Xavier shook his head as he kissed me hard. “Evie, how can I let you go out like this?”
I tensed until he rasped his next words into my ear. “You look so fucking sexy, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you. Do you really want me to ruin my suit by coming in my pants?”
I laughed. “You’re a big boy with lots of restraint.”
“No, I’m not, and we both know it.”
I had already wished him a happy birthday this morning, twice, but right now I felt like another congratulation was due.
“Hey, keep it PG-13, will you?” Fiona muttered as she drifted into Connor’s arms, who regarded her with open adoration.
“We will if you do,” I countered.
“I can’t guarantee anything,” Connor said, wrapping an arm around my sister.
Xavier exchanged a grin with his best friend. “Me neither.”
We arrived at the party with the first guests since I had insisted Xavier be on time for his own birthday party, and because I wanted to give a few last-minute instructions to the service personnel. They worked for the hippest hotel in town so I knew they could handle a birthday party, but I wanted to be sure. After all, we expected about four hundred exclusive guests.
The hotel bar that I’d rented for the occasion offered a spectacular view over the opera and Sydney’s nightly city lights.
Xavier accepted the congratulations with his usual charm and cockiness, but his arm remained firmly wrapped around my waist, not allowing me to blend into the background as I’d done in the past.
I noticed people’s curious glances, especially from the women who’d been invited as potential conquests, but I tried to ignore them. We mostly hung around with Xavier’s teammates—even his coach had come—since Xavier didn’t seem to care much about pretty much anyone else. His family wasn’t invited since they stayed out of the public eye. We’d visit them for a late birthday celebration later that week.
The moment I untangled myself from Xavier to visit the ladies’ room, I noticed one of the women make their way toward him, but his eyes were on me and when he finally did look at her, his expression couldn’t have been more hostile. Smiling to myself, I disappeared in the restroom and moved into the only free stall.
The toilets next to me flushed and high heels clicked before water started running. “I can’t believe he chose that girl to be his girlfriend.”
“I know,” said another female voice. “Have you seen her hips and ass? I mean, I know the media is all over plus-sized models at the moment, but he’s an athlete.”
I peered through the gap between the door and the stall, spotting two tall, skinny women with dark hair.
“Everyone needs a fatty treat now and then,” the one with the darker, almost black hair said, then they both laughed. They applied lipstick as I leaned against the stall, feeling heat rush into my head and tears sting my eyes.
“I guess that’s it, but still. I actually wanted to give him a go tonight. He’s an asshole but he’s supposed to be so good in bed.”
“I know. Just do it. I mean, come on. If he’s got the choice between you and that girl, he’ll forget all about her.”
More giggling, and finally they left.
I drew in a deep breath, trying not to let their words get to me, but it was a losing battle. They had voiced all of my concerns. How could I hold Xavier when girls like that kept throwing themselves at him? I couldn’t compete with their bodies. Everyone with eyes in their head could see it.
I pushed out of the stall. Even if their words hit too close to home, I wouldn’t hide like my fourteen-year-old self from the mean girls in school.
Checking my reflection to make sure my eyes were satisfyingly dry—my flushed skin was a losing battle—I returned to the party.
Xavier was talking to the two bimbos from the ladies’ room, who worshipped him with their eyes as if he was the second coming of Christ. His body was Greek god worthy, no argument, but I’d gouge my eyes out with my stiletto heels before I’d ever give him that kind of simpering look.
I squared my shoulders and walked over to the bar to grab a beer. Fuck looking sophisticated with a fine glass of white wine, I wanted my liquid carbs. The bartender handed me the bottle and a glass. I took the former, not the latter, and took a large gulp as I tried to look completely unfazed. Fiona and Connor were doing something that could be considered dancing but was probably classified as a public misdemeanor in certain countries. I didn’t know Fiona could twerk. With a tiny butt like hers, that shouldn’t have worked, but she pulled it off magnificently and Connor looked more than a little impressed.
“Are you going to twerk for me too?” Xavier growled in my ear, making me jump and almost drop my bottle. “With your wicked ass that would make me come in my pants for the first time since my teenage days.”
