I unscrew the little jar and spread the rusty-colored jam on my croissant. It is too sweet. I discard it and carrying my cup of coffee walk over the enormous bay window. In the distance, I can see a man crouched on the ground. He must be one of the gardeners. He stands and kicks at the ground, and a dog runs up to him. My stomach contracts and the coffee cup in my hand rattles.
Oh, Momo!
Twenty Years Ago
“Mama.”
“What?”
“There’s no food in the house, and I’m hungry.”
Mama turns away from staring at the urn of Papa’s ashes and seems surprised. “Oh! You’re hungry?”
Ever since the funeral all Mama has done is sit in Papa’s favorite chair and stare at his urn. I heard Madame Bernard say that it was a kind of quiet madness. A madness designed to keep her sane. Her mind is struggling to make the world habitable again.
Of course, I don’t understand what all that means, but the word mad is very worrying. I’m even afraid to go to school. One night when she was drunk on the last of Papa’s whiskey, she said “Be happy, Chelsea, he’s not dead at all. I promise you, he’s just playing a trick on us. I think he has another woman in a different town. But he’ll come back to us.”
“But, Mama, his ashes are in the urn.”
“Those are not his ashes. You know how big Papa was. He could never fit into that urn.”
I believe her, until Monsieur Lemarie tells me that all human beings become that small when they are cremated.
Now, Mama looks around blankly. “Well, why don’t you go to Monsieur Lemarie’s house? His wife always has something cooking in the oven.”
“Mama, will you come with me?”
“No.”
“Aren’t you hungry?”
She turns away from me. “No. You better enjoy your time with them. We’re going back to London next week.”
“What?” I gasp.
“Yes, I can’t afford to live here anymore. I’ve already had my eviction notice. I’ve got you now so the government will have to house me.”
“But what about Monsieur Lemarie?”
“What about him? He’s nothing to us,” she shoots back.
“But what about my school?”
“Well, you’ll go to school in England, won’t you?”
I shift from foot to foot, thinking. Two men came and bought Papa’s car last week. “How will we get there?”
“I have enough for the bus.”
“Will they let Momo get on the bus?”
My mother turns to look out of the window. Winter is nearly over and the snow is melting. “No, we can’t take Momo with us. They’ll probably stick us in a bed and breakfast to start with and pets are not allowed. I think it will be best if we’ll leave Momo with Monsieur Lemarie.”
“No, Mama. No,” I cry, my eyes filling with tears.
She glares at me suddenly, her eyes cold and hard. “Are you being stubborn again, Chelsea Appleby? Have you not learned your lesson yet? Remember what happened the last time you were stubborn? Your own father was murdered in the woods. The next time something will happen to me. Then what will you do? Hmmm?”
Chelsea
I decide to take a walk. It is a cold, bright morning. The air is clean and crisp. If I am lucky, I might come upon the deer herd. I walk down the road, past the tennis courts. In the distance, near a massive spreading oak tree I see them. Some are sitting quietly and the others are standing around grazing at the frost covered grass. I step off the road and start walking steadily towards them.
Some of them turn to watch me. They flick their ears and keep their gaze on me. I can see they are curious and a little wary, but they are unafraid. Slowly I go closer. One of them starts trotting away and a few follow him. I realize that I am not going to be able to go much closer. I would have loved to have gotten really close, and maybe even touch them.
I wish I had brought some food for them.
I am so focused on the deer that a sound behind me makes me jump and whirl around in fear. Thorne is heading towards me. My heartrate doesn’t slow down but picks up. Somehow out here in the open land he seems bigger and more intimidating all in black, jeans, T-shirt, and leather jacket. My whole body feels uneasy. I turn back towards the deer and wait for him to arrive next to me. I watch the deer all raise their heads and watch us.
“Want to feed the deer?” he murmurs.
I look up at him. The sunlight is in his eyes, making him squint and the grey between his stubby eyelashes appear like glossy gray glass. “Yes, I’d love to.”
He pulls a brown paper bag from inside his jacket.
“What is in it?”
“Strawberries,” he says shaking the bag.
“They like strawberries.”
“Yup. You can’t just feed them anything in winter.”
“Oh.”
He takes a strawberry out and immediately the most daring deer starts approaching us. He stops about twenty feet away. Thorne throws the strawberry close to him. The deer moves towards the fruit, stops, looks at us and finally lowers his head and eats the fruit. Thorne flings another fruit about five feet closer. The deer moves towards the fruit. Other deer have now come to where the first deer stood.
Thorne makes a clicking, calling sound with his tongue and throws another strawberry about eight feet away from us. “It’s a buck.”
“Oh, my God! He’s coming,” I whisper excitedly. He is already so close I can see each individual strand of the fur on his body.
“Come on, big boy,” Thorne encourages.
“Is he the Alpha?”
“Not sure, but he certainly is the bravest one.”
The deer comes and takes the strawberry. Next Thorne throws one about three feet away. As the deer comes closer he fishes another fruit out of his bag and holds it out.
