“Why don’t you show Evie to her room, Xavier?” Milena suggested.
Xavier frowned briefly at his sister-in-law, then motioned for me to follow. He grabbed our bags and led me upstairs. “They are amazing,” I said.
“Wait till they start being annoying.”
His voice held affection despite his words.
I stifled a smile. Xavier opened the first door to the right, a small, cozy guest bedroom with a checkered rug and a narrow wood bed.
Xavier put my bag on the round table next to an armchair before he turned to me. “Nothing fancy.”
I shrugged. “I love it here. I bet it was wonderful to grow up in this house.”
Something dark passed Xavier’s face but as quickly as it had come, it disappeared. He didn’t give me a chance to ponder his reaction. “I’ll take my bag to my room, then we should return to my family. They’re probably up to no good.”
Suppressing my curiosity, I nodded. Together we walked back into the dining room.
The moment I caught Milena’s eyes, she winked at me.
I wasn’t sure why she did it, but I had no intention of asking. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of Xavier’s family.
The lamb roast was amazing, and I complimented Georgia several times for it, until she asked if she could adopt me. Her words briefly lodged a lump in my throat, reminding me of my mother, and I excused myself under the pretense of having to go to the toilet. It only took a couple of minutes to gather my bearings and when I stepped back out of the guest bathroom, I was surprised to find Xavier waiting in front of it. “My mother didn’t know about your mom,” he said quietly, his eyes scanning my face.
I smiled embarrassedly. “It’s no big deal. I got emotional for a moment, but I’m fine now.”
“You sure?”
The worry in Xavier’s expression warmed my insides. “Absolutely. Now come. I need another bite of that roast.”
“You aren’t one of the girls who have qualms eating fluffy baby animals, are you?” He grinned.
I snorted. “They aren’t fluffy and cute anymore when I eat them. If I had to butcher my meat, I’d become a vegetarian.”
We headed back toward the dining room table, and again received a few curious glances.
After dinner we talked for a long time, mostly about my time in the US but eventually we moved on to funny stories from Xavier’s childhood. I quickly noticed that everyone skirted around a certain topic: Xavier’s father.
I had a feeling it wasn’t because the man had died and everyone grieved his absence. As I knew from experience, the silence surrounding the gaping hole a beloved person left behind felt different—not as resounding, more lingering. I hadn’t seen a single photo of a man in the entryway or living room, even though there were plenty of family pictures.
It was close to midnight when Milena and Marc went upstairs where their kids were already sleeping. Willow had fallen asleep in her wheelchair, her dark hair covering her face. She reminded me of Snow White in a tragic way. Then I felt guilty for the thought. Just because she was in a wheelchair, that didn’t make her a tragic figure. She had a loving family.
Georgia got up and moved toward her daughter, but Xavier rose from his chair. “Don’t wake her. I can carry her upstairs,” he whispered.
Georgia nodded, then mouthed good night before she headed upstairs as well.
Xavier scooped up his sister carefully, as if she was the most precious thing he knew. Her head dropped against his chest and she looked fragile and small against his tall frame. He raised his eyes, catching me staring at him.
And in that moment, I realized what I had been denying for a long time: somewhere along the way I had fallen for Xavier. Not for the brash manwhore or the arrogant asshole, but for the glimpses of the kind, funny Xavier that he so rarely showed to the outside world.
Oh, Evie, you idiot.
“Do you need my help?” I asked in a whisper.
He nodded and walked toward me. “Can you open Willow’s door for me?”
“Of course.”
We headed upstairs in silence, Xavier carrying his sister as if she weighed nothing, and me carrying my feelings like a stone weight shackled to my ankle, dragging me deeper into the depths of the ocean.
I stayed in the doorway as Xavier lowered his sister into her bed and covered her with a blanket before pressing a kiss to her forehead. Sherlock and Watson curled up on the rug beside the bed. I stepped back and Xavier walked out, closing the door.
For a moment neither of us said anything. Xavier’s warm scent surrounded me, and I could feel my body answering to it. My eyes lingered on Xavier’s mouth.