“I don’t twerk,” I said quickly.
Xavier wrapped his arms around me from behind, pulling me against his body. “That’s a shame.”
I could see several heads turning our way, including the two bimbos from the restroom. “We’ve got an audience.”
Xavier followed my gaze to the two girls whispering among themselves.
“I don’t give a flying fuck,” he muttered, then kissed my throat before he took my hand and tugged me toward the dance floor. “Dance with me.”
I quickly left the beer bottle on the bar and followed him. “Xavier, I can’t dance.”
“We’ve already established that you’re a fast learner,” he said with his wolfish grin. “And I’m a good teacher.”
Holy mother of too sexy ruggers.
Xavier gripped my hips and began to move to the beat. Soon we were grating and twisting and shaking and rubbing, and the room faded to the background. Xavier’s arm snaked around my waist as he jerked me closer to his body, his mouth coming down to my ear. “The moment we’re out of here, I’m going to eat your pussy and fuck you senseless if you let me.”
I choked back a laugh. If I let him? If I wasn’t worried about it making headlines tomorrow, I’d have jumped Xavier right here on the dance floor. My eyes must have answered his question because he groaned. “This might be the first time I won’t be the last to leave my birthday party.”
We stayed two more hours because, like Xavier had pointed out, it was his birthday party and it would have been rude if the guest of honor had left first. We didn’t make it home for the naughty business. We didn’t even make it out of the parking garage of the hotel before Xavier’s fingers slipped beneath my skirt and brought me the first high of the night. We did, however, make it into the elevator of his apartment building before his pants hit the floor and I showed him what I’d learned—while Teniel’s voice blared out of the speakers asking why the elevator had been stopped. Eventually he gave up.
Xavier didn’t let me finish him, though. Instead we stumbled into his penthouse, where we dropped to the floor and Xavier made good on his promise to devour me. After that he took me right there on the floor with my clothes still on. Rug burn had never been more appreciated.
I woke before Xavier and slipped out of bed to check my phone out of habit, knowing that last night’s party would have made headlines somewhere. I grabbed my bathrobe and put it on over Xavier’s shirt, desperate to cover as much of me as possible. Moving toward the panorama window in the bedroom, I scrolled through the emails when I caught sight of a message from Maya Nowak. It contained only a link. I clicked on it even as dread settled in my stomach.
She must have worked on it all night to have it up this early. Maya’s article was even nastier than I’d feared. I should have expected it. When we’d invited the press originally, Xavier and I hadn’t been an item yet, and he’d wanted her there for the very reason that her articles always got the most attention.
She commented on every single one of my imperfections: the cellulite on my upper thighs, which apparently was unmistakable through the cheap leather of my skirt, my wide hips, my soft stomach, my big butt. She made it
sound like Xavier had only chosen me to pay all of his past conquests back by being with someone this disgusting.
Heat rushed into my head as I read her words. I knew I wasn’t Instagram fitness model material, but I definitely wasn’t the visual trainwreck she described. My emotions wavered between anger and embarrassment. The latter made me mad at myself for allowing someone I didn’t even like to make me feel that way with a few words. The covers rustled as Xavier sat up in bed.
“Evie? What’s wrong?” Xavier asked as he pushed out of bed completely naked, completely perfect. I was about to close the article when Xavier took my phone from me and scanned it. His expression turned furious, then he threw my mobile on the bed and cupped my face.
“She is a spiteful creature, Evie. Don’t waste a single thought on the bitch.”
“She is right in one point though. Look at you,” I said, motioning at his body, at the perfect muscles. Not a gram of fat, no jiggle, nothing but pure male gorgeousness. Everyone who looked at us would always wonder why a man like Xavier would settle for a woman like me. I had seen those surprised looks, and the whispers that followed. I finally motioned down at myself, safely covered by a bathrobe, hiding all my unfavorable places, which according to Maya was my entire body. “And look at me, Xavier. We don’t match. You belong with someone like Dakota. Someone who doesn’t look like she enjoys beer and burgers with bread. Someone who fits a size zero.”
