“I thought I was good at this. I’ve had a lot of practice.” I blew out a breath, and if that breath had been directed at a candle, the flames would’ve burned the whole place down.
“Not enough practice,” Niamh said as people drifted or staggered out of the bar.
“I need to go.” I took a sip of the wine, swayed, caught myself. I ran the back of my hand across my mouth.
“Finish up. Time to get out,” Austin said, his deep voice filling up all available space.
A moment later, I heard, “You ready to go?”
I jumped and turned at the same time. How had he gotten behind me?
That’s when I noticed the mostly empty bar. Only a few stragglers were left, finishing their last drops. Time had slipped away from me. Paul was rinsing beer mats.
“I’m good. Honest.” I pinched the stem of the glass, intending to push it away. Miraculously, it ended up against my lips. I finished the sip-turned-gulp I did not need. “I’ll do it.”
“Do what? Get lost or fall on your face?” he asked with a wry grin.
“I never fall on my face. On my butt, yes. My side, sure. Down some steps and onto my back? That has happened, yes. But never on my face. I”—I raised my finger—“am a professional.”
“Go home, Bridie, you’re drunk,” Niamh said.
“Yes, I am and it’s your fault.” I directed my point at her. “What’s your story, Bridie, you going home?” If I didn’t pee now, I’d have to use the bushes later. In this state, I’d probably fall on my back and pee all over my shoes.
“There’s…ah…” Austin scratched his nose, and I could tell he was trying to hide a smile. “There’s a bathroom just down the stairs, there.”
I had a feeling I’d said that last bit out loud.
“You did,” he said. “And that bit, too. I don’t think your verbal filter is working.”
“I do know where the bathroom is, good sir, I thank you. We are well acquainted, John and I.” I gestured like he was a knight and I was a lady. Half of that was probably correct. “But you do not need to walk me home. Thank you, it’s very gent-le-man-ly—phew, that was a long one—but I am well versed in navi… in getting home.” All that almost sounded like English. I was doing just fine. “Also, I need to pay my bill.”
“Your tab is covered, and you do need an escort.”
“Nia-vvvve will watch me. She is a record holder for rock throwing, I am nearly positive.”
I slid off the bar stool, hit the floor wrong, and pitched forward. I adjusted my weight, because this was not my first rodeo, and would’ve swayed to a stop if a strong hand hadn’t wrapped around my upper arm.
“Unhand me, you fiend,” I mumbled, wondering which movie that was from. Or if it was from a movie at all. I suspected it was, if only because I felt certain a sword would have completed the scene.
“Sounds like it probably is,” Austin said, standing close. “Normal people don’t talk like that. Or use swords.”
“Dang it.” I clicked my teeth shut and curled my lips together. I didn’t need any more words slipping out.
“Go ahead and take her.” Niamh waved me away. “I need to grab a…guy for…something.”
“She is my hero,” I said, pointing toward the bathroom. “Just need to…”
Austin released me, but from the way he held his body—ready to lunge into action at any moment—he was clearly wondering if I’d pitch forward onto my face.
“I’m good, I’m good.” I held up my hands then grabbed my purse. “I’m a forty-year-old woman. I know how to handle a buzz.”
“You’re a forty-year-old woman drinking with Niamh. You’re a long way past buzzed.” Austin laughed, his smile infectious. It really brought out the best in his already perfect features. “You need to learn a better exit plan.”
“Don’t I know it,” I said, bouncing off a wall, stumbling down the stairs, and finally finding my way into the ladies’ room. “Why would Mr. Tom warn me about the sandwiches, but not the alcohol? That seems a grave oversight on his part.”
A younger woman gave me a dirty look as I emerged from the stall. I wasn’t sure why but I also did not care.
“Livin’ the dream. Haters gonna hate,” I said as she slipped out of the way. “Ballas gonna…” I shrugged, turning on the tap. “Spend money or somethin’, I don’t know.”
She huffed and left the bathroom. In the silence of her wake, I paused and the world floated around me in an alcoholic haze. I had my purse but not my sweater. Given I was mostly numb from the vat of wine I’d consumed, I was pretty sure it would take a blizzard for me to feel the cold. I could just slip out the back exit near the second pool table, away from prying eyes.