“Good night, Xavier,” I murmured, my voice catching in my throat.
“Good night, Evie,” Xavier said somewhat gruffly.
A small shiver passed through my spine, and I quickly disappeared into my bedroom.
Horse riding was scheduled for the late morning. So much for not making a fool out of myself in front of Xavier’s family. But seeing Xavier in faded jeans and an equally faded unbuttoned jeans shirt with a tight white wifebeater beneath it, a brown cowboy belt and boots, made up for it. The Marlboro Man would have wept tears of jealousy seeing Xavier, not that Xavier would go anywhere near cigarettes.
When Xavier led me toward the stables and I caught sight of the five huge beasts, my pulse sped up. Georgia, Marc and Willow were already waiting for us while Milena stayed back to watch over the children. I wished that could have been me. I knew many girls dreamed of owning their own horse and riding every day, but I had never been one of them. The idea of being at the mercy of an animal that weighed more than many Asian car models just never struck me as something desirable.
“Xavier,” I whispered as we arrived beside the animals. “I told you I’ve never in my life sat on a horse, and to be honest their size terrifies me.”
Xavier’s eyes flashed. “Being around me all the time, size shouldn’t bother you anymore.”
I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulder. He grinned.
I could feel everyone’s eyes on us and flushed. Marc and his mother exchanged a look, and Willow looked like she was about to freak out from joy.
“You’ll be fine, Evie. I’ll stay close,” Xavier murmured.
“You’d better.”
Xavier moved toward his sister. To be honest, I was surprised that she’d join us. I didn’t know much about horse riding, but I hadn’t considered it a possibility for someone who was disabled. The saddle on her horse, a harlequin beauty, had additional straps and props for her thighs.
Xavier lifted his sister out of her wheelchair, her arms coming around his neck, and again my heart did the flip that began to scare me senseless. He hoisted her up on the horse and helped her strap herself in. I wondered how she could steer a horse without her legs. Maybe only through the reins. Xavier patted her horse before he returned to me. The only thing missing for him to become the star of a Western romance was a cowboy hat, and the only thing missing from me turning myself into the star of my own embarrassing soap opera was if Xavier realized that his charm had the same effect on me as on every other woman on this planet.
My God, Evie, get a grip, will you?
“You okay? You have a strange look on your face,” Xavier said as he led me toward two majestic horses with dark brown fur while his family trotted ahead.
“I’m fine. Only nervous.”
He pointed at the bigger of the two beasts. “That’s my horse, Adobe. And your horse is Cinnamon.”
My mouth twitched. “You’re giving me a horse named after food.”
Xavier chuckled. “I didn’t choose Cinnamon because of that. She’s the calmest of the lot. She’s a good beginner’s horse. But it’s fitting. You smell like cinnamon.”
“Probably because I love cinnamon buns,” I said.
“Probably,” Xavier murmured. He tore his eyes away from me and nodded toward the horse. “Let’s get you in the saddle.”
&nb
sp; “Okay,” I said uncertainly, peering up at the huge animal. She had beautiful dark brown eyes with long dark lashes. That horse was prettier than most people. My gaze was drawn to her back. How was I supposed to get up on the saddle? “What do I do now?”
Xavier took my hand and lightly pressed it to the side of the horse’s neck, then moved our hands over the soft coat. “Show her your touch is good,” he said quietly, his eyes on the horse.
I shivered at the feel of Xavier’s gentle touch and his closeness. His eyes met mine and for a moment my breath caught. Then I cleared my throat. “She’s beautiful.”
Xavier nodded. Slowly he looked back to our hands pressed up against the horse’s neck. He dropped his hand. “Why don’t you try to mount her?”
I huffed out a laugh, couldn’t help it.
Xavier grinned dangerously. “You have a dirty mind, Evie.”
I blushed but pushed past Xavier and glanced up at the saddle.
“Grab the horn,” Xavier instructed.
