“Are you trying to convince me…or yourself?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Aurora, you’re human. So is Malone. Is it really that surprising that she’s got nuance and that there might be stuff about her that you actually like?”
“Weren’t you ready to take her out so I wouldn’t have to?”
“Yeah,” she answers easily. “But that was to protect you, not because she’s a monster.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours. Obviously.” She sighs. “But cut yourself a break. No matter what your history, you’ve been drawn to Malone from the start. It’s not exactly surprising that there might be something more there.”
“There is not anything more there.” Even as I say it, I feel like a liar.
Another of those sighs, like I’ve disappointed her. “If you can’t kill her and aren’t going to change your mind, you might as well call off the assignation now. Hades will be overjoyed. He’s been stalking around here, looking half a breath from ripping people’s heads off. Everyone’s so scared of him, they’re on their best behavior, and it’s making my job too easy. You know how I hate being bored.”
She’s right. I know she’s right. If I can’t follow through on my plan, I need to get the hell out of here. I have no reason to stay without that driving me. And yet… “I’ll stay through the end.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Don’t you dare make that sound at me, Allecto.”
“Mmhmm.” She snorts. “Tell her that if she mistreats you, I’ll gut her myself, golden queen or no. But as long as she’s on the same page, I look forward to an invite to the wedding.”
“You are such an asshole.”
“Just because I’m an asshole doesn’t mean I’m wrong, and you know it.”
Except she is wrong this time. Ribbing me or no, there is no version of Malone and my relationship that ends in happily ever after. Even if I can get past what she did to my mother, the hurdles to surmount are impossibly high. Better to just end things now. I close my eyes and try to steel myself to do exactly that. There is absolutely no reason for me to ride out this assignation. Not a single one that makes sense.
I still can’t bring myself to make that call. Not yet.
“Aurora.” Her tone has changed, some of the amusement falling away. “Do you need me to make the call and get you out?”
A small, cowardly part of me that I’ve worked so hard to exorcise wants to beg her to do exactly that. If someone else makes the call, then I’m not responsible for how things fall out. I don’t have to figure out my confusing feelings for Malone. I can just run. Allecto won’t hold it against me, either. She’s got no problem wading into a situation and hauling her people out, regardless of wrong or right. She just does what she feels is necessary.
I clear my throat. “No. I have it under control.”
“You sure as hell don’t.” She sighs. “I’m trusting you to call if you need me.”
“I will. I swear I will.” I even mean it. Except… Some things you have to do on your own. This is one of those things for me. If I can’t follow through on my original intention—and I’m still not sure if that’s true—then I need to get myself out of this mess with my own willpower and strength. Allecto would call me seven kinds of a fool for feeling that way instead of using the plentiful resources I have at hand with my friends, but Allecto has already fought all her personal demons and won.
I glance at the clock by the bedside. “I have to go.”
“Stay safe.”
“You, too.” I hang up and flop back onto the bed. What a mess. I don’t know if I really thought calling Allecto would result in the heavens opening up and the answers falling into my lap, but obviously that didn’t happen. No way forward but through this.
I prop myself up on my elbows and look at the vibrator Malone left. Part of me wants to ignore her command out of spite, but she’s not bluffing about not letting me orgasm for the rest of the assignation if I do. More than that…I want to send her the videos. Thinking about her watching them down in her undoubtedly fancy office makes my toes curl. And if they distract her a bit from that laser focus she has? All the better.
The vibrator is a little different than the ones I’ve used before. I mess around with it for a few minutes, finding it extremely bendy. The internal portion has a movement that, when lined up correctly, should stroke my G-spot, and the clitoral stimulator motion mimics oral sex. Damn, this thing is cool.
It takes a little time to get the fit right, but before too long, I’m rushing toward my first orgasm. I barely remember to grab the phone in time. Knowing she’s going to watch this video only makes it hotter. I don’t bother to try to hold out, not when I have five more where this came from. I come with a cry and bite my lip hard enough that delicious little pricks of pain heighten my pleasure.