Except I want to find out if it can.
Derek doesn’t answer, and it’s just as well. We devolve into beasts, fucking mindlessly. He thrusts up into me with every stroke Grayson makes, gripping my hips so tightly, I suspect I’ll have a constellation of bruises from his fingertips. I relish the pinpricks of pain, relish the knowledge that I’ll be carrying around a little physical memory from this moment. Grayson snakes a hand around my waist and down to stroke my clit. Always seeing to my needs, even while balls deep in Derek.
I come apart with a cry. Grayson bears me down to Derek’s chest and then he’s kissing him as Derek releases inside me. Grayson pulls out a bare second before he comes in great spurts across my ass.
We lay there panting for several long moments. The room seems to be doing a lazy spin around me, but Derek’s chest is wonderfully solid beneath my cheek.
Grayson gives us another minute before he hauls all three of us into the bathroom and we take turns in the shower. Through it all, a strange sort of tension rises. We’ve had easy silences before, more than I can begin to count.
This isn’t that.
Worry rakes hot claws through my stomach as I towel dry my hair. They still haven’t said anything. Even though I know better—sometimes when Grayson is working through a particularly complex problem at work he needs time and space alone—I blurt, “Would someone please say something?”
“Nothing to say.” Derek finishing drying off and hangs up his towel. Without another word, he walks out of the bathroom. I listen to his footsteps cross our bedroom, the soft sound of him pulling on his pants, and the door shutting softly behind him.
I turn to look at my husband. “What was that?”
Grayson wraps his towel around his waist. “He’s putting distance between us.”
“No, shit. Why?”
He scrubs a hand over his face. “It hurts too much to do anything else. Derek lives by the rule that it’s better to leave before people leave him. I don’t think he’s been dumped once in the time I’ve known him. Maybe his first girlfriend, though I couldn’t say for sure.”
I frown. “We’re not going to let him get away with that.”
“Emma, give the man some space.”
That’s what Grayson has done over the years. Over and over again, and I suspect that’s why they never sealed the deal before now. Well, that’s not how I operate. I step to him and press a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m going to go get him.”
“Emma,” Grayson warns.
I walk out of the bathroom and peek out the window. “It looks like the snow has stopped. We don’t have much time.”
“Baby, some things aren’t meant to be.”
I know him well enough to recognize the undertones of fear in his voice. My husband is just as fucking terrified as Derek seems to be. I understand, though I don’t have the history of quite as much baggage as they bring to this. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe it means I can see things clearest of us all.
I cup Grayson’s face in my hands. “You love him.”
“Emma—”
I kiss him again. “It’s okay. Give me some time to talk to Derek and let’s see what I can do.”
“Talk, huh?” Some humor creeps into his tone.
I smile a little. “Sometimes talking and fucking go hand in hand, husband. You know that. It’s how you snagged me.”
“That’s the damn truth.” He sighs. “Okay. You’re probably right. I’m not… I’m not thinking clearly right now.”
I give him one last kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
After some quick consideration, I pull on my silk robe and walk to Derek’s bedroom. The door is unlocked, which is all the invitation I need to turn the knob and step inside. The room is identical to ours, positioned to maximize the view of the mountains with a giant king sized bed and large bathroom. Derek sits on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He barely looks up as I shut the door and lean against it. “I need some space.”
“It’s not going to do you any good.”
That makes him actually look at me. “Easy for you to say.”
“It’s really not.” I walk to him, stopping a few inches shy of his knees. He’s tall enough—or I’m short enough—that our positions put his head nearly in line with my chest. But he’s not ogling my breasts right now. He’s staring up at me as if I contain the answers he’s afraid to ask for.
Because I do.
But Grayson’s right; I can’t come at this head on. If Derek is feeling skittish enough to flee when the glow has barely worn off from some of the hottest sex I’ve ever had in my life, then he’s likely to jump out the window and start hiking down to the lodge if I press him now.