Grant wasn’t silent as Colin had been. He told me who he really was, what he wanted out of life, and how they didn’t really need to work at all but they all felt they needed to be productive. Keep the fortune alive, instead of spending it all away.
I liked Grant, and Colin too, but for different reasons. They may look alike, but they were completely different in and out of the bedroom. Memories of who I’d slept with and when started to play in my mind.
The quaint little place he took me to was romantic as I knew it would be, with real candlelight and steaks that practically melted under your fork. We talked for hours and then he took me home. Only I had him drop me off at Becky’s.
I walked in and she was there, a faint smile on her face. “You were out late.”
“Yeah. Listen, Becky, I need to talk to you.”
“I know, Celia. This campus might be huge, but it can be small. All I can say is, if you go back to them, I can’t be your friend anymore. I just… I love you, I really do, but I can’t support that lifestyle, and I can’t watch as you destroy yourself.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” I stood at the island that divided the kitchen from the living room and felt tears burn my eyes. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved a friend in my life. You’re like a sister to me. But I have to make a choice, and I have.”
“Alright,” she said and sat down on a barstool on the other side. “Tonight, we’ll still be friends, but tomorrow, you have to go. Okay?”
It was the last thing I’d expected, but also the only thing. Becky was firm in her beliefs but she was also kind, loving, and a real friend. She was doing what she thought was best for both of us.
We made milkshakes with ice cream and milk and watched girly comedy movies, and when we were both on the verge of falling asleep, she took my hand. I was sprawled on the end of the couch and she was on the other. Our hands linked, then our fingers curled around each other.
I smiled and when she spoke, I listened. “I will always be your friend, Celia, and if they break your heart, I will be there to put you back together, the way you’ve done that for me.”
“Thank you, Becky. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Celia.” She went quiet then, and soon she started to breathe deeply as she drifted off to sleep.
I didn’t want the night to end because I knew what tomorrow meant. She’d never talk to me again. Not until I broke it off with them.
I looked around her artist’s apartment. It was full of paints, brushes, canvases, and the other things she used for her art. It was comfortable, homey, a place she could live in. I was still heartbroken that she couldn’t accept my relationship with the boys, but maybe she was right.
Our friendship would only sour if she didn’t break i
t off with me. She would hate the boys and would either need to keep her mouth shut about them, or she’d always badmouth them. That wouldn’t be good for either of us, but at least she was grown up enough to admit it.
I’d wanted it all but I could see now, I could only have it with them. It broke my heart, but I’d made my choice. And so, had she.
***
The next day was a Saturday, which meant no class, but Becky was gone. I packed up the few boxes that remained, and I called Keith. Well, the number that must be Keith’s. He came right away and lifted me in the air with a whoop I hadn’t expected. I smiled down at him and examined his face.
He was the fun one. The one that would make me laugh, that would push me into new things, that would make me live. “Hi, Keith.”
“Hi, baby. You coming home?”
“I am,” I said with a sad smile. “I just need to bring all this stuff back.”
“No problem. I’ll take you home, then the boys and I will sort this.”
I’d already brought the boxes down in the elevator, along with my handbag, and I thought about the keys I’d left upstairs with the note. “Thank you for everything. I’ll love you always. Call me if you need me.”
It was all I could write without bursting into tears, so I’d left it simple. She would know what my hand couldn’t write anyway. She was my best friend.
I went to their house, to my old room and waited for them as they went back and forth to pick up all my boxes. I’d decided to make a new start with them and I’d decided that they were meant to be a part of my world. Now, I just had to face the music and get on with it.
My clothes were in the first boxes they brought me, so I found a dress and went into the bathroom to prepare myself. I couldn’t stay sad, not as the heat of the bathwater took away my aches and pain. I had a brand-new life just waiting for me. One I couldn’t have ever imagined, even in my wildest dreams.
I hated to lose Becky, but there was nothing I could do about that. She’d made the right choice for her. I couldn’t live her life for her, so I had to live mine as I saw fit.
I heard the boys bring in the boxes to the bedroom, but none of them bothered me in the bathroom. They gave me space and didn’t put any pressure on me to come out. Which pleased me. I got out when the water started to turn cold and went into the bedroom. I found a pair of yoga pants and a school sweatshirt and put those on. We needed to talk before we did sexy reunion type things.
I left my hair wet, my face clean, put on deodorant, and sprayed a little perfume on myself. I went downstairs and found them all in the kitchen, preparing a meal of fajitas, with all the sides. I took a seat at the small table and watched them work together. They were like machines that moved exactly in time together, parts of a whole, and I could see it as they chopped onions, sautéed rice a little before they poured water over it to make Spanish rice, and how one cut limes and squeezed the juice into the dish that was held out to him, before he went on to cut up lettuce, tomatoes, and more onions.
They were a team, and it occurred to me why they wanted to share a woman. They were a unit, even if they were individuals. It wasn’t perversion, it was just completion of the parts. With me, they were now whole.
I smiled at last and waited for the food they were preparing.