“I don’t know what, Becky?” I asked, and waited for her to answer, but she didn’t. So, I said something else. “I do know you’re the one that asked me here and now you’re treating me like shit. I really don’t get it.”
I leaned back in the booth and stared at her. She had the good grace to look ashamed, at least. “I’m trying to help you and all you can do is treat me like I’m wrong for having an opinion.”
I thought about that woman I’d seen in the other room. How she’d been the one in control and not a fucktoy at all. She’d been pleasured, worshipped which was totally different to what Becky had described. “It’s not always about the man, you know, or men in that case. Sometimes, if you’re the one in control, it can be about you and how you all get off.”
She stared at me speculatively now, then her shoulders slumped, her green eyes miserable. “That’s what Mike said, but I don’t believe him. It always turns out to be the men treating the woman like a slab of meat and not a human. And yeah, I’m sorry for being such a bitch. You don’t deserve it.”
I patted her hand across the table and smiled. She’d hurt my feelings but I let it go. I don’t think either of us was used to having relationships and this was new to both of us. I couldn’t blame her for that.
“Girl, listen. If it’s not something you want to do, don’t do it, Becky. It’s that simple.” I shrugged and sat back in the booth again. “But if it is, don’t let someone else ruin it for you, or let your own prejudices take away something that could be a good experience.”
“What does that mean?” Her face screwed up and she looked at me in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’d do it?”
“I might, with the right men. Or group.” I smiled, then laughed. “But I doubt anyone would ever want to have group sex with me.”
“I think you don’t realize how beautiful you really are, Celia. Especially with that pink hair. I love it, by the way.”
“Thanks.” I touched my hair, and then took a sip of my coffee to hide my discomfort. “I’ll have it for a while, so I’m glad people like it so much.”
“It suits you,” she said and nodded her head. “You’re right too. I shouldn’t be so judgmental. I can’t help it sometimes. I have these strange ideas, which is why people don’t bother to get to know me well sometimes. They think I’m weird.”
“You are weird, girl, but that’s why I like you.” I winked at her and picked up the menu. “Now, what do I want to eat.”
“Chili with cheddar cheese, a toasted cheese sandwich, and some pickles.” I heard Becky repeat across from me.
“How did you know?” I was amazed she knew what I’d want.
“Because, it’s cold as fuck outside, and you always order it now.” She smiled knowingly and beckoned to the waitress that we were ready to order.
“I’m that predictable, huh?”
“Sometimes,” she grinned and looked up as the waitress came to us. When our orders were in and the woman left, she turned back to me. “Thanks, Celia. I still think the whole idea is weird, but you listened at least.”
“You can only do what you’re comfortable with, Becky. Some people are more open to things. Do you think it will be a problem for you two?”
“Maybe.” She leaned back to let the waitress put her cheesesteak sandwich and fries down and then waited. Once the waitress was gone, she chewed up a fry and then spoke again. “He keeps talking about it, mainly when we’re, you know…”
She sort of frowned then looked away. I grinned and leaned closer. “Doing it.”
I couldn’t believe the free spirit that seemed to be open to anything had such a hang-up about this subject, but then I thought about how I felt when Keith took me to that club. I’d felt the same and had a hard time with it until I thought about it and watched. Maybe that’s what she needed?”
“Maybe you could, I don’t know, watch?” I offered as I let the slice of cheddar cheese on top of my chili melt into the concoction in the bowl. I stirred it around and then looked at her. “Maybe?”
“Ugh. I really don’t know.” She took a bite of her sandwich and then looked around. She seemed to be searching for an answer from the outside world. She wouldn’t fit, I knew, because she had to find the answer inside of herself. “It’s just so hard.?
?
“I know. We’re taught one partner, marriage, and then babies. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. And you’re an artist, Becky. You’re the one that’s supposed to be exploring all of this, not me. I’m going to major in medicine, I’m the one that should be telling people it’s unhealthy behavior and all of that shit.” I laughed at myself and took a bite of my food.
“You’re right. This doesn’t have to be that hard. Maybe I should go with him and… watch.” From the way she smiled, I wondered if she liked that idea even better than the idea of participating.
“Maybe it’s a compromise you can make,” I offered, more interested in my food now. She seemed to be appeased and I had skipped breakfast that morning, so I was starving.
“I think you could be on to something.” Her cheeks flushed pink and then she went quiet too.
We’d reached a solution for her I hoped.
We’d kind of reached one for me, too, though Becky didn’t know that part. I’d been on the fence about it all, and I’d done some research online when I was alone. I’d found out about the polyamory community. About the variety of groups sex that there were and so much more. I had looked at it all with disbelief, but now I knew that it wasn’t so strange. I wasn’t certain I ever wanted to be a part of something like that, but I’d learned that maybe it was something I’d like to try.
Now, I realized I liked the idea even more but still wasn’t sure it was something I’d ever take part in. Keith was it for me. He was the total package, and even though we hadn’t been together that long, I knew that nobody else would ever compare to him.
We finished our lunch and then I had to get to work. “Let me know how it goes. If you want to. If not, at least let me know how you are.”
She laughed, hugged me, and agreed that she would text me. I left her with a lot more on my mind that I’d planned. When I finally got to the library, though, I had a fever and had started to cough and sneeze. My boss sent me home early, with a warning not to come back in until I was better.