“I still think it was a mistake to move in with him before you’re married.” Her unsaid “or at all” lingered between us. She didn’t like Ryan and she didn’t try to pretend otherwise.
“Ryan and I love each other, Mom. You can accept it or not, but it won’t change what I’m feeling.”
“I didn’t say anything,” she said, even though she had. “It’s your life. You don’t want anyone to tell you what to do. I have no choice but to accept it.”
“You’re right.”
Talia gave me an encouraging smile but I didn’t feel like telling Mom about my engagement now.
Eventually, we settled at the table and had dinner. Talia had started school again and found a couple of friends. Mom had more trouble, mainly because she wanted to make acquaintances among the higher-ranking mob wives, who still gave her the cold shoulder.
“Why don’t you give a few of the soldiers’ wives a chance? You’ll be lonely if you don’t have people to spend time with.”
Mom’s lips pinched. “We’ll see.”
That meant she’d keep schmoozing the Captains’ wives until the last shreds of her dignity were gone.
“I have something I’d like to tell you.” Talia bit her lip, twisting a strand of her brown hair around her finger nervously.
Mom slowly set her fork down.
“Ryan asked me to marry him and I said yes. We want to marry next spring.”
Mom blinked then she nodded as if this wasn’t news. She didn’t look angry, disappointed or happy. “I suspected something like that. It’s the logical choice given our current position. We’re not accepted by most people in the Famiglia so it’s impossible to find a better match for you, especially because you aren’t pure anymore. And your Growl is Enforcer under Luca. It could be worse.”
She made it sound as if Ryan was some kind of emergency solution, someone I’d chosen because I didn’t have a choice.
“I didn’t say yes because I thought I wouldn’t find a better match. I said yes because I love him and know that I can’t find a better man for me.”
Mom gave me a bitter smile. “I don’t blame you, Cara. I understand, believe me, and I accept your decision.”
Anger spread in my body, making my blood pound in my temples. “I didn’t ask for your approval, but we’re a family and I want us to stick together. I want Ryan to be a part of that family, for you to see him for who he really is, for who he has become.”
“He was Enforcer and now he’s Enforcer again, Cara. He’s doing what he does best.”
“You loved Dad despite what he did for work,” I reminded her because no matter how desperately she tried to pretend Dad had been a good man, that wasn’t the truth.
“That’s different.”
“Is it, really?”
Mom stood with a forced smile. “How about we have dessert now?”
Talia rolled her eyes, but I nodded. “Sure.”
Mom turned and hurried into the kitchen.
I sighed. “It’s the reaction I expected. I don’t know why I hoped for something else.”
Talia patted my hand. “She’s taking our new situation harder than us.”
“But we suffered all the same, yet we’re trying to move on.”
“She’ll learn to live with Growl.”
“What about you? You know you don’t have to be scared of him. He’d never hurt you. We’re his family now.”
Talia shrugged. “I don’t know him, but I know you and if you trust him then I know I don’t have to fear him.”
I leaned over and hugged her. “Thank you.”
Talia and I were closer now than we’d been before our father was killed. Maybe because I’d stopped being obsessed with pleasing society and my so-called friends, and because she’d become more mature. We’d both changed and now really appreciated each other.“We could lock them in our bedroom,” Ryan said, but in his eyes, I could see his reluctance. I felt the same way. Coco and Bandit were part of our family. Locking them away felt wrong. As if Bandit knew what was going on, he pressed up to my leg. At nine, his black fur was slowly turning gray around his muzzle. He wagged his tail when I patted his back and soon Coco trotted my way, wanting her share of petting as well.
Mother would have to get used to them eventually. “Bandit and Coco will stay.”
I wasn’t sure who was more nervous about Talia’s and Mom’s visit, Ryan or I. It was strange seeing my tall, strong, inked-all-over fiancé nervous. It wasn’t very obvious, just subtle signs like him checking his watch for the hundredth time or glancing into the oven repeatedly to check on the roast I’d made. He usually didn’t have the slightest interest in cooking but today it seemed to calm his nerves.
“We’ll have a wonderful Christmas,” I assured him as I slid up to him and took his hand, leaning against his strong side.