Magical Midlife Dating (Leveling Up 2) - Page 86

“Oh. I didn’t know you were there,” I said, pulling my finger out of the lock.

“What did you say?”

Slower, I repeated, “I…didn’t…know—”

“Yes, yes, I heard all of that. What did you say before? I missed it.”

It clearly meant when I was talking to myself.

“Nothing. I was just…taking stock of my situation.” I wrapped my fingers around the bars. “Why are you holding me?”

“I am not. I am guarding you.”

I wiggled the bars. “From whom?”

He paused, staring up at me. “They didn’t say.”

“Right, fine. For whom, then.”

“Your captors.”

I rattled the door, ripping off the connection to my team so I could get their locations. To my horror, nothing registered. I couldn’t feel any of them.

I used my magical Morse code.

“Ivy House?”

“Who are my captors?” I said through clenched teeth, waiting for a response.

“The people who put you in there.”

Silence greeted me, not even a wash of feelings from home base.

Panic slithered across my mind.

“Are you trying to be difficult?” I yelled, losing control.

“No.”

I leaned my head against the bars, willing patience. “Who are the people who put me in here?”

“Mages. Women. Very brusque, if you ask me.”

I was going to ask for their names, or who they worked for, but at the moment it made no difference. I had to get out of here. The question, as ever, was how.

“How long will I be in here? What are they going to do next?”

“Yes, that is a good question. It has been a long while since I have been solely in charge of this mountain, and for the last…oh, many years, this holding cell has been nonoperational. I agreed to guard it because that was my job of old, and also because they surprised me with the task, but…” He scratched his hairy stomach with his furry hand. “Well, I never really cared for this job. My home is in the wild. In the woods. There are no woods within the mountain. Besides, I don’t much like the problems of the magical world. Very dramatic. Did you know…” He tilted his head back up to me, and the hair on his face moved, as though he were smiling. “They think I am one of their Bigfoots. Absurd, I know. That’s just a made-up creature. But…” He nodded at me, his hand still resting on his belly. “I’m something of a legend around here. Maybe not as big as my cousin up north in those redwoods, but I have a nice little following around here, hunting the trees for me, trying to get a peek. Sometimes I show them a little leg, as it were. Maybe dart between the trees, too fast for a photo. You have to be quick in this day and age, though. Their little cameras are so fast. Much faster than those old upright, standing cameras. Remember those? Better picture, too. I have to be on my game. It keeps me busy. Kind of slow in the winter months, though.”

My knuckles were white on the bars. “You are welcome to haunt my woods. They’re glorious, and I have a diligent groundskeeper. If you let me out, you can roam to your heart’s content. I’ll even let you flash the locals—whatever you’re into. Or money. How about money? I can give you—”

He shook his head. “I have no need for money.” He spread his arms. “I don’t wear clothes. Woods, though, huh?”

“Acres and acres. Have you heard of Ivy House? Down in—”

“Oh yes, Ivy House. Now there’s a name out of my memories. Ivy House, yes. Lovely woods, there. Enchanted woods, my favorite kind. I like the way the magic feels on my—”

“No, no.” I pushed my hand out through the bars. I was worried he might start talking about his begonias.

He knew of Ivy House, though. We couldn’t be too far away. Given his predilection for the woods and the size of this cave, we might be in the Sierras. Not far at all, in the grand scheme of things.

Not that it mattered if I couldn’t get him to let me out.

“Lots of enchanted woods and lovely gardens,” I pushed.

“I do love the taste of flowers. They are scarce this time of year.”

“We have lots of flowers! Our groundskeeper, he’s a vampire—”

The creature sucked in a breath.

“You don’t have to talk to the vampire,” I rushed to say. “You don’t even have to see him. He’s a little crazy anyway. I get it.”

“Vampires are not the right sort. I used to try to capture them so I could pop off their heads and bowl them through the rest of their kind.”

“Right.” I grimaced. That was gruesome. “Well…he’s pretty tame. He’s really old. He got kicked out of his—”

“But I do so love flowers. Magical woods produce the best-tasting flowers.”

“Yes. We have lots and lots. The…groundskeeper wins the local festival every year for his gardening. That’s how good he is.”

Tags: K.F. Breene Leveling Up Vampires
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