I swallowed hard, because this feeling of never being enough, of lacking because I wasn’t thin enough, cut deep. It had been a part of me for so long, it was difficult to shake off.
“This is the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever heard,” Xavier muttered.
I gave him a look. “I know what kind of girls you’ve had before me, and they were all fit and thin.”
He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “Yes, they were.”
My stomach plummeted at his admittance, which was ridiculous considering that he was stating facts everyone knew.
“I chose those women for a night. I didn’t give a damn about their personality, or anything really, except for their bodies. But you, I don’t want for only a few nights. I want you for forever.”
My eyes grew wide, and Xavier too looked a little stunned. “You… I can’t believe you said that.”
Xavier kissed my mouth, a gentle, slow kiss. “Fuck. Me neither. But it’s true, Evie. I’ve never enjoyed someone’s company more than I do yours. I trust you. I love your brand of humor, your loyalty, your snarkiness and your smile. I love every last piece of you, Evie.”
I blinked. “And I love you.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, then kissed me again.
Xavier slid his palms under my bathrobe and slowly pushed it off my shoulders. It fell to the ground. I was still in Xavier’s shirt, but he grabbed the hem and began pulling it up. I touched his arms, stopping him. “Xavier—” I began, terrified of being exposed to him in bright daylight, when my flaws had always been hidden in the half-light so far.
“Evie,” Xavier said firmly. “I just laid my feelings bare to you. Let me see you.” He softened his voice. “I’ve touched every inch of your body. I know where you are soft. My hands know every inch of you. There’s nothing you need to hide from me, honey.”
That was the first time he called me honey, and it broke through my walls. I swallowed thickly then lifted my arms over my head. Xavier pulled the shirt over my head and threw it to the ground. I started shaking, couldn’t help it, and had to fight the urge to cover my body. I feared Xavier’s rejection. I didn’t think I could live it down if he was disgusted by my body.
For a long time his eyes remained firmly on mine before he finally kissed my mouth, then the tip of my nose, then my cheeks. “I love those freckles,” he murmured.
He kissed my shoulder blade, my collarbone, then the swell of my breast. My nipples puckered under his lips. “I fucking love your breasts,” he said in a slightly deeper voice.
He touched my waist and got down on his knees. I stiffened when his mouth kissed my ribs, then my stomach, which would never show abs. He dipped his tongue into my belly button unexpectedly, and I screeched with laughter and tried shoving him away, but he was too strong and held on to me as he released that deep, manly chuckle which made warmth pool in my body. He tilted his head up, giving me that wolfish grin as his cheek pressed up against my less than perfect belly. “I love your belly button, and the sounds it creates.”
I huffed, then quieted when Xavier pulled back and watched as his hands slid down my waist over my hips to my thighs. He kissed my inner thigh so close to my center that I held my breath in anticipation. “I love your luscious thighs that always squeeze the life out of my head when I’m eating you out.”
Heat blazed in my cheeks and Xavier’s expression became more intent, hungrier as he regarded me. “I love that blush that tells me all of this is only mine.” His hands slid around and cupped my ass, squeezing. “And fuck, I love your ass. I can’t tell you how often I imagine having you bent over so I can really appreciate it fully.” He pressed a light kiss on my pubic bone, then made his way back up, kissing the same spots he had on his way down before he claimed my mouth for a far less restrained kiss. “I love every inch of you, Evie. Can you get that into your stubborn head?”
“Okay.” I smiled against his mouth. “And I’m not stubborn.”
He growled playfully and pulled me against his body. We kissed and stroked and finally found ourselves on the bed.
Xavier climbed between my legs and reached for his drawer, but I stopped him. He frowned.
“I started taking the pill.” Then I hesitated. “So we don’t need protection unless you…” I didn’t want to bring up the past, but in this case it was necessary.
Xavier looked stunned for a moment. “I’ve always used protection. I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
“Would you like to try with me?”
