“Has Zoe really not said a thing to you?” Kayla asked.
I locked on that immediately. “So there is something I should know? Is she really not–?”
“It’s not that,” Kayla said. “It’s something else, something important. I’m sure she’ll tell you, if she went away without talking to anyone about it, then she probably just needs time. I heard that your parents got married, and other stuff happened, too. Everything happened too fast, she just needs to process it.”
“But she didn’t have to go away just for that. And she already told me she was okay with our parents. What else could have happened that she’s hesitating to tell me?”
Kayla looked at me for a while, then frowned, running a hand through her hair before twirling a lock around her finger.
“Well, there was one thing. She got a job offer as General Manager, for the same team you’re playing for. The owner talked to her himself, too. It’s been her dream job for forever, you know?”
“But, shouldn’t that be good news?”
Zoe had been looking forward to it for so long, I didn’t doubt she would jump on a chance like that.
“You’d think it was, but apparently there was a condition. As a member of the staff, she wouldn’t be allowed to have any relationships with someone from the team. Do you get what I’m trying to say here?”
Yes, I understood. It was almost the same condition I got. Join the team and stay away from Zoe. I wondered if her Dad had anything to do with this.
Zoe.
I wanted her so bad. The thought of losing her and the thought of losing everything else, I already knew what would feel worse, because my chest had been aching for over a week now. Starting over would be a pain, but giving up Zoe would be way worse.
“Thank you for telling me,” I said, standing up. “I do have one favor to ask. If you can speak to her, please tell her that I don’t care. She’s the most important thing to me. I don’t care about anything else, not even football, please let her know that I want to talk to her.”
Chapter Sixteen
Howard
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could tell I was dreaming. Something about the blurry edges of the scenery just didn’t seem real, I was probably close to waking, too, since I could tell I was dreaming.
In this dream, I found myself in the middle of a party. This wasn’t anything strange, because I’d been to lots of parties. It was someone’s house, though I had no idea who. The lighting was dim, but someone had set out some strobe lights. There were a lot of people around. I didn’t recognize any of them, though more importantly, I couldn’t even see their faces. Everything was blurry, but I could smell alcohol and sweat in the air, the sensory memory feeling so real.
This was pretty much what my life used to be, before. Before I fell from grace and decided on changing myself. I would never go back to that. There were women everywhere, surrounding me, grabbing into me, too many. Back then, it was a situation I would have liked, but it could have been a nightmare right then.
The hands on me felt uncomfortable, and I tried to get away from them, but it felt like trying to get away was just bringing more attention to me, because even more women showed up, trying to grab me. I was looking at each of the faces, and I didn’t recognize them.
Zoe. She was the person I wanted to see the most, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Hands, small and soft, caught my face. A woman was in front of me, enough to distract me from the others who still pushed up against me. I even felt the tough of hands sneaking into my clothes. The woman was leaning in, tugging me slightly down with her fingers on my cheeks. I was close to kissing her, but then I realized she wasn’t Zoe, either.
My eyes slid open as the edges of the dream blurred even more, squinting in the morning light.
Why would I have a dream like that? I’d left that life behind already, and I had no intention of picking it up again. What I hoped for now was a future with Zoe. I hadn’t heard word from her yet, but I wasn’t impatient anymore. Now that I knew what was troubling her so much that she had to run away, I just had to wait for her to show up.
My decision had already been made a long time ago, it wasn’t even something I had to think about. Zoe wanted that GM job, and I wasn’t going to let her lose it because of me. Neither was I going to let her go. The hiding, I got tired of that a long time ago, too. I didn’t plan to keep hiding our relationship like it was some illicit affair.
Even if it meant giving up my position on the team, I wanted Zoe, and I wanted her to be happy with me.
Rolling off my bed, I checked my phone. No new message, text, notification, anything. Even though I’d resigned myself to wait, I was still disappointed. I dragged my body to the bathroom and got under the shower. I jumped as the cold water poured on me, though it slowly warmed up to a bearable temperature.
After I was showered, I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around my hips, another drying out my hair. I chose comfortable sweats and a t-shirt, pulling them on after I dried up. Then, I went to the living room, dropped into the couch, and grabbed the remote to turn the TV on. I flipped uninterestedly through the channels, looking for something to distract myself with, even if only for a moment.
There was a knock on my door that made me look up. Hope threatened to rise, but I stomped it down. Still, I practically jumped from the couch and flew to the door, pulling it open without checking to see who it was. Of course, it wasn’t Zoe there.
It was Jackson, my agent.
Sighing, I slumped against the doorjamb. “What do you want?”
“Um, there was an important matter I wanted to speak to you about,” he said slowly.
I sighed and walked back inside, leaving the door so he could come in. I was disappointed, but I should have known Zoe wouldn’t make things easy for me. I sat back down on the couch, and Jackson came and took the other seat. He had his usual briefcase with him. He glanced around the room, then turned to me.
“What, this is the first time I’m in your apartment, and you won’t even offer me anything?”
“If you want me to play good host, you’re out of luck. If you’d like water or something, the kitchen is that way. Go get it yourself.”
He sighed, shaking his head sadly. “Even though I know you’re like this, somehow I still work for you.”