“What the hell are you talking about? Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“I’m not. I’m not surprised that you don’t approve of whom I love because then you’d have to approve of something. I already know you don’t approve of my career choice.”
“That’s not true. What kind of doctor would I be if I didn’t think that nursing was an acceptable field of work?”
“You told me that I should have aimed higher.”
“Only because I knew what you were capable of. I told you that I would pay for you to go to medical school. You’re smart and you could have made it far. Yet, you chose an easier profession. I think it’s because it fits into your partying lifestyle better.”
“That’s not it at all. If you want to know, it’s because I don’t think a lot of physicians spend enough time with their patients to make them feel comfortable. They get the care they need, but a lot of times, they need more than medicine to get better. I want to be able to cheer my patients up or reassure them when they’re lonely or afraid. That’s why I wanted to become a nurse. Despite what you think, I care about people.”
“It’s not about the job. It would be easier to be proud of you if you didn’t do things to embarrass me. Have you ever thought, for once, about how your actions reflect upon me? I didn’t like having to pick you up from high school when you got suspended for being inappropriate with girls in the locker room—or being told by my employees that you’ve made a sex tape and you sent it to another nurse. If you wanted me to be proud of you, I think you would have tried harder.”
I scowled at my father. I thought it was unreasonable for him to hold me to his impossibly high standards. I was only human—he should expect me to make a few mistakes every once in a while.
“So what should I do? Move hospitals and be miserable for the rest of my life?”
“Honestly,” he sighed, “I really don’t care. All I ask is that you don’t get me or my new wife caught up in your messes. I’ve been dealing with them for too long. You’re an adult, Chad. It’s time to act like one.”
“Fine,” I said coolly. “If you don’t want anything to do with me, then I don’t want anything to do with you. I’ll find a new job so I won’t have the chance to embarrass you. You won’t have to worry about me, and I won’t have to worry about you. How does that sound?”
“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” my dad said, rolling his eyes.
“I think I’m finally being rational for once in my life. I’m not going to sit around and be miserable just to play it safe. I’m going to live my life, and if it’s easier to do so without yo
u, then so be it.”
“Is that really what you want?”
I nodded, but I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t want to alienate myself from my family, but he gave me no choice. Plus, I was too fired up to back down now. I had to stand my ground and finally become completely independent of my father.
“I’m going home now, if you don’t have anything else to say,” I said crossly. “It’s been a long, shitty day, and I just need some time away from this place.”
“Fine,” he responded. “But don’t think this means that you can say these things to me and expect me to take it. I’m not happy about any of this.”
“I don’t really care. I have nothing left to say.”
I opened the door and walked straight down the hallway and out of the building. As I left, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I now knew that I needed Whitney in my life. I couldn’t sit idly by and watch Ted or anyone else build a life with her. I wasn’t going to watch her live her life from the outside. I needed to be with her.
I was excited by this new revelation, but also a little scared. I had never wanted anything so badly in my life. I wasn’t off to a great start with Whitney, so winning her over would be an impossible task.
Before I could woo her, I needed to apologize to her. I had made a terrible mistake, and no matter how unintentional it was, I knew it really upset her. If I could explain myself, I hoped that she could accept my apology and we could start from scratch.
From there, I had no game plan. Over the years, I had convinced many girls to agree to a variety of things. But I had yet to convince any woman to love me.
If there was anything I enjoyed, it was a good challenge. Deep down, I knew that there was probably no hope, but I was never one to shy away from a bet because the odds weren’t good. Perhaps I was an idiot, but I still wanted to try. If I succeeded, then everything I went though to get to the prize would all be worth it.
Chapter Fifteen
Ted
The last forty-eight hours had been an absolute whirlwind. I had experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows with Whitney. Now, I just needed to know where I stood with her.
Of course, leave it to Chad to stick his nose in my business and ruin the best thing I had going for me. He was just too impulsive for his own good. He did whatever he wanted and just dealt with the consequences later.
On the other hand, I was a more careful planner. It had taken days of brainstorming and agonizing over little details to plan just a few dates. I knew that Whitney had a great time with me, so it was all worth it in the end. If I thought things through thoroughly enough, then there was no reason to plan for disaster. Hence, my current situation.
Oftentimes, I wondered if I should be more like Chad. He was popular and everyone liked him. He gave off a fun and daring vibe. He was loud at times, but not in an annoying way. He just had a lot of charm and charisma that attracted people to him.
I was liked well enough, but I was a lot quieter. Where Chad might say the first thing that came to his mind, I thought about exactly what I wanted to say before saying it. I was cautious in just about all things in life. Maybe if I had been quicker to tell Whitney how I felt about her, I wouldn’t be in this predicament.
By the night of her parents’ wedding, we had already gone out on a few months’ worth of dates. Going slow worked out well for me, because anything too spontaneous would send my mind into a panic that something terrible would happen. I figured that slow was safe, and rushing into sleeping with each other or asking her to be my girlfriend would scare her off for good.