He exhaled, then brought his tip to my entrance and slowly pushed in. He stilled when he was all the way inside of me. “Fuck, Evie, you feel so good.”
He made love to me slowly, reverently, until my body throbbed with a deep ache, but he seemed content to keep me on the edge forever. A sound of protest burst from my lips when he pulled back and rolled on his back. “Why don’t you do some of the work now?”
I swallowed and sat up. So far I hadn’t been on top because it would allow Xavier a good look at my body. As he could see my struggle, he stroked my cheek in reassurance.
“I can’t wait to have you on top, Evie.”
“Okay,” I said despite the flicker of self-consciousness.
I straddled Xavier, trying not to worry about being too heavy, because Xavier was a beast, but I didn’t sit upright. Instead I pressed my chest against his as we kissed and his hands roamed my back and butt. He squeezed my ass cheeks, then reached behind us and lined himself up. He shifted his hips and slid in a couple of inches. “Let me see you,” he rasped, and I gathered my courage and pushed myself into a sitting position, my fingertips splayed across Xavier’s chest as he held my gaze. He didn’t look anywhere else and I could have kissed him for it because I knew he wanted to, but didn’t want to push me too fast.
He squeezed my hips lightly. “You will have to move,” he said with an amused look.
I rolled my eyes. “Let me catch my breath here,” I said, feeling stretched and utterly full.
Xavier’s mouth tipped upwards. “Take all the time you need. But then I’ll enjoy the view while you’re at it.”
His eyes lowered to my breasts as he cupped them and began kneading them gently before brushing my nipples with his thumbs. I gasped and his eyes flickered up to my face. His gentle ministrations quickly had me relaxed and desperate for more, so I put my hands more firmly against his chest and lifted my hips experimentally. I wasn’t exactly sure how to move. “Will you show me?” I asked after a moment, biting my lip, and cocking one eyebrow in challenge despite the blush heating up my cheeks.
Xavier twitched inside of me, his jaw tightening. After a moment, the smile returned. “Next time I see Connor, remind me to thank him for his hairy ass.”
I choked out laughter. “You’re thinking about Connor while we’re having sex?”
He chuckled. “It’s to pull the reins a little.” His hands came up to my waist, and he began guiding my hips in a slow up and down rotation as he met my movements with his own gentle thrusts.
Soon we established a slow, sensual rhythm that made my toes curl deliciously. Xavier’s eyes roamed over my upper body and face as he kneaded my butt, and I didn’t feel self-conscious because the look in Xavier’s eyes held so much adoration and appreciation that even the nasty whispers in my head were quiet for once.
I let him look at me as I looked at him. Soon I could feel the familiar tugging, like a knot being unfastened in the slowest way possible until it suddenly snapped, and I came with a violent shudder.
“Fuck. Yes, Evie, come for me,” Xavier rasped as he thrust harder into me, until I half fell on top of him. He wrapped an arm around my back and brought us both into a sitting position where we caught our breath for a moment. “How about I show you another position?”
I grinned. “You know I love to learn new things, and you are a good teacher.”
The wolfish smile, then he flipped us around so he hovered over me, and I had to admit I enjoyed the view of his flexing arms and gorgeous face above me. Xavier cupped one of my legs and as he leaned forward, he positioned my ankle up against his shoulder blade.
“I didn’t know yoga skills were required for sex,” I muttered at the slight stretch in my leg.
He pushed into me in one stroke, shutting me up effectively. He waited a moment before he started thrusting into me. He kissed my cheek. “Tell me if I’m going too hard or if it hurts,” he rasped, his eyes meeting mine to make sure I was okay. I kissed his mouth, so hopelessly in love with the man above me, it seemed my heart would burst from the sheer volume of my emotions.
His thrust became harder, deeper, but I’d be damned if I told him to stop. The twinge was soon drowned out by a deep ache that tugged at my core insistently, compellingly, and I wanted nothing more than to give in to it. As if he could see that I needed a small push, Xavier reached between us to touch my sweet spot, his mouth claiming mine, and I came apart under him.