See her face.
Start making plans.
I pulled into the garage, quick to park before I made a beeline for the gate.
I punched in the code and stepped into Eden.
Hell was going to have to wait.
I dropped my bag in the guest house before I turned in the direction of Mia’s wing. That long row of windows lit up like glitter as the sun streaked down from the sky at a low angle.
My heart thudded. My stomach knotted.
I buzzed into the house, and the smell of fresh paint filled my nostrils.
I moved toward the hall, sight catching on the wet canvas where I knew she’d stood with a brush in her hand.
A man on one side of a cavern. A woman and two children on the other. Their faces distorted in that mystical, haunting way, but there was no mistaking the fact they were breaching the distance.
Finding a way.
Anxious, I sped up, rapping my knuckles once on the partially opened door and poking my head inside.
Penny was on the couch, phone in hand. She looked up when she heard me and grinned.
Another cracked, brittle piece of my heart sloughed off.
“Leif, you’re back. Did you get all finished? Uncle Lyrik said this album is the bomb. Do you want to go for pizza tonight? Mom said it was fine and then maybe we can ask Kallie, too!”
Her ramble of words were sweet and hopeful and gracious.
Like she was asking me for permission.
Like she’d welcomed me as a part of her life.
A child. A child. A child.
My spirit trembled and shook. Haylee’s face flashed behind my eyes.
I missed her. Fuck, I would miss her every day of my life.
The wound that was my daughter would never heal.
But I had to believe Mia had crashed into my life with a purpose.
Proof had to be what possessed me when I looked at her children.
I crossed the space, leaning over Penny, and I pressed a kiss to her forehead. Relished in the gift. Something I was never supposed to have again, but I’d be a fool to question what I was given. “I would love to have pizza.”
She rocked her head back, beaming up at me.
Love rushed.
I edged back, blinked, my entire world rocked.
Never imagined when I got pushed off that cliff that when I landed there would be an entire family waiting at the bottom to catch me.
“Where’s your mom?”
She gestured with her chin. “In her room, reading.”
“Okay. I’m going to go tell her hi.”
“Okay.”
I straightened, not sure what to do with the jealousy that bashed me in the chest when her phone lit-up with a Facetime call that read Dad.
No doubt, Mia and I had tons of sorting to do. There was no chance she could one-hundred percent leave L.A. behind. Doubted that I could, either.
“Oh, there’s my dad. He said he was going to call me right back.”
My nod was tight, as tight as my throat when I swallowed. “No worries. Take your time. We’ll leave when you’re finished.”
There.
That was civil, right?
The right way to handle this bullshit?
Spinning on my heel, I moved for Mia’s door.
“Hi, Dad!” Penny said in her sweet way.
“Penny-Girl.”
It should have been nothing.
The voice.
But every hair on my body stood on end when I heard it.
Paranoid.
My brain fried.
Waiting for the motherfucking shoe to drop.
That was it.
Still, I froze, cocked my head, and turned my ear. Dread lifted in a sticky sweat that coated my flesh. Mind distorted like a bad trip.
“When are you coming home?” It was a grumble. Petulant.
Selfishness to the extreme.
Vicious and cruel.
No.
This couldn’t be happening.
It . . . it wasn’t possible.
I was losing it.
Coming unhinged.
Sins I’d committed coming back to taunt me.
“I, um . . . I’m not sure,” Penny answered, uneasy, because the prick was putting her on the spot.
“You need to tell your mom it’s time for you to get back here. Done with her excuses.”
Nausea boiled. Rising up fast. Filling my throat and coating my tongue in hatred.
I wasn’t even aware that my goddamn feet had moved.
I was standing off to the side of Penny without even really knowing how I’d gotten there.
Not even fucking surprised at the same time.
Because I should have known.
Should have known I couldn’t take and take and take and get away with what I’d done.
Like I could be absolved of the guilt.
Because angels and devils didn’t mix.
But there I was, staring at the vilest one.
His face on the screen.
Nixon Shoewalter.
Our eyes clashed through the phone.
Hatred gnashed my teeth.
Knocked me from the side.
Blunt force trauma to the back of the head.
“What the fuck?” he hissed below his breath.
I stumbled back.
Stricken by what this meant.
Fuck.
I grabbed my head in my hands.
World a tilt-a-whirl.
Gaining speed.
Disorienting.
Devastating.
“Leif . . . what’s wrong? Are you okay? You look like you’re going to throw up,” Penny rushed, jumping off the couch, waving that phone around like a bomb.