I automatically looked toward the horse’s head as if it had sprouted a horn like a rhino. Xavier chuckled, the deep rumbling awfully distracting. He touched a small knob at the front of the saddle. He, being a giant, would have no trouble mounting the horse, but I was neither fit nor a lightweight. I was glad that Xavier’s family had gone ahead and wasn’t still watching.
I gripped the horn.
“Put your foot into the stirrup,” Xavier said.
That proved already a small challenge. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had to move my leg that high up. “Don’t you dare laugh,” I muttered when I saw Xavier’s expression.
“I wouldn’t dare.”
I sent him a glare but had to stifle a smile.
“Now pull yourself up.”
As if it was as easy as that. I tried to use my hand on the horn to pull me up, but with the angle my leg was in I had no way of getting up. Heat rose into my cheeks. Xavier was a professional athlete, and all the women he usually dealt with were fit, and I couldn’t even hoist myself onto a horse. I didn’t even want to think of the way my butt looked in that angle.
“I can’t,” I said, and cringed at how my voice wavered. I wasn’t a teenage girl anymore who hid in the restroom after gym classes, damn it.
Xavier stepped up close behind me and put his hands on my waist. Tension shot through my body at the unexpected closeness, at the way my body responded to it. Then another thought struck. What did Xavier think of the soft feel of me? I wasn’t all muscle and bone.
He released me with a small frown. “I wanted to help you. I should have asked first.”
He sounded regretful, but there was a darker note to it. I searched his face, but it was closed off.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I was only startled. You have touched me before.” Not on my waist, not anywhere near it, and heaven have mercy, I wanted his touch back despite my worry about his opinion of my soft body. “I need your help. But I doubt you can hoist me up.”
Xavier shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous, Evie,” he threw my words back at me with a confident smile. His hands returned to my waist, big warm hands, hands I wanted to feel everywhere on my body. “On three, you pull.”
“Okay,” I said quietly.
“One…two…” His fingers on my waist tightened, sinking into my softness, but before I could feel self-conscious about it, he said, “Three,” and lifted me. I quickly pulled at the horn while pushing against the stirrup at the same time, and suddenly I was on top of the horse, safely positioned in its saddle. I stared down at Xavier with wide eyes.
Xavier was a beast. All muscle, all strength, all man. God have mercy.
“See?” he said smugly.
I swallowed as I stared down into his cocky gray eyes and handsome face. This was getting dangerous. “Thanks,” I said with a shaky smile.
Xavier stepped closer. “Are you okay up there? You look scared.”
I was scared, very scared, but not of the horse or the riding. “I’m fine. It just takes some getting used to being up so high,” I lied.
“You will get used to it quickly.” He touched my knee briefly, lightly, like a friend, but the contact zapped through me like electricity. Xavier pulled away, walked to Adobe and swung himself up as if it was the easiest thing in the world, then he grabbed the reins in one hand and straightened leisurely in the saddle.
My eyes trailed over his muscled thighs pressed up to the horse, up over the ripples of his stomach that his shirt didn’t hide, to his flexing arms. He patted his horse lightly, then steered it toward me. He grabbed the reins of my horse as well. “I will lead for now because you haven’t done this before. If you feel confident on top of Cinnamon you can take over the reins, all right?”
I nodded. There were so many things I hadn’t done, and wanted him to take the lead in. He clucked his tongue, tugged at the reins and Cinnamon began trotting beside Adobe.
I let out a startled gasp and clutched the horn as if my life depended on it, my thighs clinging to the horse’s belly.
“Straighten your back. Don’t just hang there like a limp dishrag,” Xavier instructed.
I stiffened my spine with a glare, but Xavier only laughed and turned back to the front. Eventually I started to feel more comfortable on Cinnamon. She followed Xavier and Adobe obediently, and Xavier oozed enough calm for the both of us. He looked at peace, as if this was who he truly was. That he let me see this side of him meant something. Problem was, I didn’t know exactly what.
