“I suppose that is true, yes.” He fell silent for a moment. “I’m not trying to one-up you, but when you get older, you are ignored. When I get older, I could be killed.”
“You’re talking about a job that you can retire from. That you can walk away from. I’m talking about my life.”
He brushed the hair from my face and gently tucked it behind my ear. His breath dusted my eyelashes. “True again,” he murmured, his gaze taking me in. “But at least you’re not cracked like your cape-wearing butler.”
I spat out a laugh as Mr. Tom cleared his throat somewhere behind us.
“Sorry,” I said, running my fingers across his cheek to get any errant spray. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I didn’t see that one coming.”
“Now you know how it feels.” His soft lips pulled into a smile underneath my touch. He reached up and slowly took my hand away before placing it in my lap and giving me a little space. “You’re not invisible, though. I want you to know that. Here, in this town, you are not invisible. I see you. I see you for what you are, and what you’re trying to be. I admire you for both. Download that magic, if you want. Get young again. We can figure out the town.”
“I don’t want youth to be the solution for something I don’t think is a problem.”
“Then don’t grab that magic and own your life choices. Raise your voice until you are heard. Look however you want, be whoever you want, and demand people pay attention to you. Stop taking what you’re given, and demand the space in life you want.”
I lowered my head, silently crying. He was right on so many levels. I needed to hear this. Over and over, spoken with the assurance and conviction that came so naturally to him. Because I wanted to do it, I just needed a little courage. I needed to feel like I wasn’t alone when I stood up for myself.
We let the night softly move in around us. Minutes came and went, yet I didn’t feel the need to fill the gap with speech. It was nice, just being able to co-exist for a moment.
But finally my mouth caught up with my brain.
“Those daggers in the house…those were real silver, right?”
“Most. And the spike you were holding,” he answered.
“And…the gold? The gems inlaid in the hilts?”
“Unless Earl has been systematically switching out the stones to pay for his clever disguises, all real.”
“Wow,” I said on a release of breath. “That’s… Some of those stones were huge. And all that silver? That’s a lot of money. Why wouldn’t it be in a safe?”
“That treasure trove is nothing compared to what you’ll be offered if you download that magic.”
“You keep saying download—am I like…plugging in? Like a cyborg?”
“I don’t really know the term to use.”
Honestly, it still sounded like fantasyland talk. It probably would until I got more proof. But there was one thing I was sure of.
“Matt—the ex—and I were doing well. I mean, he was doing well. I was mostly taking care of everything in his life, usually at home alone with Jimmy in the evenings while he worked long hours so he could crush it. We as a couple were financially doing great. Emotionally, though, we were bankrupt at the end. I don’t want someone else’s money. I want their time. Their good moods. Their jokes. Their companionship. I don’t want a cupboard full of silver and gold, I just need enough to get by and great people around me.”
“Well if you’re going to hang with Mr. Tom, you’d better have enough cash for odd disguises.”
I bent over, laughing. “Didn’t you hear? He said I could call him Tom now. I’m in.”
“Unlucky you,” Austin said.
Mr. Tom’s disembodied voice came out of the growing darkness. “I can hear everything you are saying. I am not amused, just so we are clear.”
I laughed harder. “What does it say about my frame of mind that I somehow don’t find it strange that an ex-butler is hanging around in the darkness, listening to everything we say?”
“It does not say good things,” Austin replied somberly. “I don’t think you should go too far down that dark path.”
A harrumph drifted out of the darkness.
My laughter increased and my world swam pleasantly. But I knew I was on the cusp. Without Niamh to push me over the edge, I was capable of knowing when enough was enough. I was almost there.
“Let’s head toward home,” I said, finishing my glass of wine. “I don’t want to drink too much and do something foolish.”
“Like kiss a friend in public?”
“Exactly, yes. I wouldn’t want to do something so foolish as that.”
Austin stood and helped me up. He squeezed my shoulders, his face nearly covered by shadows now. “I actually had a lot of fun today. Thank you.”