“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” I growled to myself, running an agitated hand through my hair.
I tapped my fingers on top of my desk in impatience. It would probably be a bad idea to go up to Sophia and explain things to her. She must have thought I stood her up. Knowing it was me on top of it, she’d probably just be even crazier.
Right then, though, I didn’t care. That she would stay angry with me worried me even more, and my heart was beating too fast in my chest in anxiety, refusing to calm down. I slammed my hand on top of the desk, closed my computer and got up.
First, I needed a shower. I’d left the locker room in a hurry, and I felt sweaty and disgusting even though I’d already put on my regular clothes. I picked a towel and some soap and headed for the bathrooms. There was no one around, so I got to shower alone. I rushed, then dumped my clothes in the laundry on my way back to the room, with the towel wrapped around my waist.
Back in the room, I looked into my closet, trying to decide on an outfit. I pushed a lot of clothes to the side, and in the end, decided on a pair of dark jeans and a white shirt. I pulled them on, then a pair of socks and my sneakers. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was getting a little long. I usually cut it when the sides started touching the tops of my ears, but I hadn't yet. I pushed it all back and away from my face, then ran my hands down my chest.
My heart was still beating too fast, there was color in my cheeks, and my palms felt sweaty. It tried to think of the words I would say to her.
Hey, Sophia. I hacked your computer and found info on you on this dating site, so I opened up a profile to mess with you, initially, but I’m serious about it now!
I winced. There was no way I could tell her the truth. She wouldn’t take it well. But I also knew, from Dana, how much she hated lies. I remembered all the info she’d told me
about that ex of hers, and it would be bad for me if she put the two of us in the same category.
The only thing that gave me confidence was how good our relationship was online.
I swallowed, then picked up my cell and headed for her dorm building. I hurried all the way there, but I’d keep stopping on the way as I thought of all the ways this could go wrong. She would probably curse me out and slam the door in my face the moment I told her. She might refuse to talk to me after that. But if I said nothing, it wasn’t like it would be easy for me to approach her. Already she hated my guts and tended to keep her distance from me, and if she thought another guy stood her up, I would probably take the brunt of her bad mood if I approached her carelessly.
Somehow, I needed to make it up to her. It would have to start with telling her the truth, or at least part of it.
When I got to her building, my steps slowed down. I walked into the common room, then headed up the stairs. My heart was beating so loudly that I could hear it in my ears. Eventually, I stopped in front of her doorway. I took in a deep breath, held it, and then let it out in a gust. Then I raised my hand and knocked.
As I waited for a reply, I paced a tight circle in the hallway, wiping my hands on my jeans. I scowled at myself. When was the last time I was this nervous over anything? Maybe in middle school when I was starting to notice girls and my crush noticed me. It felt like so long ago, because I’d come far since then. Puberty was good to me, and I was popular with women. It didn’t mean that I dated around nearly as much as Logan did, but this was the first time in a long time a girl I had an interest in didn’t necessarily like me.
When there was no response for a long while, I frowned at the door, wondering if she’d gone out. Only, this was Sophia I was talking about. Unless she went inside the library, she’d be here. I looked behind me toward the stairs, wondering if I should run over there and check. If I found her, great. If not, then I had more time to try and cool myself off.
Before I could take a step away, though, I heard the lock click. My head whipped around, and I swallowed before carefully masking my anxiety.
Only, it was Dana at the door. She saw me, rolled her eyes, and walked back into the room before I could say a thing. A moment later, Sophia stood at the door, frowning at me with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Can I help you with something?” she asked.
I was surprised, because though she wasn’t necessarily being nice, she seemed more subdued.
“Um, I wanted to talk to you about something,” I said slowly.
She leaned against the doorjamb. “So, talk. I want to get back to my movie.”
I clenched my fists. “Uh, we had a game today. We got done just a while ago. I came here as fast as I could.”
Her eyebrow went up. “What do I care?” she said, voice sardonic. “You can do whatever you want with your time; it’s got nothing to do with me.”
I breathed in deep and let it out slowly, forcing my heart to calm down.
“The thing is… I was supposed to meet you. But I couldn’t because I was busy, I got the times mixed up. I’m sorry.”
Her frown deepened. “Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about. When did I make the time to meet you?”
She looked like she was thinking hard, and as I hesitated, something seemed to occur to her. Her eyes widened, and I came out with it.
“I’m Student X,” I blurted out.
Her mouth dropped open, and for a long minute, she just stared at me. Then she snorted and started laughing. I was confused, but even more anxious. And then, she slammed the door in my face, still laughing behind it. I squeezed my eyes closed and ran a hand down my face, then knocked on the door again.
“Sophia, I’m not kidding,” I said through the door, raising my voice a little so she would hear. I was out in the hall, and I didn’t want to attract any attention, but I had a feeling that if I didn’t get her to talk to me right then, I would regret it later. “It is me, and you’re Rogue right? On the campus dating site. I’m sorry about today.”