take the throne, and my people.” I shook my head. “I can’t. . . .”
He took my face in his hands, making me look into his eyes. Though they brimmed with tears, they were as beautifully clear as ever. “What a privilege it is to come in second place to your people. What a queen you’ve become, that you can’t bear to part yourself from them.”
I pulled him to me, kissing him as if our lives depended on it. Maybe it wasn’t the prettiest kiss, with moisture under our noses and mascara on my cheeks, but it was the encapsulation of all the other ones we’d never get to have.