“Want another one?”
To my delight the deer trots up to him and takes it directly from his hand.
“Good boy,” Thorne says and offers another strawberry. The dear takes it immediately.
“That is amazing,” I gasp at that. “Can I give him one?” I ask.
“Of course.” He stretches the bag out to me.
I take a fruit and hold it out by the stem. My heart is beating fast. The deer is actually a lot bigger up close than he looks from far away. He hesitates, his nostrils sniffing the air, then he comes up and quickly takes the strawberry from me.
“Oh, Thorne, I felt his lips,” I say, with an awed laugh.
“Nice,” Thorne says, but he is looking at me in a strange way.
I realize that I could be showing Thorne the side of me that I don’t want him or anyone else to see. I compose my face. “Can I have another one?”
He holds the bag out to me. “Take the bag, but throw some to the other boys too. Look at them. They want some, but they are just too timid”
“Okay.” I throw some to them and watch them eat the fruit, but my real love is for the brave boy who dared come so close to us. I wish I could pet him, but he has a substantial rack, and I can imagine how badly I would be injured if he rammed me.
When the strawberries are all gone, the deer moves away. I stare at it longingly, but I am intensely aware of Thorne standing next to me.
“Do you want to see the lake?” he asks.
“There is a lake?”
“Uh … huh.”
“If you have nothing better to do.” I don’t know why I said that. I’m not usually such a sap.
“I have nothing better to do,” he says quietly. “Come on.”
He sets up a brisk pace and we walk in silence. Just over the rise we come upon the lake, surrounded by trees. It is wonderfully peaceful. Sunlight bounces off the water, and swans and ducks swim serenely on the sparkling surface. It is very, very beautiful. How lucky he is? He owns all this.
“You’re a very lucky man, Throne.”
He frowns. “I never thought about it, but I suppose I am.”
“You never th
ought about it?”
“No. I spend so many hours working I never have time to enjoy any of this.”
“Really? Seems such a shame. To have all this and never appreciate it.”
He glances at me. “You are right. I need to hit my off button more often.”
“Where is it? I’ll do it for you?” I offer.
He laughs.
I stare up at him. When he laughs like this he is indescribably splendid. I watch him closely. I want to remember this moment. One day he will be gone, but I will have this enchanted moment by the lake. I will this moment by the lake.
“What is it?” he asks, suddenly frowning.
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
“Hmmm.”
“There is a boat. Do you row?”
“Nah. I’ve never been on the lake.”
“I’ve always wanted to be on a rowing boat. Can we have a go?”
He stares at me. “You really want to?”
“Yes, of course.”
“It won’t be too cold for you?”
“No. I think I am secretly an Inuit. I never feel the cold.”
He helps me into the boat. To be honest it is quite small and rickety and a little voice at the back of my mind does worry that we might end up in the freezing water, but I know I can never say no to this experience. One day when I my lying on my death bed I will remember, I rowed on a lake on a bright cold morning with an elusive billionaire called Thorne Blackmore.
Thorne’s powerful arms row us to the middle of the lake. I look around me. It is exactly what I thought it would be. Magical. I gaze into his face. “Thank you for this,” I whisper.
“No, thank you, Chelsea. My life is staring at computer screens. If you had not brought me here, I would never have known how beautiful the lake is.”
Something inside me relaxes. For these few moments, he is not Throne Blackmore the elusive and cold billionaire, he is a man rowing a woman on a lake. “It is beautiful, isn’t it?”
“You have no idea how beautiful,” he says, but he is not looking at the lake. He is looking directly into my eyes.
Chelsea
A luncheon at the Ritz will require a beautiful and bright cocktail dress. I stand in front of the closet and let my eyes move along the color coordinated rack of clothes.
Then I see it. A fitted hot pink dress with a low neckline and a cute peplum. It could work, but it is brighter than I was thinking of. For a winter occasion … I hesitate, unsure if it’s something I can pull off, but the dress is so beautiful I can’t bring myself to put it back on the rack.
What the hell. I’ll just try it on and see what it looks like.
I slip it on and to my surprise it looks really, really good on me. I don’t think I have ever worn something so effortlessly classy. It must cost the very earth. I turn around and twist back to look at the dress from the back in the mirror. The dress hugs me in all of the right places and cleverly accentuates my small bum so it looks quite substantial. Whoever Thorne hired to stock this wardrobe for me really knows their stuff.
Helpfully, that person also put a pair of black Manolo Blahniks directly underneath. The back of the shoe is adorned with a tiny black ruffle along the front that goes perfectly with the peplum on the dress.
I take the time to make my eyes smoky. It highlights the blue of my eyes. I find a lipstick to almost exactly match my dress. That goes on next. An updo would be too formal for a luncheon, so I clip my hair back with black velvet clips.
After I give myself a quick once-over and decide that I feel confident with the end result, I spray some perfume from a selection of bottles on the dressing table. I’m not sure who I’m trying to impress, but I must kill the excitement that is uncoiling at the pit of my stomach when I think of how Thorne will react to my appearance.