After about thirty minutes in which I got magnificent views of the rugged hilly landscape of the Blue Mountains, Xavier handed the reins back to me. “You can do this,” he assured me when I gave him an uncertain look. “It’s like riding a bicycle.”
I didn’t mention that I’d always hated riding a bike and hadn’t done it in years. The beautiful landscape made up for my fear of dropping to my death from the horse. I’d have to visit the Blue Mountains National Park when Xavier and I weren’t on a family visit. Even from a distance the forested rock formations were breathtaking.
I clutched the leather reins and clucked my tongue like Xavier had done while pressing my thighs against the horse’s sides. Cinnamon started trotting at once. Xavier stayed close by the entire time until Georgia fell back and led her horse alongside us. “Why don’t you talk to Willow for a bit?” she suggested to her son.
“Don’t interrogate Evie,” Xavier muttered before he twitched his thighs and Adobe sped up.
“There’s really nothing interesting I could tell you about Xavier, nothing you can’t read in every tabloid in the country,” I told her when she fell into step beside me.
“I don’t care about gossip,” she said quietly. For a while she didn’t say anything, only let her gaze stray over the surrounding greenery and distant mountains, glowing bluish and gray on the horizon. “This house was up for foreclosure a few years ago.”
I slanted her a curious look.
“Marc was still paying off his tuition, and Xavier had only just started playing for his team. There was no way I could have paid off the bank. I had made peace with the fact that I’d lose my home, but Xavier took out a loan to save the estate. Without him I would have lost the farm of my parents and grandparents.”
Why was she telling me that? “I know Xavier is a good man. The tabloids report about a side that he allows them to see, a side he wants them to see. But he’s much more than that.”
She gave a terse nod. “He needs a woman who makes him believe in his goodness.”
“It’s not like that between Xavier and me. I’m his assistant and friend. He doesn’t see me as more than that. I’m not his type, for obvious reasons.”
Her eyes did a quick scan of my body. I didn’t have to elaborate. We both knew I was about forty pounds and one million sit-ups away from being Xavier’s type. “I have eyes, and I know my son,” she said cryptically. “I have a feeling you might be the one to crack through his shell.”
Xavier preppe
d the bed of a massive Ford pickup truck, cleaning it of clutter and putting sleeping bags inside. Xavier and I were supposed to head out and watch the stars. Milena had suggested it after we’d returned from the ride, and everyone had been absolutely enthusiastic about the idea, especially Georgia and Willow.
The idea had seemed good at first, but the longer I thought about it the less I was convinced that alone-time with Xavier was safe. Georgia’s words had rattled me. That combined with my evolving feelings for Xavier made a romantic adventure seem less desirable, even if it wasn’t supposed to be that.
“Ready?” Xavier asked. “We have only about thirty minutes left until sunset.”
I nodded and got into the front of the truck. Xavier joined me a moment later and steered the car away from the house. We drove in silence. Xavier had been oddly quiet since our ride, and I wondered why that was. Had his mother said something similar to him? I hoped not. I didn’t want her to push us together when it was obvious that Xavier wasn’t interested in me that way. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should even consider following my feelings at all. Xavier’s lifestyle didn’t really favor a woman like me at his side.
Xavier eventually stopped the car in the middle of nowhere, and we got out and climbed on the truck bed.
The air was getting surprisingly cold as the sun set, and soon goose bumps covered my skin. My chinos and the thin sweater didn’t really keep out the cold. I dragged the sleeping bag up to my chest as I stared up at the night sky in awe. Despite the chill, I could appreciate the sparkling beauty that nature had to offer.
“Are you cold?” Xavier murmured, startling me. He hadn’t spoken since we’d left the farm. It was unsettling seeing him so quiet.
“Yeah,” I admitted.
Xavier shifted a bit closer and wrapped an arm around me lightly. “I can be your personal space heater.” He paused, regarding my face. “Is that okay?” He squeezed my arm.
“Yeah,” I said breathlessly. His scent surrounded me and the soft fabric of his jeans shirt brushed my neck. Every nerve ending in my body stood at attention from his proximity.