What a mess.
I escape to the bedroom to pack. Anything to dodge the growing tension between the three of us, thick with things left unsaid. Except that’s not the problem, is it? We’ve said everything there is to say and it’s still not enough. Some hurdles even love and sex and decent communication can’t overcome. That’s just life. It sucks and I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do to change it.
I pull on a floral dress that buttons down the front and am searching for a pair of fleece leggings when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn to find Derek standing in the doorway. He’s wearing jeans and one of those flannel shirts that make him look like a sexy lumberjack.
His gaze drags over me, starting at my bright red toes and ending at my eyes. “Emma.”
It’s like his presence sucks the very air out of the room. “Yes?”
He takes a step toward me, and then another. “I like the dress.”
“Thanks?” I shake my head slowly, trying to focus past the desire that instantly surges in his presence. “Is that what you came in here to say?”
He opens his mouth, seems to reconsider, and gives a rueful grin that sinks a hook right into my heart and tugs. “We haven’t left the cabin yet.”
My body goes scorching hot. “We have to leave soon in order to make the rescheduled flights.”
“Grayson says we have an hour.”
A small eternity and not nearly enough time at all. I know what my husband is doing, recognize his method of paving the way to the future he wants. If he can’t have Derek, then he figures me having Derek is the next best thing. I want to yell, to shake Derek, to convince him that he’s making a mistake by turning away from this without even trying. But if I push him, I might push him right out of our lives completely. It would hurt me. It would destroy Grayson.
So I don’t say all the words bubbling up in my chest. I simply nod. “Then I suppose we better hurry.”
Derek moves closer, leaving the door open behind him. “Unbutton that cute little dress, Emma. Let me see what I’m going to be missing.”
Again, I almost tell him what Grayson and I talked about. Again, I hold back. I don’t have to make a decision now. It’s possible my husband made that offer and he’ll regret it later. It’s possible I’ll regret it later if I take him up on it.
But Derek’s right; we’re still in the cabin, still within the parameters of our extended Christmas.
I slowly unbutton the front of my dress to my waist and then tug the fabric aside. Derek hisses out a breath. “No bra, Emma?” He moves closer yet, until he’s almost touching me. “If I pull up your skirt, am I going to have your pussy bare, too?”
“Only one way to find out,” I murmur.
He sinks to his knees in front of me. He’s tall enough that his face is nearly level with my bared breasts in his position. I reach out and dig my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer until his mouth is on me. “I’ll tell you a secret if you want.”
“I want,” he growls against the curve of my left breast.
“I never wear anything under my sundresses.” I gasp as he pulls my nipple into his mouth, but force myself to keep talking. “Grayson loves to fuck me whenever the mood strikes and panties just get in the way. We fuck in the bathroom at parties, in the car on the way home.” He moves to my other nipple and I moan and tighten my grip on his hair. “We fuck in your parking garage nearly every time we visit.”
Derek moves down my body, kissing his way over my stomach. “You walk into my apartment all filled with his come.”
“Yes.” I shiver. He nips my lower stomach but doesn’t move from there. I take a slow breath. “It feels particularly dirty to be having a conversation with you while he drips down my thighs.”
He presses his head to my stomach. “Fuck, Emma. What am I supposed to do with that?” He curses. “Every time I see you, I’m going to wonder if he’s just been inside you.”
“You could always check so you know for sure.”
Derek doesn’t hesitate. He runs his hands up my legs, barely pausing where the hem of my dress brushes my upper thighs before he shoves it up around my waist. He pushes me back onto the bed and spreads my thighs. One thorough lick later and he lifts his head. “I don’t taste him on you.”
“Then you have your answer, don’t you?”
“Guess I do.” He looks down at me, and I try to see myself from his perspective. My dress does a better job of framing my nakedness in our current position than covering anything. My skin is flushed and I’m breathing hard despite the fact that we’ve barely done anything. My entire body is shaking with a pure bolt of need. Derek strokes up my thighs and uses his thumbs to part my pussy. “Show me.”