Feeling confident I shrug into a black velvet coat and leave the room. I meet Anabel coming from the other end.
“Oh my, oh my, lass. You’ll knock the spots off all the other women,” she says with a cheeky grin.
I smile back shyly. “You don’t think it’s too bright?”
“Child. You’re a sight for sore eyes.” She leans forward. “And Mr. Thorne’s eyes are very sore these days. He works too hard.” She tuts. “Too many hours that man puts into his work.”
I blush.
“Well, I won’t hold you back. I just came by to see if everything was to your satisfaction. And if you need anything else.”
“Yes, everything is just great. Thank you.”
She turns to go, then whirls back. “Oh, and you don’t need to make your own bed. Theresa will come around to do it while you are at breakfast and if you decide to have breakfast in bed, she will do it when you leave.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I know, child, but you wouldn’t want to do Theresa out of a job now, would you?” she says with a wink.
I smile and shake my head. She goes the way she came and I descend the stairs. Halfway down I am suddenly incredibly nervous. I pause and give myself a small pep talk. You’re simply going to be Thorne’s arm candy for the day. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of thinking that you are anything more than just a trophy that he is using for his pleasure.
As I resume my journey down, Thorne steps into the hallway and looks up at me. My breath hitches. He is in an immaculate dove-gray suit, white shirt, and charcoal tie. It’s not something I expected. I’ve never seen him in anything but black. Black suits, black T-shirts, black jeans. His hair is pulled back and out of his face, and he is freshly shaved.
He looks incredible.
His lips part when he sees me, but instead of his usual scowl or cold nod of acknowledgement, he becomes completely still. He stares at me almost in disbelief, or shock. It’s like he is seeing me for the first time. Then he blinks, and the stunned look is gone from his face.
He walks towards me and, as he did the night before, he extends his hand out to me. I don’t hesitate this time. When I place my hand in his, he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb and brings it to his lips. My whole body tingles with electricity.
“Will I do?” I breathe.
“You’ll do, Chelsea Appleby,” he murmurs against my skin.
My tense body relaxes, melts like chocolate in the summer. I stare up into the beautiful icicles in his gray eyes. How long I was lost in their desolate beauty I don’t know. It could have been a few seconds, a few days, or even years, but I know I wanted to stay there forever.
There is a cough to the left of us, and I jump and whirl my head towards the sound. For a moment there, we were the only people in the universe. No one else existed.
“Ryland is bringing the limousine around,” James says.
We walk together to the front door as the car rounds the fountain and pulls up by the steps.
James moves forward to open and hold the door for us.
Chelsea
“So this is the big unveiling?” I ask into the strange silence between us.
He nods. “Yes.”
“Are you nervous?”
He looks at me curiously. “Why would I be nervous?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. The unveiling is a very big thing, isn’t it? The whole world is waiting to see what you come up with. All the knives are out. Everyone is waiting to criticize.”
“Shall I tell you a secret?”
My eyes widen. “Okay.”
He leans forward, his eyes strange and unknowable. I think this is the moment I finally admit to myself: I’m in love with this man. I have been for years. I just refused to acknowledge it. Now, I can no longer run away from the knowledge.
“Ellie is just a party trick, a sleight of hand. Like someone who pulls out a coin from behind your ear. She is already surpassed,” he says, a mocking tilt to his voice, his breath warm against my neck.
“Ellie?” I whisper.
He moves back to look into my face. “Is the AI robot that will be unveiled today.”
I try to assi
milate what he is saying. “What do you mean?”
“What they will be celebrating today is already old news. I have built an AI that if unleashed will make the world as we know it unrecognizable.”
I stare at him. I don’t know much about AIs, but I am vaguely afraid of them. I have been ever since I read an article from Steven Hawkins warning us of the dangers of AI. “What kind of changes are we talking about?”
He laughs. “You are a thief and a liar, what makes you think I would tell you?”
That hurt is palpable. I feel in my chest a sharp stab. I turn away from him blindly.
“Chelsea?” he calls, his voice odd, but I don’t turn around. I can’t let him see how much he has hurt me.
“Keep your secrets, Thorne. I don’t want to know. I was just making polite conversation.”
The rest of the journey is managed in tight, tense silence. I can hear him breathe, smell his cologne, see the perfect crease of his trousers, but we might as well have been on different planets. My heart feels numb.
In spite of the fact the exact location was only revealed to people on an individual basis based on how long the journey will take them to arrive here, someone has managed to alert the paparazzi. They line the perimeter of the hotel and across the street with the long-lens cameras. They are all expecting to see Thorne, but the driver drops us off at the back where the organizers are waiting with a whole load of security men.
I’m actually surprised at how much security there is.
It’s quite unnerving because everybody stares at me. I know they are surprised to see Thorne, a fiercely private and inscrutable man, bring a woman with him. They have never seen him with one before. He leads me inside to meet some of the people. I start to recognize some of the world’s most famous billionaires. Hell, you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting a famous person.